this thread reminds me how indestructible I am

summer after 1st or 2nd year of college we were scrapping out an old company truck that had been sitting at the boss's house for 30+ years. there were a few copper pieces that we wanted to save before hauling it off.

I was going ham with a 6' 70-lb pry bar (think big) when I decided to take a swing at the fender for no particular reason. the pry bar rebounded right back at my face and split a huge gash RIGHT beside my right eye. basically if it hit anywhere else it would have blinded me, broken my jaw/nose, killed me or retarded me. but it landed on the eye socket bone and didn't break somehow.

I remember I didn't realize what happened right away, it just knocked me backwards and I was holding my face but still standing up, can't believe it didn't knock me out either. the other guys were like holy shit obv. so finally I took my hand off the cut and one of the guys immediately says "alright, which hospital do you want to go to?" lol

got a few stitches and some pain pills but it was weird because it didn't bleed much at all on the drive to the ER. the nurses just told me I was an idiot when I walked in holding an oily rag covered in leaves on my face. never hurt tho which surprised me.

edit - forgot that we all told the story that a stripper's heel came around and hit me in the face. also the scar makes me look like a badass. it looks like sub-zero with that long scar beside his eye.

I might have a story of retardness thats tops all of OT. So we were on recess at school while I was in the fourth grade and me and a buddy were walking around the play ground when I reached into my pocket and realized I had taken my pencil with me. For some reason I had an insatiable urge to break this pencil, but It was a fancy one and I was having trouble snapping it in half with my hands. So I had the brilliant idea that I would step on it and break. It was during winter term so there was a lot of snow on the ground so I decided to put a snow base around it and prob it up so I could stomp on it and break it. Unfortunately for me I mistakenly Put the sharp end with the lead up, and you guys can guess what happened. I stomp down on the pencil as hard as I could attempting to break it, but thats not what happened. Immedeitely after stomping on it I knew it had gone through my shoe and into my foot and I started to freak out screaming for help. A few teachers came over and carried me to nurses office to decide what to do. I didn't want to, but I had to look at see the damages. And to my surprise and fear, I pencil had penetrated all the way through the shoe and my whole foot, I could literally see the lead end of the pencil sticking out of the top of my foot!!!!

I was immediately rushed to the hospital where the dr had to cut off my shoe and then physically pull the pencil all the way out of my foot. I was super fortunate that it didn't hit any nerves or bones or else I may not have been able to use my right foot again. Luckily it just went straight through and the only last effects I have are scars on the top and bottom of my foot where the pencil had gone through.

 

Originally Posted by thetruth503

I might have a story of retardness thats tops all of OT. So we were on recess at school while I was in the fourth grade and me and a buddy were walking around the play ground when I reached into my pocket and realized I had taken my pencil with me. For some reason I had an insatiable urge to break this pencil, but It was a fancy one and I was having trouble snapping it in half with my hands. So I had the brilliant idea that I would step on it and break. It was during winter term so there was a lot of snow on the ground so I decided to put a snow base around it and prob it up so I could stomp on it and break it. Unfortunately for me I mistakenly Put the sharp end with the lead up, and you guys can guess what happened. I stomp down on the pencil as hard as I could attempting to break it, but thats not what happened. Immedeitely after stomping on it I knew it had gone through my shoe and into my foot and I started to freak out screaming for help. A few teachers came over and carried me to nurses office to decide what to do. I didn't want to, but I had to look at see the damages. And to my surprise and fear, I pencil had penetrated all the way through the shoe and my whole foot, I could literally see the lead end of the pencil sticking out of the top of my foot!!!!

I was immediately rushed to the hospital where the dr had to cut off my shoe and then physically pull the pencil all the way out of my foot. I was super fortunate that it didn't hit any nerves or bones or else I may not have been able to use my right foot again. Luckily it just went straight through and the only last effects I have are scars on the top and bottom of my foot where the pencil had gone through.

was it actually lead? If it wasn't would it have been way more serious if it was?

Actually in 4th grade as well (I remember the teacher so def was exactly 4th grade) I dropped my pencil and immediately reached down to get it, like my reflex caused me to almost follow it to the ground. Well it landed softly on the eraser end which allowed it to stick straight up for the split second needed for me and my fast reaction time to high five the sharp end and have it stick in.

I definitely vividly remember walking to the nurse with a pencil stuck in my hand. They were all worried that it was lead. It turned out not to be so all they ended up doing was pulling it out and putting a band aid on it. It probably only went half way in, I think I would have freaked out if it went all the way through like yours

edit: not where my screen name came from

Almost lost an eye playing with bottle rockets on 4th of July in college. I was hammered and took a bottle rocket to the eyelid.

When I was 12 I tried to race my sister to the kitchen to.eat the last pc of pizza and I jumped off couch and cracked my head open on part of ceiling where two rooms meet forming a 90 degree angle. 10 staples to the dome.

Broke my wrist trying to pull off some maradona shit while playing coed soccer.

Cracked my head open in high school on a trampoline when I drunkenly bounced into my friends upper teeth.

My boys pit bull nearly ripped my lip off when I messed with him when I was blacked out in high school...12 stitches to reattach my upper lip.

 

Originally Posted by AMARTIN1181

That's what u get for being a douchebag mr blonde

fuck off toolshed. I don't give 2 shits what you think of me, but if you keep taking shots I'm going to retaliate. Keep my name out of your mouth

 

Originally Posted by Unforseen

I've never had surgery retards.

Lets hope this doesnt work like a perfect game thread. haha

 

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

fuck off toolshed. I don't give 2 shits what you think of me, but if you keep taking shots I'm going to retaliate. Keep my name out of your mouth

Kind of like what happened when you took a shot at that guy with your cane?

Community garage sale when I was a kid and someone was selling a stationary bike. I hopped on barefoot to see how fast I could get the speedometer going. My foot slipped off and forward and stuck between the front tire and the breaking mechanism. My big toe stopped the tire. Frrrrntttt. Broken toe, lost toenail, tears were shed.

 

Originally Posted by Hank H1LL

also fairly certain you cropped out your hoof in this picture

LOL

So much for turning the other cheek. Not very Christian of him if you ask me

Head injury playing laser tag with my sons. Yep, deployed for OIF and came home injury free. Don't get old OT.

I was playing touch football with some guys outside my dorm at UConn. We were playing in the quad, which had a ton of streetlamps made of concrete or something ore-like. We just figured we'd avoid running routes toward the streetlamps, which were randomly throughout our field of play, and we'd be fine. On a deep route up the middle, our quarterback threw a high, god-awful pass, and I didn't even think about the lamps, just sprinted straight for the ball. When my hands touched the football, I immediately got destroyed by the streetlamp, which I sprinted straight into. Tried to keep playing, but realized my rib was fractured after maybe 5 or 10 plays. Got laughed at pretty hard for that.

Another dumb football moment was in middle school, when me and my friends decided to nail in caution tape for sidelines in my friend's backyard. An awful pass to me on a crossing route ended up out of bounds, but the cornerback covering me decided to try to slide on his knees and catch the ball. He ripped the cartilage of his left knee off when the head of the nail grabbed his kneecap. Was awful.

 

Originally Posted by gutbirdxx

Holy shit OP, that sucks.

Fell out of a tree. Dislocated finger, nbd.

 

Originally Posted by XXEDPXX

when i was a little kid the toilet seat fell on my dick when i was pissing. i dont remember it but my uncle gets drunk and tells the story at every family get together

I have a scar on the top from this.

 

Originally Posted by XNASTYNATEX

Broke, then rebroke the bone in my hand behind the pinkie from punching a door

yup.

When I was 17 I had my right foot broken at a punk rock show when it was stomped upon. Years later on a Thursday night I was walking around the corner of my girlfriend's couch and kicked it, breaking the 4th metatarsal in my left foot. The next Thursday I watched a replay of a fight where some dude pounded his opponent in the kidneys repeatedly. I have always had somewhat of a weak stomach when it comes to medical matters and I have fainted a number of times when confronted with blood, guts, etc. Well, shortly after watching the fight I go to take a leak and while I'm standing there with dick in hand my mind thinks back to that poor bastard in the fight and fixate on his hemorrhaging kidneys. my vision starts to narrow, I get lightheaded and I wake up a few minutes later on my bathroom floor. Knowing that I broke my left foot a week earlier I stand up putting all the weight on my right foot. Unknowingly, I had kicked the toilet or tub, or perhaps just rolled the right foot and rebroken the spot that had been stomped on years earlier. The right foot "came apart" in the words of my doctor, breaking in 4 places. Spent a few weeks in a wheelchair building up static electricity rolling around the office at work and zapping the shit out of coworkers.

well i guess one thing that was kinda stupid, i was playin hockey in high school, and i was skating around the net chasing a dude, and i was holding my stick very loosely. it somehow caught part of the net and jammed into my rib cage and (think pole vaulting) launched me in the air and i slid into the board. bruised my ribs pretty bad. it hurt really fuckin bad when it happend.