Are there any? Seriously, I've read every post on here about jokes,
so please don't just repost any old ones, although I would appreciate
a link to the oldest joke thread on OT from back in the day.
My son has to do 5 minutes of comedy soon and I only have a few.
Cue hyacinthgirl in 3...2.....1
What has four legs and is always ready to travel?
I'm watching Die Hard 3
What's black and white and red all over?? A newspaper.
What travels all over the world but stays in one corner?? A stamp.
What's the difference between your parents and your nose?? You can't pick your parents, but you can pick your nose.
Weeeee!!!! I just saw those! FINALLY! 3rd one was pretty goot. Speaking of that...you got any aspirins?
What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence? Time to get a new fence.
Why do Teddy Bear biscuits wear long trousers?
<DD>Because they've got crummy legs!
LOOOL! I heard this one from an 8 year old when I was a manager at Adidas.
Did you know that the Ancient Egyptians used rocks as pillows?
(I shook my head no)
Do you know how the Egpytians died out?
(Shook my head no again)
I admit...I lol'ed.
Here are some of the ones I saw in the thread a while ago
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married....the ceremony wasn't good but the reception was great
What do you get when you cross a mountain goat and a mountain climber?
Nothing, you can't cross two scalars
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
...yes I just saw Half Nelson
what did the mexican fireman name his sons, jose and hose-b
What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? HI CLIFF!
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
"Hey! Aren't you a little too young to be smoking?"
what do you call a chicken coop with four doors?
A CHICKEN SEDAN!!!!!!!!!!!
Why was the farmer so good at his job?
Because he's outstanding in his field.
just buy some Laffy Taffys
^^Best advice, taffy rules.
they have jokes on popsicles too
From my kids, aged 10 & 9, here, now.....
Whats a snakes fave school subject??? Hissssstory.
Where do fish keep their money? in the riverbank.
On a snakes car, how do the keep their windshield clean?? windshield vipers...
Where do fish borrow money?? Loan sharks
What does a whale eat with peanut butter?? Jellyfish
Ok, that was all I could take, hope they help
Why was '6' afraid of '7'? Because, 7, 8 (ate) 9 and 10
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
You're adopted and santa isn't real.
Saw it on a popsicle stick once.
So there is two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says "you drive, I'll man the guns".
Two antennas got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception was amazing.
what did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
can i hold your hand, hand, hand, hand,...etc
What type of movie does a pirate watch.
A rated Arhhhhhhhhhhh.
how do you protect your bagel?
put lox on it
Why did the girl mushroom like the boy mushroom?
He was a fun guy.
what did 0 say to 8