Check out our brand new Local Poker Communities! Get updates and interact with poker players in your area.
Visit the United States Poker Community | Visit the California Poker Community | Read more about the Launch of P5s Local

Shopping with the Wife

Reply to Thread
  1. MyDogMick MyDogMick is offline

    Naperville, IL
    United States

    Posts: 201
    Joined: Jan 06

    Jul 23rd, 2009 (7/23/2009 8:27pm)

    I got this joke via email. I LOL'd.

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
    trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to
    browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
    local Target.

    Dear Mrs.Hudson,
    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
    commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have
    been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
    against your husband, Mr. J. Hudson are listed below and
    are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    other people's carts when they weren't looking

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
    at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
    to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
    official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away?.
    This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and
    receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted
    with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
    costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
    M&Ms on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
    the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring
    pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
    began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave
    me alone?' Police were called.

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
    it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
    department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
    were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
    loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
    'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
    browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
    speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!
    IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    The last straw was:

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
    waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet
    paper in here. One of the clerks passed out.
  2. goofy2485 goofy2485 is offline This thread sucks.

    Tucson, AZ
    United States

    Posts: 9,180
    Joined: Mar 07

    Jul 23rd, 2009 (7/23/2009 8:29pm) in reply to MyDogMick

    Add June 23: This was posted for like the 18th time.

    <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden">
  3. quietwinner quietwinner is offline

    MO
    United States

    Posts: 5,254
    Joined: Oct 07

    Jul 23rd, 2009 (7/23/2009 8:30pm) in reply to MyDogMick

    haha pretty funny. i loled a few times. wp
     
  4. Hateflops Hateflops is offline 7 over par. ship it!

    Posts: 7,044
    Joined: Nov 05

    Jul 23rd, 2009 (7/23/2009 8:30pm) in reply to MyDogMick

  5. BillMueller BillMueller is offline OT President

    Farmland, IN
    United States

    Posts: 16,387
    Joined: May 06

    Jul 23rd, 2009 (7/23/2009 8:36pm) in reply to goofy2485

     
    Originally Posted by goofy2485 View Post


    Add June 23: This was posted for like the 18th time.

    <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden">

    July 23 it should read.

    also, who the fuck reads forwarded emails anymore? I have a few filters set up to where if a few of my clowny friends email me it goes straight to trash unless it contains words that I actually care about. GTFO and stop wasting my time forwarded email bullshit
Reply to Thread

Similar Threads