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R.I.P. Grandpa

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  1. dxnino dxnino is offline

    Cleveland, OH
    United States

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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 4:46pm)

    DeCARLO ANTHONY M. "Tony" DeCARLO, SR., age 89, beloved husband, of 63 years, to Eleanor (nee Dombrowski); father of Antoinette Svray (Gary), Linnette Lawwill (Robert) and Tony DeCarlo Jr. (Donna); grandfather of Gary Jr. (Debbie), Michelle (Frank), Bobby (Sue), Raymond (Stephanie), Crystal (Marc), Nino, Jillian and Ryan; great-grandfather of Corey, Mike, Josh, Bobby III, Vinnie, Makenna, Hailey, Nick, Bella and Clover; brother of the late Joseph, Theresa, Michael, Lucy, Ruth, Mary, Anne, Alice and Nicholas; uncle and great-uncle of many. W.W.II U.S. Army Veteran. Passed away April 16, 2011.


    now i haver to ask a question, ever since i got the news he was on his way out i kinda been just staying to myself, not really talking to anyone and really want to be left alone, is this normal??? i don't want my family thinking i don't care it's just the way i deal with things i guess. Just looking for a little advice. and thank you in advance
  2. cizastro cizastro is offline

    Tanzania, United Republic of

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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 4:48pm) in reply to dxnino

    GTFO

    J/k, yes that's normal. People grieve in different ways my friend. Some people like to talk it out, some people like to cry it out, some folks just like to have some time alone to reflect. There's nothing wrong with any style.

    Think of the good times you shared together.
  3. SpankyHamm SpankyHamm is offline

    Altamonte Springs, FL
    United States

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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 5:20pm) in reply to cizastro

    Sorry for your loss.

    I'm much the same way - kind of shut down emotionally. But you still need to be around the family (being there will be more important than what you do or what you say). People will want family around just because it makes them feel better. But I would talk to your mother or father about your feelings and they will probably be OK with you leaving early from different things.
     
  4. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

    MA
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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 5:26pm) in reply to SpankyHamm

    No pics of grandma?
  5. gamma21 gamma21 is offline

    Redlands, CA
    United States

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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 5:28pm) in reply to LeftyMark

    Sorry for your loss buddy. When I graduated from college I moved in with my grandpa to help take care of him as he didn't have much time left. It was one of the best decisions I ever made as I got to spend a ton of quality time with a great man. It's truly amazing how much you can learn from the greatest generation. I was there holding his hand when he took his last breath and I'm so glad he didn't have to leave this world alone. I know exactly how you feel and it will take a lot of time, but I assure you things get better. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep to yourself, but from my experience it helped to talk with other family members/close friends. RIP Anthony DeCarlo.
     
  6. wandigo wandigo is offline

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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 5:34pm) in reply to gamma21

    sorry for your loss OP, i've lost two grandpas and know how you're feeling. I liked to just keep to myself for a few weeks too, nothing wrong with that it's your natural reaction you shouldn't feel obligated to act any other way if it isn't natural.
     1
  7. poumi554 poumi554 is offline

    New Zealand

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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 10:05pm) in reply to wandigo

    Sorry to hear, just found out recently my Nana has cancer of Kidney and Lungs. Don't really know how long she has left, never lost anyone close to me, I think this will hit me pretty hard!
  8. Z-Fresh Z-Fresh is offline

    Encinitas, CA
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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 10:08pm) in reply to poumi554

    Sorry OP. I lost both of my grandfathers whom taught me how to play cards while watching them play their friends. To this day I still think about those good times. Best of luck. RIP.
  9. Seykota Seykota is offline

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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 10:08pm) in reply to Z-Fresh

    Sorry for your loss, DX.
  10. LVpokerdealer LVpokerdealer is offline

    Las Vegas, NV
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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 10:35pm) in reply to Seykota

    sorry for the loss, rip
  11. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 10:39pm) in reply to dxnino

    sorry for your loss. wanting to be alone is fine, but watch if it gets excessive. also, you may not feel like you want to be around the fam or need to be, but they might need to have you around. (assuming you all live near, etc) gl
  12. 2Slick4u 2Slick4u is offline

    Atlanta, GA
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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 10:50pm) in reply to dxnino

    Very sorry for your loss. I'm sure your grandad was a helluva man.

    I understand how you might want to just get off by yourself and deal with your loss. I may be wrong, but I think that's probably the way most men tend to deal with loss. However, I also think it's a man's job to be there for the family. Some of them may desperately need to draw strength from you.

    If you haven't already begun to realize it by this point in your life, there are situations when you have to rise above your own self-concerns and personal problems and help the people close to you when it's obvious they need it. Not tryin to bust your balls. Just suggesting if you're up to the task, it would be better to be with the family for this time of grieving for their comfort.


    Edit: What norcal said, sfobv beat me before I could finish typing my post.
    Edited By: 2Slick4u Apr 19th, 2011 at 10:52 PM
  13. ChocoThunder ChocoThunder is offline

    Lincoln, IL
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    Apr 19th, 2011 (4/19/2011 10:58pm) in reply to 2Slick4u

    No one deals with death well. Make sure you don't put yourself in front of your family as it hurts them just as much as it hurts you if not more.

    RIP
  14. dxnino dxnino is offline

    Cleveland, OH
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    Apr 20th, 2011 (4/20/2011 3:01am) in reply to ChocoThunder

    thanks everyone. i did the whole wake thing today which was pretty hard. tried to stay strong like suggested(very hard to do). but the burial is tomorrow so i'm sure it'll hit me hard. again thanks OT think i just need opinions.
    Thread Starter
  15. Mr323 Mr323 is offline

    Saratoga Springs, NY
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    Apr 20th, 2011 (4/20/2011 3:24am) in reply to dxnino

    RIP just remember what has already been said, your family might need you. Ask yourself what your grandpa would want you to do. Cheers to a long life, chin up OP!
    Edited By: Mr323 Apr 20th, 2011 at 03:25 AM
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