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Tell Me They Were Hookers (massive life fail itt)

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  1. heavyj80 heavyj80 is offline

    West Babylon, NY
    United States

    Posts: 17,435
    Joined: Aug 07

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:10pm)

    so i was in AC last night for the 1st time in 11 months or so. play 1/2 for a long ass time, double my money, chill around there for a while. eventually have the worst 2 hr stretch ever and lose it all.

    this was at about 2 am. i go to the cafe part to get my favorite, broccoli and cheese soup, and bring it up to my room. they dont have any so instead i get 2 oversized cookies.

    i then walk to the elevators, and about 6 of us get on. 2 people get off at the 5th floor. im going to 12, and theres 2 girls around my age and this like 75 yr old guy left. one of the girls asks me if i won anything or not. i say something like, was for a while then busto. she then intros herself to me, giving me this dreaded sexy handshake, and says her friends name too. she asks if i wanna go party with them.

    so, a little off guard, drunk, and with 2 oversized cookies in hand, im flustered and go "yik im tired duno". they get off at the 9th floor looking sad and as soon as the door closes im hella regretting it and panicky. i turn to the old guy and say "probablyyyyy shoulda went with them". he basically goes "................................................. ........................................ yes"

    so im like in my room for 5 min, really mad at myself for wtf just occured. i then go down to their floor and chill for like 3 min. then i realize all hope is lost, go to the all night gym for a half hr, return to my room, rub one out, shower, and go to bed.

    these girls were legit 7.5s, and this kinda stuff just doesnt happen to me. new me wasnt ready for this event and i failed massively. so what im hoping is that they were hookers. here are the arguments for and against them wanting $:

    + : they just randomly asked me to party in an elevator at 230 am, and used a term i always associated with hookers "wanna party with us" who says that ?. also, her first q was if i was winning or not. they looked kind of whorish, but prob just "sat night in ac" whorish

    - : they didnt look too whorish, standard carrying shoes, normal dresses, etc. im a decent looking guy now so i guess its not too much of a stretch for 2 randoms to ask me this. looked like they had a room so thats a big clue no ?

    im leaning heavily towards the whole situation being legit and me failing as much as humanly possible. this type of stuff does not come along often and my god, wut on erf.

    here's a pic of 2 random brunettes just cause



    cliffs: [ ] im the "rocky of life"

    o/u 14.5 fail pics itt
  2. NechitaCC NechitaCC is offline

    Las Vegas, NV
    United States

    Posts: 3,539
    Joined: Dec 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:13pm) in reply to heavyj80

    They were hookers.

    LOL at first question they ask is how you did, dead giveaway of what they were up to right there. Is this your first encounter of being approached by streetwalkers?
    Edited By: NechitaCC Jan 30th, 2011 at 09:16 PM
  3. undertheradar undertheradar is offline

    Goddard, KS
    United States

    Posts: 2,465
    Joined: May 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:13pm) in reply to NechitaCC

    failbot, procede to your death
  4. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:13pm) in reply to undertheradar

    tl;dr, all women are hookers
  5. chocolatecamo chocolatecamo is offline

    Canada

    Posts: 873
    Joined: Jan 09

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:13pm) in reply to Glo4m

    shits gettin old ppl
  6. Donkey Kong Donkey Kong is offline it's on like me

    United States

    Posts: 6,745
    Joined: Dec 07

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:14pm) in reply to chocolatecamo

    lol u suck
  7. Watcher Watcher is offline

    Biloxi, MS
    United States

    Posts: 582
    Joined: Mar 09

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:14pm) in reply to Donkey Kong

    hookers, ldo
  8. tmac456 tmac456 is offline

    United States

    Posts: 10,278
    Joined: Feb 07

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:15pm) in reply to heavyj80

     
    Originally Posted by heavyj80 View Post

    so, a little off guard, drunk, and with 2 oversized cookies in hand, im flustered and go "yik im tired duno".

    had me in tears
  9. wantagolf wantagolf is offline Moderator

    CA
    United States

    Posts: 20,349
    Joined: Jul 07

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:15pm) in reply to tmac456

    98.6% chance they were hookers. Should of still went and busted a couple of loads.
     
  10. Milo Milo is offline

    Brampton
    Canada

    Posts: 3,813
    Joined: Mar 08

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:15pm) in reply to wantagolf

    I'll make you happy. The only reason they were on that elevator was to head up to service a client. They were just looking to line up future business . . .

    Happy?
  11. budo09 budo09 is offline

    Washington, DC
    United States

    Posts: 5,685
    Joined: Mar 09

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:17pm) in reply to Milo

    yikes
  12. Moosebabies Moosebabies is offline it's all about timing

    Fort Worth, TX
    United States

    Posts: 1,644
    Joined: Feb 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:21pm) in reply to heavyj80

    i like how when they dont have broccoli and cheese soup, your next move is to the 2 oversized cookies. standard progression
  13. michlad michlad is offline

    Bloomington, IN
    United States

    Posts: 1,476
    Joined: Apr 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:21pm) in reply to Moosebabies

    What is going on with you OT guys? Either you're putting the pussy on a pedestal or it's already on a pedestal and you idiots trip and knock it over.
    Edited By: michlad Jan 30th, 2011 at 09:26 PM
  14. thereraise thereraise is offline

    San Diego, CA
    United States

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    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:22pm) in reply to michlad

    im going with Hookers
  15. Moonlight Graham Moonlight Graham is offline

    PA
    United States

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    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:23pm) in reply to thereraise

    didn't you already post this yesterday?
  16. SmokeyCasinos SmokeyCasinos is offline

    CA
    United States

    Posts: 8,014
    Joined: Mar 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:24pm) in reply to Moonlight Graham

    broccoli and cheese soup


    2 oversized cookies
  17. michlad michlad is offline

    Bloomington, IN
    United States

    Posts: 1,476
    Joined: Apr 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:24pm) in reply to michlad

    Oh, and you know the 75 yr old hooked up with both of 'em. Was sure that was gonna be the ending.
  18. goofy2485 goofy2485 is offline This thread sucks.

    Tucson, AZ
    United States

    Posts: 9,180
    Joined: Mar 07

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:24pm) in reply to michlad

    Even if they were hookers, the fact that you didn't get a price is a fail in itself.
  19. tamayo85 tamayo85 is offline

    Addison, IL
    United States

    Posts: 2,624
    Joined: Feb 08

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:24pm) in reply to goofy2485

    Yea, random non hookers are gonna hit on the jackass holding 2 giant cookies in the elevator at 2 am...cool story bro
  20. Moosebabies Moosebabies is offline it's all about timing

    Fort Worth, TX
    United States

    Posts: 1,644
    Joined: Feb 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:28pm) in reply to heavyj80

    hookers or not, you should have asked if they had any broccoli and cheese soup in their room for barter
    Edited By: Moosebabies Jan 30th, 2011 at 09:29 PM
    Reason: possible ovesized cookie mugging averted
  21. Donkey Kong Donkey Kong is offline it's on like me

    United States

    Posts: 6,745
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    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:28pm) in reply to Moosebabies

    smokey must be confused, broccoli soup is fucking great
  22. Braaak Braaak is offline

    Skillman, NJ
    United States

    Posts: 2,526
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    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:29pm) in reply to tamayo85

     
    Originally Posted by tamayo85 View Post

    Yea, random non hookers are gonna hit on the jackass holding 2 giant cookies in the elevator at 2 am...cool story bro

    So obvious.
  23. Hallettcopta Hallettcopta is offline

    Raleigh, NC
    United States

    Posts: 3,343
    Joined: Jun 08

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:32pm) in reply to tamayo85

     
    Originally Posted by tamayo85 View Post

    Yea, random non hookers are gonna hit on the jackass holding 2 giant cookies in the elevator at 2 am...cool story bro

    So this. Plus what everyone else said in that the first question they asked you was how much you won. You are way overthinking this, like wanta said 98.6% chance they were hookers.

     
    Originally Posted by Moosebabies View Post

    hookers or not, you should have asked if they had any broccoli and cheese soup in their room for barter

    rofl
  24. Lameass_ Lameass_ is offline

    WI
    United States

    Posts: 15,110
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    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:33pm) in reply to Hallettcopta

    i love how many people on here are scared of getting laid.
  25. SyphonSoul SyphonSoul is offline

    Posts: 5,005
    Joined: Aug 07

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:34pm) in reply to Lameass_

    im not sure if they were hookers or not, i am sure however that you are gay
     
  26. acp acp is offline

    Satellite Provider

    Posts: 10,875
    Joined: Sep 06

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:50pm) in reply to SyphonSoul

    If they weren't hookers, then it's a fail. If they were hookers so what, each your soup and fucking cookies and then go find some other hookers.
  27. mattg1983 mattg1983 is offline buying action

    Round Rock, TX
    United States

    Posts: 7,999
    Joined: Feb 05

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:52pm) in reply to Lameass_

     
    Originally Posted by Lameass_ View Post

    i love how many people on here are scared of getting laid.


    this, MY GOD
     12
  28. Autolobotomist Autolobotomist is offline playing air is my style? so what

    Tempe, AZ
    United States

    Posts: 10,059
    Joined: Jun 07

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:53pm) in reply to mattg1983

    Probably hookers, but I had a similar scenario on a subway platform in New York a few years ago. Just sitting there listening to some dude play guitar and sing, both badly. Make eye contact with a girl, we both cringe at each other. She comes over starts talking, finds I'm from out of town, says we need to go have drinks even though it's 2am already. We go to a bar in her neighborhood then back to her place. Coolest thing about this chick was being born and raised in Queens and she had a life size Carl Yastrzemski poster in her apartment.

    Moral of the story: even if she had been a hooker I was going where ever she wanted as you should have, dumbass.
  29. djoshaz djoshaz is offline not an Irish DJ

    Folsom, CA
    United States

    Posts: 3,032
    Joined: Jul 05

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:56pm) in reply to Autolobotomist

    welcome to the club.
  30. AMARTIN1181 AMARTIN1181 is offline

    New Haven, CT
    United States

    Posts: 10,674
    Joined: Nov 08

    Jan 30th, 2011 (1/30/2011 9:57pm) in reply to djoshaz

    hookers or not you fail. If they are hookers and they are in the elevator looking for a random dude to party with you probably could have fucked em both for like 150-200.
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