Originally Posted by TwystedPair

Geeeeeesh

I tailgated with some friends in front of this old tour bus looking thing




Went inside with my girlfriend to check it out, saw a bedroom in the back with a door that locked, she was horny like always, she pulled her pants down, face down ass up on the bed, and then there was sex.

Wait she's your "gf" now?

 

Originally Posted by Camz

Wait she's your "gf" now?

Yeah, definitely a whole lot sooner than I'm comfortable with.. that's for sure. The fact that my daughters are all up in my business is making this situation much different than it has been in the past. I have only introduced my kids to one girlfriend in 2 1/2 years and that was after 6 months of us dating. They are the ones that hooked us up and she tells her daughter EVERYTHING so my girls know pretty much every time we hang out. They Facebook hacked me last weekend and already made this shit FB official. Pretty fuckin ridic if you ask me. Could be worse I guess. She's hot, has a G-spot in her throat, loves to fuck, does my laundry, gets enough $$ from her ex so she doesn't have to work.

 

Originally Posted by TwystedPair

Yeah, definitely a whole lot sooner than I'm comfortable with.. that's for sure. The fact that my daughters are all up in my business is making this situation much different than it has been in the past. I have only introduced my kids to one girlfriend in 2 1/2 years and that was after 6 months of us dating. They are the ones that hooked us up and she tells her daughter EVERYTHING so my girls know pretty much every time we hang out. They Facebook hacked me last weekend and already made this shit FB official. Pretty fuckin ridic if you ask me. Could be worse I guess. She's hot, has a G-spot in her throat, loves to fuck, does my laundry, gets enough $$ from her ex so she doesn't have to work.

Well that escalated rather quickly.

 

Originally Posted by Camz

Gl dude. I'd be skeptical about a chick that's been handcuffed in a relationship for so long willing to jump right back in to a monogamous one...

Keep your feelings to a minimum and obv keep pounding the sweet ass

Don't worry about me. I was handcuffed long enough in my own miserable marriage to get all caught up after a couple of weeks. I just wish it didn't have to be so damn public. I'm going to have to put the squadoosh on my girls knowing everything I do with her.

 

Originally Posted by Jaybone2315

One of my buddies lost his virginity to to girls asshole cause she was religious and she thought having sex in her vag was bad lol.

He wins so hard.

this is way more common than people think it's really amazing how dumb people are

Back in May I was home on leave. Me and the ex had been talking casually for a month or so before (she's had new boyfriend for about 8 months at the time). We're obviously still on really good terms, and talk about missing old times etc. She mentions how nice it would be if we ran into each other while I was in town so we could get a hug. So we "accidentally" meet up at the car wash, hug it out, talk a little, pretty innocent.

But the plan was in motion, old feelings came back and she definitely wanted more. We had to keep things on the DL, so I mentioned just going out in the country and laying out under the stars, talk etc. keep it PG (lol, we both knew that wasn't gonna happen), she obviously gushed over the idea. We head out about 11 p.m. that night, throw some blankets in the bed of my truck, light a candle to keep the bugs away. We lay down and talk for a bit, get closer and closer, start kissing a little, and clothes start coming off. Within a half hour she's riding me in the bed of my truck out in a field right off a little highway. It was the best with the stars and the moon and all that gay shit.

Made the same plans the very next night, but this time sexy time happened in the backseat of my truck because it was storming out.

Beat:

My best friend had just started a pretty serious relationship with a girl that I went to collegel with and hung out at my apartment all the time. He didn't go to school with us. They fought alot and he was going through some shit and got really drunk one friday night. We got him back to her place. He couldn't walk. I went home and she called me like 20 minutes later and said people were coming over to her place (no chance all our mutual friends were at our place). I had just downed a pint of Jagermeister to catch up with everyone at my party and couldn't fucking see. I went over and it was her, her really slutty roomate and my friend passed out on the couch. She was wearing a long shirt and underwear. Her friend was fully dressed. It felt like I was called over for a booty call but was too drunk to figure out from which one. I banked on it being the slutty roomate and stayed for the "party". We started playing drinking games and my friend's girlfriend decided to play a strip game instead. The game was we flip cards and any card under 10 we take off an item of clothing (LOL). So like 5 minutes in her and her slutty roomate are down to bras with straps undone, and her undy friend in Gstring. I have only my boxers on. And prob. massive erection I'm not sure. I at this point know I can fuck the roomate and am not going to do shit with my friends girlfriend. And i'm about to see her titties so no big deal. I roll a 6. Look around. The first thing out of her mouth is you can't tell Eric. He insta wakes up and flips out. At her not me but just super pissed screaming. Punches a whole in the wall and throws the boombox we had playing across the room.

I try to calm him down but no dice. I toss my clothes on walk home and jack off.

This is a fail/win sex story.

Was doing my gf from college in her ass in the shower in her dorm room. I slipped and thrusted full steam ahead. She shreiked and fell out of the shower door and started crying. At the time I felt super bad. But after about 2 years of dating her, she cheated on me with the same dude for a few months before i found out. We broke up, she got preggers to him like a month later. They're now married and have 2 kids (happened a little less than 4 years ago).

So now I tell the story with pride. Fuck that whore.

i wrote out this long winded response about a great story of when i took home a black stripper and a brazilian/black stripper from a club in jersey and had a 3 way with them/fucked em in the ass etc but then my computer fucked up. It was pretty fuckin awesome tho. I obv paid for it.

Halloween of my freshmen year @ wvu. I was pledging a fraternity that semester and we were having a super awesome party at one of the bars downtown. It was a date party on the VIP upper level of one of the nicer bars. these things are pretty awesome because you you get security at the bottom of the steps which go up to the top level to keep it exclusive and you can go down to the bottom 2 levels and pick off girls to bring up if your date isn't working out. oh, and its open bar all night There's also a huge after party going on at the fraternity house which is up the hill about 2 blocks away. It's near impossible to not get laid with this set up.

At about 2pm that day I was already shitfaced but hadn't got a costume yet. I got my friend, who also didnt have a costume yet, to drive us up to the mall to find some costumes and of course everything was sold out. while stumbling around walmart i see a leonardo ninja turltes costume and my drunk ass gets super pumped. I go up to grab it and realize its a kids small (i was probably 5'10 220lb then) but im pretty stubborn and stupid when im drunk so there was no convincing me of getting anything different at this point. the only part that fit was the blue ninja eye mask. I go into the the toys section to look for ninja stars and shit to go with the costume and I found this super awesome leonardo sword that makes all these badass sound effects. to make the whole thing work; i cut a the one piece costume in half to make it like a shirt and pants instead of a one peice, then i cut slits in the pants half to make belt loops so i could hold the pants up. when i put on the costume the top came down to about right above my belly button, the back couldnt snap together, the pants were beyond tight and didnt even cover my knees, and i would just slide the ninja turtle sword down the back of my "shirt" to hold it like leonardo would. i looked like a complete ridiculous mess, but whatever its wvu.

so my date shows up at the house dressed up as a sexy referee and is looking pretty awesome. i'm guessing she wasnt super impressed with me when she saw my retard turtle costume but i had a reputation for being out of control and unpredictable so it probably wasn't a huge surprise. so now the serious drinking begins on our deck out front of the house before we head downtown and i start fucking up my chances with this girl pretty quick. after my tour of the house/bj in the basement move fails i start hitting on girls walking by our house on there way downtown and trying to line up replacement refs for when we get to the bar (pussy in morgantown is all about volume and table selection). later while we're down at the bar i bring my date back near the bathrooms where there's a lounge area with a bunch of couches where i make my move. she cuts me off when i try to finger bang her and at this point i pretty much give up on this bish. i tell her im going to get us drinks and disappear downstairs to see what i can find. i start talking to this girl dressed up as a sexy catwomen and start making out with her at the bar and bring her up. its probably an hourish later when i get back upstairs and my "date" is still in the lounge area but talking pretty close with on of friends now. the catwomen bish pretty much just uses me to get upstairs and after 2 or 3 drinks shes already bored with me and i can tell she's going after some other guys (i find out later she fucked a different friend i didn't even see her with that night). its getting late now and people start trickling out of the bar and headed to the after party so i go back downstairs to see what i can find this time. Jackpot, i start talking to a super hot wonder woman and bring her back up to the party with me.

i get up to the house with the wonder woman girl and i'm hitting it off pretty good. most of the party is going on outside on the deck, in our front yard, in the great room, and the kitchen. people are going upstairs in and out of bedrooms for drugs and fucking. its a huge house with 30 bedrooms. i go for my take this girl on a tour of the house/bj in the basement move. so i show her around and when we get to the basement i bring her over to the couch and we start making out. so while shes straddling me and were making out with her titty hanging out of her wonder woman costume, i flip her around onto the couch and pull her panties off while shes still wearing the wonder woman skirt and top with her titty still out and i start finger banging her. were going at it like this for a minute when my dumbass giggles to myself and i reach for the ninja turtle sword on the coffee table. before she knows what hit her i slide it in her pussy and it makes this awesome sound affect that sounded like a sword swooshing threw the air and then hitting wood. she looks at me with the strangest look of "what the fucking fuck are you doing dude" + "are you gonna keep going or what". at this point i laugh and then that makes her laugh but when she laughs it makes the sword bounce up and make sound effects so then i start cracking the fuck up hysterically. this is when my friend runs down and sees me sitting there down on one knee practically falling over and laughing in my retard ninja turtle outfit with this girl on the couch dressed as wonder woman with a sword in her pussy. he starts cracking up and then tells me there's a fight outside. i tell the girl ill be right back and leave her there to go help with the fight. these are usually big brawls at this time of night but when i get out the fight is over and my friend got punched in the eye with a key and his eyelid is falling off. i get in a car with him on the way to the hospital where we drop him off to get his eyelid sewn back on. i get back to the house and the girl is passed out on the couch. i wake her up with a blunt. we start making out again and its finally bj time. she gets on top i fuck her with her wonder woman costume still on which was fucking awesome. after that i walked her home got in bed with her and then snuck out when she fell asleep. man, i miss college.

 

Originally Posted by zspokerpink

I comforted a girl about her recent abortion (2 weeks prior to the Jamboree) at Big Valley Jamboree here in Camrose, Alberta. It was only 2 weeks after the procedure; I fucked her in her tent, nutted on her stomach (she used her sleeping bag to clean up her stomach).

I regret nothing

For those of us not used to canadian lingo, which part of the girls body is "her tent"?

lol i found a pic of the ninja turtle sword

Also, twisted has a serious gf? wtf.....

My girlfriend lets me fuck her face. I hold her head and just pump away. I can't go all the way down she does have a gag reflex.


Ya it's awesome.

try flipping her opposite, ie. she lays with her back on the bed, with her head at the edge of the bed. then you proceed with said face fucking, should be easier on her throat that way. if successful, provide pics.