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problems with psychotic ex/custody issues

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  1. LockedUpLifer LockedUpLifer is offline

    Cincinnati, OH
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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 10:54am)

    I have a 3 year old son, my ex and I have been apart for close to a year.She has sole custody and I have 2 visits throughout the week plus 1 weekend night. a few weeks ago I get an officer dropping off an EPO(emergency protective order) and saying I have to be in court regarding custody issues. EPO basically says no furthur acts of violence and supervised visits with child.

    Im just baffled as to why I have this. She doesnt talk to me for the whole week let me have our son etc even though the order says my visits are to remain intact but supervised by my parents or another family member. We go to court and basically she says she has evidence that Im dangerous for our son to be around that Ive abused all this other bull shit.

    it gets continued as they usually do and we have a hearing in a few weeks basically to determine if my visits need to be supervised for good or even taken altogether.

    I am really looking for some help on this matter, anyone thats gone through the whole custody bull shit and ex's trying to get all the power with the child just to be a bitch.Ive never hurt my son in anyway I love him more than anything in the world. for those that have kids you would know how I feel. Ive got a lawyer ready now because she is not gonna get the best of me. What can I do/say to make her look as bad as possible in this and turn this whole thing around? anything will help thank you.
  2. normlfella normlfella is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 11:12am) in reply to LockedUpLifer

    PM BuchiYAYO
  3. xxACES UPxx xxACES UPxx is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 11:14am) in reply to normlfella

    posting half naked pics of her here may be a start
  4. sponge1430 sponge1430 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 11:18am) in reply to xxACES UPxx

    I would start with the truth and stick with the truth. Let the lawyer lawyer and the judge judge. Be civil to the ex, especially when the kiddo is around. Make sure you can rest every night knowing you did the best you could for your child. Nothing to flip around on the other person. Just be the best dad you can....your child will understand one day. Good luck.
  5. freeworld777 freeworld777 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 11:21am) in reply to LockedUpLifer

    I remember you posting about this recently and i feel sorry for you, someone in my family is still going through someting similar, the difference being he is trying to get sole custody because the mother of his kids is a phsyco.

    I dont know anything about the law over there but if there is zero evidence to support her claim and she is blatantly lying then perhaps you may be able to get a court order to make her have a phsycological evaluation?

    You mentioned before that she's a drinker - I don't know what your personal circumstances are but have you thought about fighting for full custody?
  6. ECUgirl ECUgirl is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 11:22am) in reply to LockedUpLifer

    Here's an idea--stop beating up women? Witnessing domestic violence is just as detrimental to kids as being violent toward them yourself. Just FYI.
  7. freeworld777 freeworld777 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:13pm) in reply to ECUgirl

    where did it say he beat her up?
  8. ECUgirl ECUgirl is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:20pm) in reply to freeworld777

    a few weeks ago I get an officer dropping off an EPO(emergency protective order) and saying I have to be in court regarding custody issues. EPO basically says no furthur acts of violence and supervised visits with child.
    Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like he's been violent in some way? Otherwise, why would there be an EPO? I know he says he hasn't hurt his kid, but what about the mother? I could've read it wrong. If that's the case, my apologies to OP. I'm a little sensitive about this issue.
  9. Berry-um Berry-um is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:21pm) in reply to freeworld777

    DOCUMENTATION! I went through a divorce (with children) but it wasn't ugly like this. Personally you should go for sole custody or at the very minimum joint. Go for custody and the court will hire a GAL or a CASA and determine for the court what's the best interest of the child.

    GL man!
  10. DBo Fo Sho DBo Fo Sho is online now Taking advantage of Official Threads

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:22pm) in reply to Berry-um

    gonna need pics to know how to proceed further
  11. sean614 sean614 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:25pm) in reply to ECUgirl

  12. freeworld777 freeworld777 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:26pm) in reply to ECUgirl

     
    Originally Posted by ecugirl93 View Post

    a few weeks ago I get an officer dropping off an EPO(emergency protective order) and saying I have to be in court regarding custody issues. EPO basically says no furthur acts of violence and supervised visits with child.
    Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like he's been violent in some way? Otherwise, why would there be an EPO? I know he says he hasn't hurt his kid, but what about the mother? I could've read it wrong. If that's the case, my apologies to OP. I'm a little sensitive about this issue.

    yeah but with tone and the title of the thread, the impression I got was that she's making false claims about this. Perhaps OP will correct me/confirm.
  13. ECUgirl ECUgirl is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:29pm) in reply to freeworld777

    Yes, I'd like some clarification, too. However, that being said, no abuser is ever going to admit it. They all think they're nice guys. Trust me on this one.
  14. acp acp is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:30pm) in reply to freeworld777

    He said the Order is bullshit in the OP, that is the point of the thread
  15. freeworld777 freeworld777 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:34pm) in reply to ECUgirl

     
    Originally Posted by ecugirl93 View Post

    Yes, I'd like some clarification, too. However, that being said, no abuser is ever going to admit it. They all think they're nice guys. Trust me on this one.

    Yeah but its pretty common for women in these situations to make bullshit claims about ex partners. I've seen it happen to two people I know and in both cases there wasn't a shred of doubt that the woman was lieing, and yes it all came out in the wash eventually that they were full of shit.
  16. ECUgirl ECUgirl is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:39pm) in reply to freeworld777

    While I disagree that it's "common for women to make bullshit claims", it's a difficult situation, for sure. It's a shame that a woman would ever lie about something like this, because it results in women/children who are legitimately being abused having their word called into question. What further complicates matters is that most abusers are very manipulative and can behave like the nicest guys in the world around others, but are monsters in the privacy of their own homes. Most of the time, their close friends, family and business associates don't believe the allegations, because "he's such a nice guy" and they've never witnessed him behaving abusively.
  17. sponge1430 sponge1430 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 12:50pm) in reply to freeworld777

    I think it is a little over the top to assume that he is abusing her or abused her in the past.
  18. YouAreWet YouAreWet is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 1:00pm) in reply to ECUgirl

     
    Originally Posted by ecugirl93 View Post

    While I disagree that it's "common for women to make bullshit claims", it's a difficult situation, for sure. It's a shame that a woman would ever lie about something like this, because it results in women/children who are legitimately being abused having their word called into question. What further complicates matters is that most abusers are very manipulative and can behave like the nicest guys in the world around others, but are monsters in the privacy of their own homes. Most of the time, their close friends, family and business associates don't believe the allegations, because "he's such a nice guy" and they've never witnessed him behaving abusively.

    Denial!
  19. ECUgirl ECUgirl is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 1:11pm) in reply to sponge1430

     
    Originally Posted by sponge1430 View Post

    I think it is a little over the top to assume that he is abusing her or abused her in the past.

    I certainly hope not. I don't see him coming in here to clear that up, though. Like I said, I'm a bit sensitive about this issue, so take that into consideration when reading my comments. Something about his comments sound similiar to excuses I've heard before from someone who definitely had a problem with anger and being abusive.
  20. skeeze666 skeeze666 is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 1:24pm) in reply to LockedUpLifer

    So the dude chose 'lockeduplifer' as his screen name and we're supposed to give him the benefit of the doubt on this particular issue? I don't know what the fuck happened, but that doesn't make me want to jump to his automatic defense.
  21. dealace1 dealace1 is offline @ UFC 115 via UB

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 1:44pm) in reply to LockedUpLifer

     
    Originally Posted by LockedUpLifer View Post

    What can I do/say to make her look as bad as possible in this and turn this whole thing around? anything will help thank you.

    You had me until this. I hope you soon realize that you love your child more then you hate your ex. There is no good way to put down the mother of your child. Show up at the court without an ax and you will do better. The judge needs to see maturity. Every kid should get to see their Dad. GL
  22. 2Slick4u 2Slick4u is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 1:55pm) in reply to dealace1

     
    Originally Posted by dealace1 View Post

    You had me until this. I hope you soon realize that you love your child more then you hate your ex. There is no good way to put down the mother of your child. Show up at the court without an ax and you will do better. The judge needs to see maturity. Every kid should get to see their Dad. GL

    ^^^^ You can't get a better answer than this. Take it to heart.
  23. LockedUpLifer LockedUpLifer is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 10:11pm) in reply to 2Slick4u

    I havent responded because Ive been out all day. Ive lost all hope in women and humanity after ECU's comments. Just totally inappropriate and unbelievable
    Thread Starter
  24. LockedUpLifer LockedUpLifer is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 10:14pm) in reply to LockedUpLifer

    what I mean as far as trying to get her is I need to put my foot down and just throw everything at her in court because this needs to stop now. I mean where does it end, he gets a little older starts riding a bike falls off it, goes home and I beat the shit out of him?? I mean it will never stop if I don't make her see she's going to get in a lot of trouble if she keeps pursuing these false claims and it only going to end up hurting our son in the long run.
    Thread Starter
  25. LockedUpLifer LockedUpLifer is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 10:24pm) in reply to LockedUpLifer

    do you have any idea what an EPO is and how easily it is to attain one anyone can get one with evidence of nothing. I could walk into a police station right now say I just picked up my kid and he had a small mark on his arm or face or something to that nature. Next day EPO is served to her, which is basically what was done.Its a protection in case something was going on. Continue to comment on peoples lives you know nothing about please.
    Thread Starter
  26. jokerswild jokerswild is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 10:28pm) in reply to freeworld777

    give the judge your P5's screen name to shed light
  27. Shaaarrrp Shaaarrrp is offline

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    Jan 6th, 2010 (1/6/2010 10:31pm) in reply to LockedUpLifer

    It is 100% common. Girls are, by and large, crazy and irrational.
     
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