Accidently locked my keys in my house when I was 19. Tried to break in through the back kitchen window. Ended up slipping and putting my arm through the glass. Nearly cut my arm off. Completely sliced up the inside of my forearm from my wrist to my elbow. Cut every nerve, tendon, etc. I was out of commission for a year. Still only have about 75% use of my left wrist.

 

Originally Posted by utterczar

The WASP and me,

Been trying to kill a big ass wasp in my garage for a month. Saw it one day amd got my WASP spray (with a 27' range)... Blast the wasp, and it falls tgo the garage floor.. It starts to get up and try to fly and I run over to step on it.... Well, the ground was slick from the spray, and my left foot launched forward, causing my body to fall backwards, over my right knee, which was planted and did not budge... SNAP-POP-ARRRRRRGHHHHHHHH

Went to an orthopedic who took xrays and couldn't see much due to swelling.. Sent me to get an MRI......

TORN MCL

damn i had you targeted in all my fantasy drafts too....glgl with rehab

Broke my wrist playing DARTS...

Was young and I thought my dad had an advantage because he was throwing straight at the board and I had to throw upwards at an angle. Stood on a stool, leaned over to throw, gg wrist.

broke a couple of ribs in January going way too fast on a green slope. Could have been much much worse so i'm thankful

i would bfactor the shit out of this thread if i listed everything, but I'll tell you a quick one.

Like 1998 I was walking thru a mall (MacDade Mall for the Delco guys so you get the picture), and this guy was following people around quoting scripture in their faces. He was obnoxiously loud and obviously crazy...and I knew I was fucked when i made eye contact. He followed me all the way to my car screaming jesus quotes in my ear. He started blocking my path as I tried to juke around him. At the time I walked with a cane due to a foot injury, and decided I could probably take this dude out with one upside his head then jump in my truck and bounce. So i suckered him with it. hard! It didnt even phase him, just pissed him off and before I knew what happened he had me in the air and threw me around like a rag doll. He beat the piss out of me and I rolled under my truck to get away from him and waited for the ambulance. Fractured collar bone, bruised ribs, and dislocated elbow. Couldnt breathe for a good 5 mins and really thought i was going to die.

 

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

i would bfactor the shit out of this thread if i listed everything, but I'll tell you a quick one.

Like 1998 I was walking thru a mall (MacDade Mall for the Delco guys so you get the picture), and this guy was following people around quoting scripture in their faces. He was obnoxiously loud and obviously crazy...and I knew I was fucked when i made eye contact. He followed me all the way to my car screaming jesus quotes in my ear. He started blocking my path as I tried to juke around him. At the time I walked with a cane due to a foot injury, and decided I could probably take this dude out with one upside his head then jump in my truck and bounce. So i suckered him with it. hard! It didnt even phase him, just pissed him off and before I knew what happened he had me in the air and threw me around like a rag doll. He beat the piss out of me and I rolled under my truck to get away from him and waited for the ambulance. Fractured collar bone, bruised ribs, and dislocated elbow. Couldnt breathe for a good 5 mins and really thought i was going to die.

believe that one shoulda gone in the confession thread

im sure ive got a bunch but dumbest all ended up me skirting injury - worst was going from catwalk under bridge ( prob 150-200 feet above mississippi river) to the outside I beams of the under bridge. Thing was like 6 inches wide and every ten - twelve feet were the i-beam "studs" that you had to basically swing yourself around to keep moving along. Went from center of bridge to other side like this, certain death with any slight misstep

good times

I was 17 and driving a dump truck at the steel mill on weekends. On a night shift, had a load of bricks from the open hearth and drove to the dump. Dumped the load and let the box down but the tailgate wouldn't fully close. Got out of the truck and saw a brick jammed between the tailgate and box. Being 17 and smart as a box of hair, i reached in and pulled the brick out. The tailgate slammed shut and trapped two fingers. I managed to lift the tailgate open with my free hand enough to slide my fingers out. They were cut through to the bone but luckily never lost them. Pretty dumb.

One OT knows about....Jacked off at my friends house in flordia and just as I finished his kitten jumped on where all the movement was and bit my dick and started kicking my balls.

Riding my bike at college decide to put left hand on right handlebar and righthand on left handlebar and crashed violently.

heres a something about mary moment...walking home from school through this LARGE park. Have to go wee wee...start going wee wee....two girls in my class were like EWWWWWWWWWWW....zipped up and screamed(literally carved the bottom off little al)

I broke my wrist playing soccer.
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I was the goalie tho.

 

Originally Posted by XXEDPXX

when i was a little kid the toilet seat fell on my dick when i was pissing. i dont remember it but my uncle gets drunk and tells the story at every family get together

Your uncle paul newman?

I tore my leg open sliding into a base during a slowpitch softball game with shorts on. Not my best moment

party Cove lake of the ozarks, summer bachelor party when I was like 23. Thousands of boats on the lake. Drinking all day on the lake. Friend drops a full bottle of Jack into the water. I try to play hero and retrieve it since I can hold my breath for like three minutes. It was like 12 feet deep. After like 4 diving attempts I hold a huge breath and stay under forever. I am so out of breath I begin to black out so I push off the bottom to come up. I crush my head on the bottom of a boat. Pain. Can't see. Seeing stars. Tunnel vision. Scramble to get up only to hit boat after boat. I somehow see light and sneak out just before game over. Dumbest and scariest thing I've ever done. Literally seconds from death.

 

Originally Posted by IX Equilibrium

Broke my ankle practicing fade away jumpers in my friends front yard before we were heading to a pick up game. He ran inside to get something and I was getting my dirk on and stepped right on a spot where his driveway met his rocks and there was a small gap between the two. He came outside and was rolling on the floor from laughter.

At same friends house I was putting a pipe we just used up on his top shelf in his closet. He doesn't have any closet doors and I stood up really fast on a chair and smashed my head right into the top part of the frame. Knocked myself out cold and sprained my neck.

Playing water basketball at another friends house, it was my first time ever at his house and I was running on the cool deck to throw down a monsterous dunk. Right as I am about to dunk he yells out "don't hang on the rim it's not cemented in" too late.... The hoop, which was an old legit basketball hoop sawed in half and put into a hole in the deck, came crashing down on my head and knocked me out. Gave me a sever concussion and a head full of staples.

lol you're "that guy"

Broke, then rebroke the bone in my hand behind the pinkie from punching a door cause of punting a online tourney(s). Being a smart man I covered it up with some scars from punching a mirror after my friend welched on a bet we made which I proceded to spend on getting us both drunk on what I thought was his dime. (Cheap Bastard)
Also I gave myself a small scar under my eyebrow from shooting a rifle when I didn't know how to shoot a rifle and the scope kicked back.

Oh yea, forgot I also broke my pinky ( think, didn't go doctor) early June punching a fence cause my buddy told me to. Just healed enough to golf like two weeks ago

Also right before I guess I told some family I was going to eat their children, at least according to the chick I was with

Good ole grand ole day

I was climbing some rock climbing wall showing off for my son about 2 years ago. I had flip flops on. I slipped, fell about 8 feet directly on my ribs. I couldn't breathe and I know I broke a couple ribs. It hurt for like 6 weeks. I could hardly sleep at night b/c the pain was so bad. No idea how quarterbacks can play/throw with broken ribs sometimes.