I already heard that one you fucking unoriginal bastard

I wonder how many ppl are reading this thread wondering wtf some of these random lines are all about.

Loved that cd.

 

Originally Posted by Popperhead

I already heard that one you fucking unoriginal bastard

I loved that bit.

 

Originally Posted by Popperhead

I already heard that one you fucking unoriginal bastard

I thought it was "I already heard that one you unoriginal repeating piece of shit" unless this isn't a Tollbooth Willy quote. If so then disregard.

 

Originally Posted by Randinho

I thought it was "I already heard that one you unoriginal repeating piece of shit" unless this isn't a Tollbooth Willy quote. If so then disregard.

I already heard that one you unoriginal bastard go Suck a cock your piece of repeatin shit

Good luck in the interview bigern

Why tell that story anonymously? Its not like you fucked your cousin after the interview

Confession:

So last week i was driving home from the casino and my car went to shit. Something blew up under the hood and it started making a loud banging noise. My car is about 10 years old and only worth about $5k, but i do have full coverage on it. In this split second i realize my car is now worth its scrap price, and it will prob cost me at least $1,500 or more to fix. So i put my seat belt on, and swerved my car into a big ass tree at about 35mph, just narrowly avoiding the gray cat but unfortunately losing control of the car.

Just met with the adjuster at my local body shop. SHIP IT! Car is totaled, check for $5,450 going in the bank tomorrow. I don't know why, but as i was turning into the tree i was picturing leftymark applauding and cheering me on like a proud father.

lol it was probably just the fan belt

That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Would have been funnier if you got paralyzed.

Confession:

I'm fairly sure I played a large part in ruining my friend's life. A little preface: I came from a pretty poor family, single mom, grew up in a shitty apt, etc. I've been hanging out with this one friend for a good 10+ years, I honestly consider(ed) him one of my closest friends. About a year ago, he and I had started to get into a few fights; it was mostly over dumb shit but it always sort of left a bad taste in your mouth. Whenever we'd go out drinking, there'd be an inevitable argument, followed by some personal insults, but like clockwork it was always all good the next day. But some of the things he was saying were really starting to piss me off. I guess it didn't help that he was the spoiled brat out of our crew that always had everything taken care of by his ballin, yet insanely controlling parents.

One night, we're at a pretty packed house party get into an argument. It gets more and more heated, and eventually a crowd (including lots of hot girls) start observing. I keep trying to defuse the argument, but he's relentless, and eventually he goes there, started calling me things like trailer trash and making fun of my mom, saying things how she couldn't afford to feed us and we were on food stamps (both of which werent true). For some reason, everyone started cracking up laughing at me, and I was furious and turned bright red. I stumbled and didn't really have a comeback, so to everyone it appeared he had destroyed me in the argument. But I would laugh last.

I told everyone I was "going to get some pizza" at the place down the street. Which I was planning to do, until I saw two cops parked on the street nearby. Still steaming from the things that asshole said in front of the whole party, I walked up and had a few words with them. I said that there's a guy in a blue acura parked up the street, whos drunk as hell and not letting anyone take his keys from him. I told the cops I was pretty sure he was going to drive home, and he was dangerously drunk. I told them where the party was (it was right near a block of bars), they said they'll keep an eye out and I went on my way.

Sure as hell, my friend leaves fairly drunk to drive home that night, and on his way gets pulled over and nailed for a DUI. What I didn't know was that he had a bunch of percs and coke in his car, and the coke was bagged up too, so they got him for all that. He lost his high paying job, appeared in the paper and humiliated his parents, and ended up doing like 6 months in jail along with probation, rehab and thousands in legal fees. I've never told anyone about this, and the funny thing is we're still kind of cool to this day.

Oh well, that's what happens when you decide to make fun of my family and drive drunk.

Hopefully for last guys sake he doesn't believe in Karma. If so he's fucked

some punk azz bitches up in here. guess we know who ratted out ess too.

 

Originally Posted by Glo4m

Confession:

I'm fairly sure I played a large part in ruining my friend's life. A little preface: I came from a pretty poor family, single mom, grew up in a shitty apt, etc. I've been hanging out with this one friend for a good 10+ years, I honestly consider(ed) him one of my closest friends. About a year ago, he and I had started to get into a few fights; it was mostly over dumb shit but it always sort of left a bad taste in your mouth. Whenever we'd go out drinking, there'd be an inevitable argument, followed by some personal insults, but like clockwork it was always all good the next day. But some of the things he was saying were really starting to piss me off. I guess it didn't help that he was the spoiled brat out of our crew that always had everything taken care of by his ballin, yet insanely controlling parents.

One night, we're at a pretty packed house party get into an argument. It gets more and more heated, and eventually a crowd (including lots of hot girls) start observing. I keep trying to defuse the argument, but he's relentless, and eventually he goes there, started calling me things like trailer trash and making fun of my mom, saying things how she couldn't afford to feed us and we were on food stamps (both of which werent true). For some reason, everyone started cracking up laughing at me, and I was furious and turned bright red. I stumbled and didn't really have a comeback, so to everyone it appeared he had destroyed me in the argument. But I would laugh last.

I told everyone I was "going to get some pizza" at the place down the street. Which I was planning to do, until I saw two cops parked on the street nearby. Still steaming from the things that asshole said in front of the whole party, I walked up and had a few words with them. I said that there's a guy in a blue acura parked up the street, whos drunk as hell and not letting anyone take his keys from him. I told the cops I was pretty sure he was going to drive home, and he was dangerously drunk. I told them where the party was (it was right near a block of bars), they said they'll keep an eye out and I went on my way.

Sure as hell, my friend leaves fairly drunk to drive home that night, and on his way gets pulled over and nailed for a DUI. What I didn't know was that he had a bunch of percs and coke in his car, and the coke was bagged up too, so they got him for all that. He lost his high paying job, appeared in the paper and humiliated his parents, and ended up doing like 6 months in jail along with probation, rehab and thousands in legal fees. I've never told anyone about this, and the funny thing is we're still kind of cool to this day.

Oh well, that's what happens when you decide to make fun of my family and drive drunk.

It's cool. You redeemed yourself when you paid those cops off so he wouldn't get in trouble

Confession:



I banged my good friend's wife. As if that's not bad enough, he's decorated cop, and it was while he was away for a week on some training exercise. Even while he was dating his wife I knew she wanted to fuck me, she was always real flirty...you just got that vibe, to the point where her husband called her out for it. So he gets deployed and I run into his wife with a few friends at a party one night. She was kind of drunk, but all over me. Obviously I didn't do anything at the time, and just kind of forgot about it. Then a week alter she starts texting me a whole bunch of random shit, little dumb jokes, pictures of a hammock she set up in their yard, asking me random questions. I think none of it. Then she starts texting me pics...not like slutty pics just random pictures of her which was weird. At this point I mostly just fapped to the idea of banging her, never really thinking I'd go through with it.

Then, one Sunday she texts me that she found some stuff that her husband borrowed a while back...video games, DVD's etc. She also asks if I could move something for her when I come over and pick them up. At this point I'm pretty aware of what could happen if I go over there. His wife isnt even attractive, but something about a girl who just wants to fuck the shit out of you, and you not being supposed to do it, just makes it enticing. I debate for an hour and say "fuck it" and drive over. Obv I walk in and she's in a tight tank top, shorts and yep, all the sudden I got a full blown rager and a debate inside about what to do. I grab my shit, help her move her drawer, and decide to sit down and have a beer when she offers. She's making really strong eye contact, and we're sitting failry close on the couch. Those moments (right before I fucked her) were some of the most intense and conflict filled of my life. I literally felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. She's repeatedly thanking me for my help moving the drawer (even thought it took like 5 minutes) and I know I've got this if I want it. So finally I say to myself "You know what, fuck the police" and make my move. All the sudden we were in the bedroom, tearing each others clothes off and its on.

This guy's wife isnt even really hot, but jesus christ the sex was mind blowing. I think it's the whole "forbidden aspect" of it, I completely destroyed that shit across an array of positions and blew a masssssive load inside her, raw dog, before collapsing in a sweaty heap on the bed. We just kind of laid there, stunned for a few minutes thinking about what we had done, before she just starts to get dressed like it ain't no thing, and casually says "You know we can never tell anyone about this right?"

I gotta admit, I left that house feeling like a huge scumbag. I still feel like a scumbag. But I'll be damned if that wasn't the best sex I've ever had. No one has a clue, and we've never said a word to anyone. I fap to the memories of that encounter regularly. It's still one of my "go-to" pieces of material for jackin it.

Fuck the police.