Im sure this has been done before but as of this moment in time I have just crowned my annoying little fucker of a roomate as the worst roomate ever.

*Back story********************
I applied to Chapel Hill last semester after getting my grades up, so while all of my friends were looking for places for the following year I was waiting on to hear back from Chapel Hill. They liked my essay, I talked with the Dean and everything they just said that the only problem was that they need more than one semester of exceptional grades as proof that I can excel at UNC. So needless to say I didn't get accepted and couldn't find any good friends I could room with by that point because everyone generally has a place by this time except for transfer students, people in weird situations like me, and the reject subhumans of the college community. I thought well how bad could it be?, I would just get a few randos i'm sure it couldn't be that bad.....
*****************************

I find a place thats fairly cheap... 4 bedroom 2 bathroom $405 m/o with all utilities included except internet, I think okay thats pretty do-able, I'm tight on money right now.

So I move in, my roomates seem alright at first, one roomate is Muslim, hes a pretty chill dude, pretty americanized, has a pretty cool hookah that we chief on from time to time. One is kind of a bum, he smokes cigs, his room is that of a homeless person, mattress on the floor, dirty dishes and trash in his room, lives off the $1 tostinos walgreens pizzas, but he goes to class makes pretty good grades from what he says and hes pretty funny, hes an english major and wants to write his own sitcom, he is always writing ideas for shows and shit. He also has to be told to clean up shit in the kitchen from time to time but its manageable.

But my last roomate is the one who makes me fantasize violent thoughts about him. I hate every second that I see his fucking face. Here's a description of him: He's a 5'6-5'7 jewish kid with glasses and really fair skin big ears and a speech problem (he has problems saying his R's) since I have so many things to say about him that piss me off I have to write it in list form.

Roomate Shit List
1. he wears a combination of weird wigger clothes and shitty air jordans

1. he only listens to underground no name lyrical rap battle shit music and plays it all the fucking time

2. thinks that he is a lyrical rapper and tries write and record his own music on his macbook while rapping over crappy 90's beats ( try listening to a kid with a speech problem rap about "his struggle and how the system keeps us down and the government is corrupt" for hours on end

3. he plays the same songs over and over

4. he stopped going to class after 2 weeks ended up dropping out and says hes going to take the year off, then he quit his job, now he stays awake all hours of the night doing annoying shit and making noise and then sleep all day long on the couch in our living room.

5. He tries to tell other people how to live their lives, claims we are all retarded and are oblivious about how corrupt the government is, how we are all ignorant, we pay taxes to serve the goverments terrorist acts

6. tries to argue about anything with anyone, like he has to teach people the right way to do things and butts into conversations just to tell people the are wrong when he has no clue wha he is talking about.

7. always makes reference to phildelphia and how much better things are there, saying things like "back in philly", "when i lived in philly", "my friends in philly", "if we were in philly", basically anything to jizz about philidelhpia when he only lived there for about a year while going to school at temple which he had to transfer out of because he couldnt keep up with classes

8. thinks he is an iron chef, gives people advice about how to cook things in the kitchen and how he would have made it better yet whenenever he cooks he fucks up every recipe, drops shit and burns everything.. even brownies

9. once argued with a female cashier at a chinese restaurant while we went to get take out about how he does not believe they could have possibly gotten an award for top 100 chinese restaurants in the u.s. before even trying the food. also referenced how "back in philly" there is probably a better chinese restaurant on every corner.

10. once started making homade chili at 4am in our little apartment and it stunk so fucking bad that we had to leave the house the next day to get away from the smell. my girlfriend was gagging while taking a shower. it smelled like the underside of a ballsack the day after sex and not showering mixed with vinegar and gym socks. not only did his clamoring in the kitchen keep us awake but the smell alone did aswell even with my door closed and the window up and keeping an airfreshner next to my bed.

11. he is high twenty 24/7 and complains about how the world is a terrible place and he could make so many changes to life if he had money but does not want to work to do anything (pretty much the homeless person mentality)

12. is a blunt rolling n00b but blames it on the cigarillos and shit

13. leaves his paraphernalia out in the main room at all times even though we have maids that come by.

14. he is completely set in his ways and talks down to everyone like he is the man even though hes 5'6 90 pounds soaking wet and im 6'1 200 pounds and could dwarf toss him through a fucking wall if i had no consequences

15.he brings a semi attarctive girl around that has a boyfriend and he smokes her up and makes them dinner and then she leaves and he gets none of that ass.

I could go all day but this douche is a stage 5 chode and I havent found a new place to live yet and would also have to worry about trying to sublease this place under the condition that any damages done by the subleaser would be out of my pocket ( its in the contract) also i want to transfer to NC State next semester so it wouldnt be worth the trouble really.

Cliffs*
- one roomate is a wigger conspiracy theorist/ speech impediment rapper with a big mouth and little body
- i pretty much have no way out of the lease

so if he doesn't work, how does he pay the rent? Kick his ass out at your earliest convenience if he isn't paying

So you're rooming with stackinsideways?

 

Originally Posted by undertheradar

so if he doesn't work, how does he pay the rent? Kick his ass out at your earliest convenience if he isn't paying

his parents pay rent

studio apartments ftw.

 

Originally Posted by Jaybone2315

My roomate freshman year was addicted to Oxis and we selling coke. But because he was getting high of his own supply, he couldnt pay his coke supplier so he took my debit card and stole money from me.

Im sure other people had it much worse tho.

i could only wish he would do some fucked up shit like that to me so i could excuse violent behavior. he can take my debit card.. theft protection ftw

lol, i had a roomate really similar to yours. Kid i was friends with in the dorms freshman year. my roomate from freshman year was on a track team and decided to move in with a track kid for some reason. My gf at the time was on a scholarship and had to live in the dorms sophmore year as well. So i didnt have much of an option. Plus we were really similar. We both got high a lot, love madden/video games in general, were pretty relax kids ect. My only concern was he went thru 2 or 3 roomates at the dorms, cuz he just doesnt get along with like anyone.

So we move in, everything was cool for like 7 months. Wierd thing was his parents are LOADED, his dad is the CEO of some big investment firm in KC. But somehow this kid never had money, and his parents wouldn't give him shit i guess. He was rarely dead flat broke, but any time he had spare money hed buy weed.

This kid also thought he was some great rapper, and had a bunch of friends that thought the same. Some were actually ok, and even have some cds out now, but still just underground BS. He decided to build a studio in our basement. He had this older friend that was real handy that came by and built it from scratch for us, it was actually pretty tight after it was done. Id get high and go fuck around makin some beats, a few were decent.

anways..

So every once in while hed ask for 50 bucks here for weed, i think i paid for the supplies to build the studio, and i paid for an external hardrive to save their music on, 100 bucks because his phone got shut off, just random shit over a few month period that totaled prob 1k-1500. He had a job and his parents did give him money every once in a while i assumed, so i knew id get it back, just might take a while, plus if i didnt loan him money for weed, hed just smoke all mine anyway, and he smoked like an 8th a day minimum, so might as well have him owe me than just smoke him up every day for free


Well outa nowhere he just started being a little bitch. Kid would get real moody and you could tell when you should just leave him alone and i always did. But it lasted for like 4 or 6 weeks. We pretty much just didn't talk forever and i really had no clue why and didnt really care. at that point he was pissing me off all the time.

One day im studying for a final in my room, and he comes home and starts playing his drums. I go downstairs and politely ask to stop because im studying, he gets all pissy and tells me to fuck off. At this point we go at it verbally, and i pretty much just call him out on being a scrub and having a vagina with no real goals in life. I could tell he wanted to fight, but a few times when drunk we play fight/wrested, and he knew if there was any advantage it was mine. We were both like 5 10, 125 lbs, but i had a little more strength.

My sister wasnt going to live in her place for the summer, so i decided to just take her room in her house for the summer so i wouldnt have to deal with this kid. I dont mention anything to him, just move all my shit out one day but my bed, a dresser, and something else, i forget.

Kid goes apeshit and smashes it all and sends me a picture saying "youre next" lol. I ended up talkin to his parents because they knew he was a little off and did some fucked up shit, they said theyd pay me back all the money he owed and pay for my broken stuff, but then a few weeks later they recinded their offer, im assuming he made up some story about me fucking him over or something idk. They ended up saying they would pay me 1k, but i said no, but unfortunately after talking to a lawyer with no real proof of me paying him money, since it was like 90% in cash, he said i prob wouldnt get shit, and then they didnt pay me the 1k anyway.

so i pretty much ate like 1500-2kish plus my 3 months rent.

best part was kid hit me up like 6 months later on aim and i ignored him, and he said, "damn you a cold mother fucker" lol


yea yea yea, tl;dr

 

Originally Posted by Jaybone2315

My roomate freshman year was addicted to Oxis and we selling coke. But because he was getting high of his own supply, he couldnt pay his coke supplier so he took my debit card and stole money from me.

Im sure other people had it much worse tho.

You let a coke-dealing oxi-addict know your debit card PIN? wat?

I used to live with 2 friends of mine but they god damn they were the worst roommates. They both were so messy just leaving shit everywhere. All the time I would come home from work and see pizza boxes left open with food in it just sitting on the table along with wings or other to-go food in foam boxes. I would clean up all the time even cleaning their shit when they're not around for me to tell them to do it.

Then the trash can... We had the trash can in the kitchen up against one of the counters. These motherfuckers would fill it up so high out of the actual bin so that they were strategically balancing pieces of trash on top of each other so that they don't have to say its full and actually change the bag. Obviously on numerous occasions trash would just fall out of it untouched. Eventually I got them to start closing the bags and putting new ones in... Just to see them walk the bag by the front door then leave it there. For days.

The same logic was used for the coffee table. This one time I saw soda cans stacked on top of each other on the table so I asked why my friend whats up with that. He says it actually saves room instead of putting them next to each other. My head nearly exploded and I said you can save even more with the trash can.

I don't live with them anymore but one of my friends visited them recently and told me they're place is super messy cause they don't have a trash can. Apparently their bin got dirty and threw it away and haven't replaced it with no intentions of it either. One of them is a jew fwiw.

 

Originally Posted by BigEarn7

I've had a ton of roommates, mostly from hockey and such and living with billet families. The worst roomie I ever had was my second year of college after I transferred schools (so first year at new school). He would never clean up after himself or wash/do his dishes, he was so spoiled that he never had to do this at home so he just wouldn't do it when we lived together. I called him out on it one day so what does he do? He goes home and brings back a huge fucking box of brand new dishes... I didn't even know wtf to say. I don't talk to him anymore and we were actually pretty good buddies before living together.

Good thing he had his mommy and daddy pay for all his shit. that will def go along way for him when he gets out of school

 

Originally Posted by TheSteve

[Blah blah blah]. One of them is a jew fwiw.

Way to take a perfectly nice post about your roommates being messy douchebags and make it about you being a racist.

Wasn't meant to be racist at all considering he's one of my good friends. The op said his roommate was a jew so I was just stating the same.

 

Originally Posted by Tarvin

Way to take a perfectly nice post about your roommates being messy douchebags and make it about you being a racist.

Yup. The reference in OP at least helped us with the mental image he was painting

Why even say he was jewish? If he was Catholic would you have said that?

because I secretly am a huge racist and had a slip up while typing but you detectives got me... or I know it didn't mean anything but forgot that ot dissects every post. Whatever works