Sorry in advance for the long story, read the cliffs if you don't give a fuck, and in reality the title should probably be "not-so-hero move":

I live in a college town apartment, on a street in a row of college town apartments, on the ground floor. I go outside to smoke a cig 20 minutes ago (4 AM here) and these two girls (6/10--never seen before, 8/10--confirmed neighbor with whom I've never spoken but would hit fa sho) are sitting on the steps in front of the complex to my left, clearly drunk as fuck. After a minute I piece together that 8/10 lost her purse (including phone + keys) and the other girl's phone was dead. A cheap-ass monopolizing landlord owns half our city, so any key that will fit in the front door lock can turn it open. I said I had such a key and that I could let them in.

I go inside, get the key, open their front door and 8/10 literally jumps on me and bear hugs me with all fours (boobs confirmed squishy/excellent) for appx. 15 seconds. I said no problem and went to go back to my place and she goes no don't leave us! Clearly I'm not the type to turn down a threesome, so I stick around, and thank the Lord, their unit's door was locked too. I've recently had to break into my friend's apartment, and YouTubed videos of breaking in with 2 bobby pins and I'm pretty good at it (from this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnS6leHfB2c ) so I confidently tell them that if they have two bobby pins, I can pick their lock.

Unfortunately, they don't, so we're all just standing in this hallway (6/10 is sitting on the ground, actually) wondering what to do. 8/10 says "Just kick my door down, I've already had to pay $200 because some dumb bitch broke our bathroom door." I inform her that replacing the front doors on our complexes is like $500+ (true), and although I'd like to help, I wouldn't want her to have to pay that. I go back to my apartment but can't find any bobby pins behind my bed (guess I'm a loser) and can't even find any paper clips or similar to give it a half-assed effort. I return with this news, 6/10 is virtually passed out on the ground, 8/10 absolutely insists that she doesn't care about paying for the door and that she has just tried and cannot kick it down herself. I inform her that the door is quite solid, that I am wearing flippy floppies, and don't even know if I am strong enough to do it anyway. 1 floppy removal and 1 swift Hank Hill kick later, the door flies open. Upon inspection, the vertical section of the molding had simply come out in one piece along with its nails, and a small chunk (about 3 square inches) of the frame broke out from the deadbolt. I put that piece back in, pushed the molding back on and you can barely tell that anything happened. 6/10 goes to the bathroom, 8/10 hugs me, says thank you about 10 times, and then reels me in for a 20 second make-out. We say goodbye, I remind her that I'm just 1 porch over if she ever wants to come over and hang out, and I dip.

I'm only living in this apartment until August, so OT...what's my play? Do I wait for her to come over for x days and then go over there? Sit outside 10 hours a day? If she wasn't blacked out I'm pretty confident I could be hitting this. Lay some knowledge on me, O wise ones.

Cliffs:
-Drunk next door neighbor + friend can't get into apartment front door
-I let them in, but their unit's door is locked, and nothing to pick it with
-Kick door in without causing damage, get 2 hugs + 1 20 second make-out
-Tell her to come over whenever, bounce; how do I transition this into neighbor sex?

Also once I find out her name (gonna go over there and check the mailboxes to see if it's posted on the outside), I will post as many pics as I can creep off her facebook.

I think your play is to get 2 bobby pins and let yourself in for a little "surprise sex".

I think your play is pics or gtfo.

lol, way to blow that opportunity that youll never have again

how did you not fuck them again? you failed worse than i did last night

 

Originally Posted by Jaybone2315

The only way she was going to remember you, was if you woke up next to her.

good luck starting from scratch next time you see her.

Yep.

 

Originally Posted by Senescent

flippy floppies

Haha I very much agree that my best chance to fuck this girl was probably last night; however, I was not drunk and she was quite the opposite. Simply put, I wasn't going to essentially rape this girl (sorry OT). I know I joked in the OP about her possibly being blacked out, but I don't think she was at that point. 6/10 mighta been, though. I am sure she'll remember who I was anyway. Highly doubt that I'm locked into friend zone after that but I see your point. Paul Rudd comparison isn't far from the truth either (sucks for me).

My gameplan at the moment is to just wait it out and hope I see her outside sometime soon and ask her if she wants to hit the bars with me and my niggas (not really niggers). I'll go creep her mailbox today and see if I can get you guys some pics.

 

Originally Posted by Jaybone2315

The only way she was going to remember you, was if you woke up next to her.

good luck starting from scratch next time you see her.

wisdom imo

I see what you did there OP

Lol, yea, clearly my aggro game in scenarios like this is terrible, hence the advice request

Go buy a flavored bottle of vodka (or whatever bishes drink these days), pour some out. Next time you hear them stumbling home knock on the door and ask if they want it because a couple of girls left it at your place the other day and you won't drink it.

 

Originally Posted by edwardt1988

You serious? This is obviously in response to the other thread where the guy says that someone kicked in his door and he found two chicks in the house.

allsum

everytime i let what looked to be easy ass go, thinking "i got this next time no need to rush", i never got back on track. must seize the moment

get some alcohol and try to party with her is your only move

 

Originally Posted by eg23

Were you being serious about checking her mailbox for her name? I cant tell if this thread is a level... I'm sure youll see her outside the building again and when you do just make a playful joke about her being locked out/ making sure she has her keys etc... Shouldnt be too difficult if shes remotely interested

Not a level; I understood when I posted the OP that I'd need to supply pics or gtfo, and figured that was the best way to go about it. There are mailboxes for the entire complex inside the front door and a lot of people put their full names on the outside of their mailbox. Drove to Chicago for Father's day to grill some steaks for my rents but I'll be home tomorrow morning and check then.

pretty sure I would fall in love with any girl whose first thought upon being locked out is to try and break down her front door. I really respect that type of "who gives a fuck, I'm drunk, I'll worry about it later" attitude.

It would be fucking hilarious if she sees you, the guy who is apparently skilled at breaking into apartments, going through her mail.

 

Originally Posted by Senescent

me and my niggas (not really niggers).