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Posts: 530
Joined: Jan 08Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:06pm)
Title says it all. Dead lays, pinched nipples, a finger slipped somewhere... tell me about the worst sex you have had with someone or an awkward sexual moment. For me personally it was getting head from a fat chick (the only fat girl i have ever done stuff with) the head was great but when I dabbled my fingers in her crotch the next morning my hand was all bloody and shit. I wanted to puke. Have at it....
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s1nnr
will stab you
Posts: 9,576
Joined: Mar 07Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:08pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
paging SWEETNESS!
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Posts: 1,467
Joined: May 07Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:09pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
Originally Posted by hawgfarmer
Title says it all. Dead lays, pinched nipples, a finger slipped somewhere... tell me about the worst sex you have had with someone or an awkward sexual moment. For me personally it was getting head from a fat chick (the only fat girl i have ever done stuff with) the head was great but when I dabbled my fingers in her crotch the next morning my hand was all bloody and shit. I wanted to puke. Have at it....
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Posts: 530
Joined: Jan 08Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:14pm) in reply to DBQB4873
sfawesome i just loled in my pants
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Posts: 9,219
Joined: Jun 06Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:14pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
When I was a freshman in college, I knew this one girl. At the time she had a boyfriend who she refused to cheat on, bitch.
Fast forward 2 years, her and her BF break up. Im still friends with her and her roommate. I agreed to help them move into their new apartment in exchange for a case of beer.
We were both drunk so I made my move and it works. We're in her room and as I slide it in she starts crying her eyes out while screaming "pump it, pump it." I quickly hop off and she gives me this talk about how she just broke up and how good of friends we are blah blah blah. So I try to stick it in again and again she cries like crazy (same thing, she's still yelling). I quickly lose my boner and walk home partially naked, sort of like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. -
Posts: 1,739
Joined: May 08Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:16pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
one of my first girlfriends the first time i ever tried to finger her i stuck it in her butt on accident. She was a little surprised to say the least.
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This was about 10 years ago, so pretty sure I deleted most of it from my mind. Awkward sexual moment catagory.
Was at a club hitting on my friends sister about ten years ago. Pretty drunk, she got me out dancing. Starting making out, I started whispering in her ear, trying to get her to come back to my place.
Somehow her hoop earring got jammed in my right nostral. She pulled away hard almost piercing my nose, blood starting jushing everywhere, basically had to grab her by her hair, pull her back in to pull the earring out which had almost gone through punctured my nose completely.
Got the earring out somehow and ditched the chick on the dance floor, managed to get to the washroom with blood dripping all over my face, shirt everywhere. Everyone in the washroom thought I had just got in a fight and obv rather then tell them the reality I told them " you should see the other guy".
Needless to say I didnt get any that night. The end. -
Posts: 2,144
Joined: Jun 07Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:38pm) in reply to sXeffects
I have a good one. Recent aswell (3 weekends ago).
I was out clubbing with a few friends. Met a really pretty girl from Slovakia. Unfortunately her English wasnt great. I mean, she was able to speak but everytime I spoke with her she seemed a bit confused.
Anywho it's about 4am and I go back to hers. We fuck like 3-4 times and everything is cool.
Then out of nowhere this fucking beast, I'm talking like 6 foot 6 ish and atleast 250 pounds, walks in whilst she's giving me head.
I still dont know why I did what I did but I just started laughing hysterically....... I was shitting myself thinking this guy was like her pimp and I was about to be killed or something........ He shouts something Slovakian at her and I was just like..... WTF.
It turns out this monster was her dad....
Talk about awkward. -
Posts: 5,005
Joined: Aug 05Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:43pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
*Would have to be either of these. Nothing*ridiculously*bad, but with only nine girls and two and a half years of experience to choose from its all I got:
Was fingering my gf two summers ago and she tells me to stop for a second. Im like why whats wrong and she says she doesnt wanna tell me. Im like lol wtf okay so I go to pull my fingers out and she stops me and says no dont do that. Im like... no you didnt. She just looked so embarassed. Nasty blood red alllll over my fingers and sheets. Cool.
Then two weeks ago I came home from State and ran into this girl that Ive known from highschool for prolly two years or so at a local show. I saw her around and talked to her a few times but never really chilled with her. So we get to talking and throw on some drink and obv by the end of the night Im fucking her in the backseat of her friends car. I knew she was kinda a bit of a hoe from some stories I heard but I was like fuck it who cares. So 3 days later my dick is like itchy as fuck at the tip and it burns when I pee and I look up std symptoms and Im like a dead match for gonnahrea (sp?) FML. Turned out to be a urinary tract infection and a simple antibiotic fixed me right up. weeeeeeeeeee I run good obv. -
Posts: 5,020
Joined: Apr 07Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:44pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
Once dated a girl who was.... an idiot. Here are some of the worst things.
I have never once thought it would be a good idea to stick it in a girl's pooper. It's not my thing. She wanted me to and it was..... pretty terrible. No lube, no nothing, she just wants it in her pooper. It was beyond awful and neither one of us enjoyed it. Then I pulled out and it was awkward. Then it was made 10x worst when we at the time time noticed a chocolate stain on the tip of.... me.
Yeah, real fun uncomfortably sitting there while someone scrubs a shitstain off the tip of your penis with a moist washcloth.
Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and somehow she had forgotten that she had just started her period. So, yay I earned my red wings.
Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and it just tasted..... really strange. Turned out she had a yeast infection. So, yay I earned my yellow wings.
In case I didn't already point this out this was my EX-GF -
Posts: 5,005
Joined: Aug 05Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:47pm) in reply to moscow01
rofl and you are still alive because...?Originally Posted by moscow01
I have a good one. Recent aswell (3 weekends ago).
I was out clubbing with a few friends. Met a really pretty girl from Slovakia. Unfortunately her English wasnt great. I mean, she was able to speak but everytime I spoke with her she seemed a bit confused.
Anywho it's about 4am and*I go back to hers. We fuck like 3-4 times and everything is cool.
Then out of nowhere this fucking beast, I'm talking like 6 foot 6 ish and atleast 250 pounds, walks in whilst she's giving me head.
I still dont know why I did what*I did but*I just started laughing hysterically....... I was shitting myself*thinking this guy was like her pimp and I was about to be killed or something........ He shouts something Slovakian at her and I was just like..... WTF.
It turns out this monster was her dad....
*
Talk about awkward. -
Posts: 2,144
Joined: Jun 07Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:47pm) in reply to RaidenRadio
We have a winner.Originally Posted by RaidenRadio
Once dated a girl who was.... an idiot. Here are some of the worst things.
I have never once thought it would be a good idea to stick it in a girl's pooper. It's not my thing. She wanted me to and it was..... pretty terrible. No lube, no nothing, she just wants it in her pooper. It was beyond awful and neither one of us enjoyed it. Then I pulled out and it was awkward. Then it was made 10x worst when we at the time time noticed a chocolate stain on the tip of.... me.
Yeah, real fun uncomfortably sitting there while someone scrubs a shitstain off the tip of your penis with a moist washcloth.
Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and somehow she had forgotten that she had just started her period. So, yay I earned my red wings.
Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and it just tasted..... really strange. Turned out she had a yeast infection. So, yay I earned my yellow wings.
In case I didn't already point this out this was my EX-GF
Thread should be over. -
jamie16119
DO NOT TRADE
Posts: 329
Joined: May 09Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:48pm) in reply to RaidenRadio
you sir are my heroOriginally Posted by RaidenRadio
Once dated a girl who was.... an idiot. Here are some of the worst things.
I have never once thought it would be a good idea to stick it in a girl's pooper. It's not my thing. She wanted me to and it was..... pretty terrible. No lube, no nothing, she just wants it in her pooper. It was beyond awful and neither one of us enjoyed it. Then I pulled out and it was awkward. Then it was made 10x worst when we at the time time noticed a chocolate stain on the tip of.... me.
Yeah, real fun uncomfortably sitting there while someone scrubs a shitstain off the tip of your penis with a moist washcloth.
Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and somehow she had forgotten that she had just started her period. So, yay I earned my red wings.
Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and it just tasted..... really strange. Turned out she had a yeast infection. So, yay I earned my yellow wings.
In case I didn't already point this out this was my EX-GF
i just fuckin LOL'D -
abower1185
burmese python
Posts: 1,554
Joined: Dec 06Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:51pm) in reply to moscow01
I've actually never mentioned this to anyone. But when I was 17ish, this black girl messaged me on myspace. She only had two pictures and seemed pretty hot. I had never done a black girl and she was talkin all dirty saying she wanted to suck some white dick. One thing led to another and I went to her apartment...........
Knock,Knock
A 200ish pound black girl opens the door wearing some huge ass frilly lingerie. Of course, I ask where Leatha is...she says I'm looking at her. I was pretty shocked and told her I had to leave. She says she understand and offers to just hang out and smoke a blunt. I was pretty wasted cause who wants to fuck a black stranger girl sober.......
Anyway I end up getting head and doing her with her dildo.
On second thought I guess it wasn't that bad. -
jamie16119
DO NOT TRADE
Posts: 329
Joined: May 09Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:53pm) in reply to abower1185
WHY DIDNT U FUCK HER?Originally Posted by abower1185
I've actually never mentioned this to anyone. But when I was 17ish, this black girl messaged me on myspace. She only had two pictures and seemed pretty hot. I had never done a black girl and she was talkin all dirty saying she wanted to suck some white dick. One thing led to another and I went to her apartment...........
Knock,Knock
A 200ish pound black girl opens the door wearing some huge ass frilly lingerie. Of course, I ask where Leatha is...she says I'm looking at her. I was pretty shocked and told her I had to leave. She says she understand and offers to just hang out and smoke a blunt. I was pretty wasted cause who wants to fuck a black stranger girl sober.......
Anyway I end up getting head and doing her with her dildo.
On second thought I guess it wasn't that bad. -
Posts: 369
Joined: Sep 06Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:54pm) in reply to doomed222
About 4 years ago i was out with 2 buddies and this chick who was kinda hangin out with my friend but he hadnt closed yet......well were on the way to drop me off at 2 am at my moms in portland (i lived in vancouver at the time) and im in the back with this girl and i mention we should hang out sometime.....she says how bout right now. I lol and then we get out at my moms go in and start fucking downstairs instantly, 5-10 mins in a light gets flipped on and shes straddling me nude in the living room and theres my mom like WTF!!!! I scream at her and she goes away........well me and the girl just laugh it off and start smokin bowls and drinkin more....fast forward an hour and were asleep in my old room (on the floor)......when i hear what sounds like pissing and sure enough i open my eyes to this drunk bitch whizzin away maybe 5 ft from my head......needless to say i freaked out and ended up having my buddy come pick her up and take her home..........best part is he ended up dating this girl for over a year
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abower1185
burmese python
Posts: 1,554
Joined: Dec 06Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 2:58pm) in reply to jamie16119
Because....Originally Posted by jamie16119
WHY DIDNT U FUCK HER?
1. She got me off from the head pretty quickly
2. I wanted my B-card taken from someone under 200lbs. -
Posts: 1,739
Joined: May 08Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 3:09pm) in reply to pbcsurfer
anyone else imagining this guy running out of room with arms flailing screaming like a girl?Originally Posted by pbcsurfer
Band played last Sat., met random band chicks invited us back to her mansion turns out, hook up wiht one in pool, go back inside then we move to her dads office. She jumped on me and were making out she got naked and layed back on the couch and said " how bad do you want to fuck right now?" She laid back i looked down and my shirt was covered in blood ran out of the room puked took my shirt off and left with my friend with 24 pack of coronas, havent talked to since.
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Posts: 4,070
Joined: Nov 05Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 3:17pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
One word:
Hair -
jeppg1111
Disabled account
Posts: 3,705
Joined: Jan 05Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 3:21pm) in reply to jasmith85
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Posts: 2,415
Joined: May 06Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 3:21pm) in reply to hawgfarmer
does not computeOriginally Posted by hawgfarmer
Title says it all. Dead lays, pinched nipples, a finger slipped somewhere... tell me about the worst sex you have had with someone or an awkward sexual moment. For me personally it was getting head from a fat chick (the only fat girl i have ever done stuff with) the head was great but when I dabbled my fingers in her crotch the next morning my hand was all bloody and shit. I wanted to puke. Have at it....
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Posts: 334
Joined: Jul 09Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 3:29pm) in reply to stackinsideways
This happened to me once as well. Except I was getting the BJ in a public park and it was very out and did not notice until I got home and was going to the bathroom and looked and was like "aww shit"... It was really awful, who forgets to take out their gum honestly?Originally Posted by stackinsideways
was getting head from my highschool sweety at my buddies house...
she ends up losing her gum in my pubic hair durring the process... lets just say that was the worst bj ever -
I bet that was a sticky situation!
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Posts: 507
Joined: Nov 07Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 3:38pm) in reply to normlfella
My gf was on top and she was about to get off so she started going up and down pretty fast. Well she went up to far and came back down on my penis it jabbed into the the side of her vagina instead of in it. It felt like she had snapped my shit in half.
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Posts: 11,962
Joined: Jan 07Oct 16th, 2009 (10/16/2009 3:43pm) in reply to maphaus
pm baughman about broke dick - /thread
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