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Question for parents

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  1. rain_k rain_k is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:10pm)

    What do you think about this situation?

    My sister was babysitting for me and my four year old son threw a dvd across the room. It flew like a frisbee and hit her four year old daughter in the eye.

    My niece now has a scratch across the surface of her eyeball. She went to the doctor who sent her to the optometrist. Her eyeball is definitely injured -- red, scratched, and uncomfortable. They are observing her for the next few days to make sure she doesn't get an infection or complications.

    I know without a doubt that my son did not hurt her intentionally. My sister believes that he did it on purpose.

    I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do. I feel terrible that my niece is hurt and will do what I can to make sure she gets better, but my sister (and now my mother) are both angry with me that I've "spoiled" my son to the point that he behaves like this w/o being punished.

    I see this as an accident and they do not. I don't know what I can say or do to make the situation better.
  2. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:11pm) in reply to rain_k

    wow...that is too weird...I just posted a "to spank or not to spank thread".
  3. rain_k rain_k is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:12pm) in reply to MissBecky

    I saw that. lol.

    My sister spanked my son. I am not happy about that.
    Thread Starter
  4. Realbigfish4 Realbigfish4 is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:15pm) in reply to rain_k

    you should obvocado throw a dvd at your sister
  5. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:16pm) in reply to rain_k

    I believe at 4 years of age kids don't intentionally mean to hurt other kids...but he def needs to be talked to and let it be known to him that throwing things is not acceptable and show him what the results of his throwing the dvd did to your sis's daughter. I would have been pissed if someone else spanked my kid w/o my permission....of course she is going to side with her child.
  6. Admiral Admiral is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:18pm) in reply to rain_k

    That is BS that she spanked your kid, she has been a parent long enough to know 4 year olds are not malicious and when there is unintentional horseplay that things like this will happen. You just need to talk to your son and makes sure he knows what he did is wrong,
  7. rain_k rain_k is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:18pm) in reply to Realbigfish4

    lol. Realbigfish4, you just made my day.
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  8. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:19pm) in reply to MissBecky

    Yeah I hope you told him what's up and to apologize and never do it again. I too would be super pissed if someone other than me or my wife gave my kid a spanking. Shit would hit the fan.
  9. Willywoo Willywoo is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:26pm) in reply to rain_k

    If a 4 year old threw a dvd across the room at her on purpose and it hit her that would be amazing. Get him a pitching coach first of all and second kids do weird stuff.

    Talk to him about. Tell your sister you talked to him about and explain that he now knows that throwing things at people or across the room is not acceptable behavior.

    If she is still mad, there is more to her anger than this incident.
  10. rain_k rain_k is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:27pm) in reply to LeftyMark

    He feels bad that she's hurt. Since I wasn't there, I'm not sure what kind of a connection was given to him at the time about being spanked = his throwing the DVD caused her injury.

    Right now he knows she's hurt and he's loving and gentle toward her. And he knows my sister is mad at him and that she hurt him. I'm not sure that her resolving it at the time by spanking him helped him to understand that he shouldn't throw DVDs.

    I will do all I can to stop him from throwing things, obviously, but it boggles my mind that she is holding a grudge that he did it on purpose.
    Thread Starter
  11. Unforseen Unforseen is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:28pm) in reply to rain_k

    If your sister was able to spank your son, you didn't handle the situation correctly
  12. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:31pm) in reply to Realbigfish4

    lol @ obvocado
  13. rain_k rain_k is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:33pm) in reply to Unforseen

    She was "able" to because I didn't imagine anything like that would ever happen. I trusted my sister to keep my children safe.

    I won't ask her to babysit anymore, but what's done is done. Since our children love to play together, I'd like to have some idea of how to handle things now.

    I've told her many times how terrible I feel that my niece is hurt and that I'll do anything I can to help, but I don't know what else I can do. I don't feel like I can apologize because it was an accident. I'm sorry she is hurt, but I'm not going to concede that my son meant to hurt her.
    Thread Starter
  14. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:37pm) in reply to rain_k

    It's all to still fresh right now...let things simmer down a bit and all will be okay...she's just thinking the worst about her daughters eye at the moment and wants to vent.
  15. yjbrewer yjbrewer is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 7:50pm) in reply to MissBecky

    Spare the rod not to spoil the child. He needs to be spanked. She is a parental figure and she should have spanked him since it was his aunt. That is where a lot of our kids are steered wrong now adays is bc peeps dont spank there kids. I am not saying abuse them but one-3 good licks on behind with hand should do.
  16. pace13 pace13 is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 8:24pm) in reply to yjbrewer

    I believe spanking is appropriate up until they have established values. Like a fav toy or something. after that spanking becomes less effective and sometimes makes things worse.

    Having someone OTHER that the biological parents spank a child is dangerous ground. I would establish with whoever is watching your kids the standard disciplinary actions (ie spanking ok or not). Leaving a mark on a child in any environment by anyone is inviting trouble, so best to just avoid it(yes often times even a mild spank leave a hand print).
  17. LDM LDM is offline

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    Aug 17th, 2007 (8/17/2007 10:05pm) in reply to rain_k

    4yr doesn't really know better IMO.

    i'd cuss my mom for taking sides, spank my sister, and pay my nieces bills
  18. Generaly Generaly is offline

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    Aug 18th, 2007 (8/18/2007 12:37am) in reply to LDM

    Tell your sister he doesnt throw shit when you watch him so its obv her fault.
  19. rjdixon619 rjdixon619 is offline

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    Aug 18th, 2007 (8/18/2007 1:45am) in reply to rain_k

    fuck it...ill be the bad guy. ur sister has no right to touch ur kid, she should prob catch a debilitating disease. Fuck ur mommy 2! mmmmmmmmaaaaaaaayyyyyyyybbbbbbbbbeeeeeee U should punish ur child! It don't matter if its an accident!!!!! Ur niece coulda lost an eye. I'm not saying whoop the boy but some form of punishment is in order! I mean, if i ACCIDENTLY run some poor bastard over while Im fucking around in a car......the judge aint gonna buy the accident defense.....i go str8 to jail. Ur kid does this at school and screws some kid up permanatly, ur gettin sued... WTF dont u understand pal, it was an accident but there must be a consenquence! Even 4 yr olds know right from wrong! Its pussy parents like u that raise future degenerate, puke, non consequence fearing diseases of society. I'm done and i'll GTFO......
  20. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Aug 18th, 2007 (8/18/2007 1:54am) in reply to rjdixon619

    Wow...where did that come from?
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