Ok so I'm in the mood to write and feel like telling a Sunday Funday story with football right around the corner


This was Fall 2007 and at the time I was living in Cleveland, OH (right here is where the insults start). This particular day we were at Paninis on W.9th st. The Browns were playing the Raiders, and of course they lost. However, on this particular day the Cleveland Indians clinched the AL Central. I'm sure people from the CLE will appreciate this story more but I don't care. If you have never partied in CLE for football game I highly recommend it. Regardless, so we're getting hammered at the bar from 12pm-on. The browns lose which puts my roommate into a degenerate drunken tailspin (this happens often during the course of a football season). So we're leaving/stumbling out of Paninis and manage to hear that the Tribe are having their celebratory party at the bar Liquid/Fusion/Ultra right next door. Instantly we head next door to this place.

At first we don't see anything going on but then manage to sneak to the other side of the bar. It's weird how the place is set up- anyways, so I happen to bump into a hightop bar table and notice large bottles of what I think is wine. Of course being the inquisitive person that I am I decide to take a swig. It's good so I decide to look at the bottle- Dom Perignon. I then being to think I'm in the right place and report this information back to my roommate. He immediately grabs bottle and starts drinking it- No more than a minute later I go to the bar for another drink. As I'm ordering I feel like their is someone standing next to me that is big enough to create a solar eclipse. I am correct in my hypothesis because this person is C.C Sabathia. Guys the dude is huge, so I point this out to my roommate and he goes apeshit- Doesn't do anything too gay though, just says wassup.

About 10 minutes later we see C.C leaving and I say we need to follow him to wherever the fuck he is going. We see him walking toward and area that heads downstairs into the club part of this place. I proceed to walk through the entire place showing everyone off my new bottle of Dom and how I'm with C.C. He doesn't seem to care about me because I'm some 6'4 lanky ass Jewish white kid(Can't wait for the insults on this). Of course the entrance to the club is guarded by some overweight, white trash, who feels empowered to be working the velvet rope. Anyways, I end up getting right behind C.C as he heads to the rope. He goes through and the guy looks at me and he says NO.

Being the type of person who does not like to hear the word NO, this was the convo that ensued.

"Do you not see the bottle of Dom in my hand, me and my boy are with C.C obviously" - me
"You are not with C.C" - deush
"Yes we are, why don't you fucking ask him (what are my odds here OT?)" - me
"C.C., are these your friends man, should I let em in with you" - deush

"YEAH MAN LET EM IN" - C.C

Keep in mind guys, my roommate is the biggest Cleveland sports fan ever. At this point he is as happy as TJ Cloutier when he spots someone he knows making a cash at the WSOP so he can bum $300 off em. Ok, so we head down into the club and of course I'm showing everyone my bottle and we head up into the VIP with C.C and all of the other HGH freak shows the Tribe had that season (Travis Hafner, Jake Westbrook, Grady Sizemore, etc). Kenny Lofton was up there too, cool guy. These guys are looking at us like who fuck are these guys. So we decide to step away from the VIP for a minute and attempt to score some hoodrats with the bottle of Dom. This goes rather unsuccessful and on top of it, my roommate says,


"Um, what do we do, the bottle of Dom is out"

My reply

"Let's order another one"

This being ok logic at the moment I go up to the bar and order another bottle of Dom. The bartender looks at me cockeyed and I say, "Yes, I'm with C.C, just left the VIP and would like another bottle. She then runs over to the VIP where C.C is and asks him and I see her pointing at us which is making me nervous. Out of nowhere I see C.C shake his head yes and she sprints to the back, brings us out another bottle on ice, and pops the bottle in front of everyone to see. Needless to say, it was a great day. Afterwards, we drank the bottle, attempted to go back into the VIP, and there was some new dude working the gate and they ended our fun day by kicking me out and letting my roommate stay. All in all though, it was a great Sunday Funday

I don't know how you did it, but you made what should've been an awesome story sound incredibly gay. Kudos.

come on down to cleveland town everyone

 

Originally Posted by JLit1

"Do you not see the bottle of Dom in my hand, me and my boy are with C.C obviously" - me
"You are not with C.C" - deush
"Yes we are, why don't you fucking ask him (what are my odds here OT?)" - me
"C.C., are these your friends man, should I let em in with you" - deush

douche?

Good story but are you like the anti-poon? How the fuck did u manage not to get laid?

great story. now tell us another one.

You aren't nearly the writer that you think you are.

I just sent this story to my wife and she said she passed it on to all of her coworkers. They said they can't wait for more.

I'm going to post a story about MILFS when I have a sec...friends just came into town but I'll get the stories up in the next few days

I'm on the edge of my seat....

im waiting for your "i just hanged myself" stories