Four Loko

I tried the Cranberry Lemonade flavor. I think I would have rather had a pigeon shit in my mouth like the dude from Kings of Leon than drink it. This stuff is absolutely horrid. I threw it away after one sip. When I picked it up, I thought it would be a nice, refreshing and energizing prelude to a bunch of beers on the lake. Unfortunately, it was just about as tasty as chilled sewage.

Chicken Fried Steak

Once upon a time, there was a brilliant motherfucker who liked steak. This dude wondered how his steak could be even more delicious, so he battered one up and deep-fried it. The world hasn't been the same since. Even shitty chicken fried steak is pretty awesome; it's like the blowjob of the food world.

Salsa in Texas

Pretty much all salsa not from New Mexico is shitty. I have had salsa all over the United States, and it's pretty unusual for it to be any good if it's not from the 505 (and 575 now). On rare occasion, I'll find some good salsa outside of NM. One of those rare occasions was at Herrera's in Dallas. Most salsa I encounter here is liquefied tomatoes and onions with a shit-ton of cilantro or oregano or whatever other green crap idiots put in it. Salsa should cause your face-hole significant spicy pain mixed with delightful flavor. In Texas (and most everywhere else) it disappoints.

Pennies

When I was a small child, I liked pennies. You could buy gum with them and they had their own unique flavor if you didn't have any gum. Now they're a nuisance. I don't use cash most of the time, but it seems like I still manage to accumulate thousands of pennies every month in change made. How the fuck does this happen? Another thing that sucks is that if I knock over a bucket full of pennies, the time and effort associated with cleaning them up has more value than the pennies themselves. Fuck pennies.

Allen Wrenches

I like them. Some people call them "key wrenches" or "hex-key wrenches". Those people are fools.

Vuvuzela horns

People all over the world wonder why soccer isn't popular in America. I think these stupid fucking things might be a big part of the reason. It should be legal to beat someone to death in the event that they blow one of these horns in your presence. If sports could have diseases, steroids would be herpes and vuvuzelas would be stage four ass cancer.

Ive never heard of chicken fried steak before. Intrigued I am.

 

Originally Posted by theredbaron

Ive never heard of chicken fried steak before. Intrigued I am.

god damn canada sucks

 

Originally Posted by theredbaron

Ive never heard of chicken fried steak before. Intrigued I am.

How is that possible? People from Canada must miss out on a lot. It's a staple at all the "home cooking" places in the midwest.

Do know what frog gigging is?

And great analysis as always El Burro.

Thank the maker these threads are back. I love them so. Pure awesomeness.

Are you seriously serious? Chicken-fried steak with sausage gravy from Shoney's is the equivalent of God coming down from heaven and shooting a load down your throat. You can't help but love it. So it is written, So it shall be.

 

Originally Posted by theredbaron

Ive never heard of chicken fried steak before. Intrigued I am.

 

Originally Posted by XXEDPXX

god damn canada sucks

This pretty much seals it.

I used to suck on fifty-cent pieces. I would jam one into the roof of my mouth and then set another one on my tongue and make a loud clacking noise like my favorite game, Mr. Mouth, which was sometimes given away as a bucket #1 prize on Bozo's Circus.

I'm pretty sure product reviews would do awesome as its own blog. And hell, if Stuff White People Like can be published as a book maybe this can too.

Also, I've never had chicken fried steak even though its on most pub/family dining establishments menus around here. I have no explanation as to why and think I'll get it next time I see it.

And as someone who worked as a cashier in a mall food court for a year I agree that pennis should be banished as currency. Nothing tilted me more than somebody getting $x.x4 in change.

 

Originally Posted by Stynsty71

"Once upon a time, there was a brilliant motherfucker who liked steak. This dude wondered how his steak could be even more delicious, so he battered one up and deep-fried it. The world hasn't been the same since. Even shitty chicken fried steak is pretty awesome; it's like the blowjob of the food world."


If I ever open a restaurant I would like to use this on my menu.

Obv royalties would be involved.

The only thing that I would like better than reading 'motherfucker' on a restaurant menu would be to be the motherfucker receiving royalties for it.

Three things...
1. How can people have never heard of chicken fried steak?

2. Pennies really are pointless. Something should be done about them. I feel like there's a solution that would stimulate the economy.

3. I don't like salsa. What I do like? Chili's tortilla chips. Have them with salsa, don't have them with salsa. IDGAF. The chips are the fucking nuts. In fact, they probably deserve an EBPR (El Burro Product Review).

 

Originally Posted by marinersheep

What I do like? Chili's tortilla chips. Have them with salsa, don't have them with salsa. IDGAF. The chips are the fucking nuts. In fact, they probably deserve an EBPR (El Burro Product Review).

I have never taken note of Chili's chips on their own merit, but their queso is absurdly awesome. I'll plan to make a visit to Chili's between now and the next EBPR for evaluation of both and any synergetic qualities.

 

Originally Posted by marinersheep

Three things...
1. How can people have never heard of chicken fried steak?

2. Pennies really are pointless. Something should be done about them. I feel like there's a solution that would stimulate the economy.

3. I don't like salsa. What I do like? Chili's tortilla chips. Have them with salsa, don't have them with salsa. IDGAF. The chips are the fucking nuts. In fact, they probably deserve an EBPR (El Burro Product Review).

Get the queso dip from chili's, it si the absolute nuts.

wow @ ppl never having chicken fried steak

I got some pennies as change at Wawa the other day. One of them was dated 2010. I facepalmed for about 3 1/2 minutes.

Whole wheat pasta would be a good review. A couple of friends and I just got into it over this one. You can be the tie breaker, El B. Babe's chicken fried steak is A++.