'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the night,
Jasmith85 wasted time on OT, "I have no life!"
The stockings were hung by the chimney, ho hum
In hopes that St. Nick's fat ass would soon come

oBOBCATu was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of children danced in his head
And while surfing and drinking, I was bored as junk,
I took one last sip, then passed out drunk.

When out on the lawn, there were moans and such,
I was awoken from the barking of my one-eyed mutt
I jumped up quickly and turned off the radio,
Walked to the door and stepped in a bowl of Spaghettios.

And what to my mutt's wondering eye should appear,
But OT's own Gambowler, that homo, that fag, that queer.
As he adjusted his cone tities, I adjusted my contact lens,
"I'm here for the party. I saw the sign ATTN GHEY MENZ."

oBOB peeked from his room, "Did Santa bring me boys?"
"Shutup, BOB", I said, "Or you won't get any toys."
Holy shit, I forgot. The OT party's tonight.
I need to clean up, this place wasn't a pleasant sight.

A few hours later, the party was popping,
OTers were drinking, partying and dropping.
Wein had material for his highest replied post in some time,
The post's replies? It had 9.

Everybody was enjoying themselves, when I heard turned around
And heard the knocker on my door make another sound
I stepped over Mr.Blonde, who was passed out from caffeine(not alcohol)
While drunk ass Buckinator picked a fight with the wall.

"Nice knocker", said Action Jeff, mine's made of brass.
"That might explain", I said, "why you don't get any ass."
"Very funny," he said. "But I have the last laugh..
Because last night, I slept with your dad."

"Merry Christmas everyone!", Amymarie1967 screamed.
"Who brought the chips? I've got homemade sour cream!"

In walked Gank, that crazy pompous pig.
"I PWN IN P5's, NOW YOU ALL SUCK MY DICK!"

In the back room, Hyacinthgirl got pregnant again.
How many is that now? 8? 9? Maybe 10?
Who's the daddy? I knew from the start.
I'm not naming any names-- Cough, cough, Bert.

Another hour later, again I answered the door.
In my presence, stood my one and only Lord.
"Your Lord, Saviour, the Son of Christ is here..
Now where are the bitches? There had better be some beer!"

"Oh my Dad!," Jesus exclaimed.
"Smirnoff Ice? This is why I came!"

Who let in the ugly guy? This is what I feared.
You can find that ugly mug pictured here. (http://www.pocketfives.com/B37375FE-...666D821BC.aspx)

Jesus pissed in a cup as he toked on his bud.
"Hey Trafficking! Drink this, for this is my blood!"
He pulled down his pants, that boy is naughty,
"Hey GBMantis! Eat this, for this is my body!"

Murderer showed up with a girl and a gay,
To make himself more available, he started swinging both ways.
Murderer's a nut, what can I do?
He spent the rest of the night making out with oBOBCATu

Seykota told stories as her eyes glistened.
But it was so boring that nobody listened.

Chocothunder puffed out his chest, guarding the door,
While Zee7 and Gamaitec made out on the floor.
Flashover spoke up, holding up money.
"I bet Zee writes a post about this-- and it won't be funny."

Mhoddi came in, not too friendly.
"I need to drop a yuletide log down the porcelain chimney"

Presents were traded, so was food.
I got nothing, which I found somewhat crude.
OMG_LOL_WTF got an plastic wowswift vagina, but he didn't know what to do.
But it's okay. SaulGood can show him because he got one too.

Utterzcar isnt a czar, that lying prick.
Lenny didn't show up, the self absorbed dick.
that Pope told interesting stories, Xmas32 fucked and cussed.
Jet Jet Jet showed up, but nobody knew who he was.

All of a sudden, Santa bust through the wall.
''OHH YEAH!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!"

"Merry Christmas, Santa", I said as he lingered.
His rosy cheeks turned redder as he gave me the finger.
His eyes glazed over. Folks, Santa had lost it.
"I prefer 'Happy Holidays', he said. Santa was agnostic.

Jesus was near and heard him say this.
"Dad damnit!", spewed Jesus. "Now I'm pissed."
"You want some?", asked Santa. "You stupid ass jew."
"Bring it", responded Jesus. "I'll rapture all over you."

Jesus and Santa fought all over the place.
In the end, Jesus raptured Santa's face.
Kris Kringle, sighing, jumped in his sleigh.
The only one to leave the party without getting laid.

"Now Dasher, now Dancer, Now prancer and the rest!
Now Hawkhill and Dedheadsteve, and Seal and MBus28!
Santa forgot the reindeers' names or so it seemed.
But it doesn't really matter, he was smashed off Jim Beam.

Agriffrod read poems, Bmac entertained,
While wowswift and Thorladen tried to explain the stain.
"It's mayonnaise", they both sweared.
The blue dress on wowswift was fixed with all stares.

FlyersGuy, Mr. Blonde, Clizzark I don't remember.
But I figured I'd mention them, because, hell, it's December.
ISuck123 showed everyone how their brag posts should be modeled.
In the meantime, misterizx was hit with a bottle.

After the party, 1.21Gigawatts was met with his fate.
The girl he took home, he had to inflate.

BGX showed up, NickyPrice and Octan could be found.
But 55AllIn55 couldn't make it, for he's in the pound.
Victimitis, Daddypoe, SluggerWV all made it!
rivermonkey didn't show up, for almost everyone there she dated.

Riverkiller, Fitz420, both danced with WhiteAlRoker.
While Jehricoholic and 2 Guns Up argued pointlessly with eachother.

If you don't understand this poem, I feel sorry for you,
For that means that you are nothing but a mere newb.
This party will be remembered by one and all,
but mostly for turning franktank back to alcohol

If I forgot to mention you, I don't care, your name isn't worth a dime.
You can write your own poem and mention your name a million times.

Santa finally recovered enough to guide the sleigh,
As he flew off, you could hear him say--

"Merry Christmas my ass, you can all go to hell!
Ho Ho Ho Ho! ROFL!!11"

-Jasmith85

Shut up 2 guns, you stupid mother whoreface!

one of these days ill write a sonnet...

hi

<span>:(</span>

lol, didn't click the link...

dude, are you trying to take over giga's title as hardest working mang in the OT business?

nice damn work!

LOL i had an idea for this like a month ago but couldnt come up with anything so i blew it off then i was bored at work today and it just came to me like a flash of brilliance :)

so you let out the dirty secret about me, Fitz420 and WAR? I mangina...WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

funny stuff jasmith!

i'll have you know i dont drink coffee and im a rum bum

ty

nice poem btw

I loved it. Simply amazing.

And who was the girl with her arm around Mike Matasow in the picture? (2nd time in 8 months I've used that joke)

lol jasmith put this in submitted articles lol

LOL They never accept my articles, one day i will break through that barrier :(

I did it just to let the mods know that were on to them, we know we are being mistreated and if further mistreatment ensues I will be forced to seek legal representation to protect us from OT/P5's discrimination.

I agree.