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Thought this was kinda funny

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  1. cloudyspirits cloudyspirits is offline

    Posts: 2,022
    Joined: May 06

    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:00am)

    HELL EXPLAINED
    BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT





    The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.




    The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :





    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?






    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.






    One student, however, wrote the following:






    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.





    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.





    This gives two possibilities:





    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.





    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.





    So which is it?





    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
  2. warden warden is offline

    Tucson, AZ
    United States

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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:03am) in reply to cloudyspirits

    http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

     2
  3. Johnny Slippy Johnny Slippy is offline Pudding Slut

    Philadelphia, PA
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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:05am) in reply to warden

    I have just read about a zillion e-mails like this from my Aunt Kate, so I'm at the point where I hate this stuff.
  4. Mad_Nervous Mad_Nervous is offline

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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:06am) in reply to Johnny Slippy

    pretty genius. I lol'd the whole way through...

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    pwned
  5. RATE615 RATE615 is offline

    Nashville, TN
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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:07am) in reply to warden

     
    Originally Posted by dpottz View Post

    http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

    LOOOOOOOOOL Well played
  6. ShortyJacksn ShortyJacksn is offline

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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:12am) in reply to RATE615

    obv fake. no one who goes to U of A would actually show up for a chemistry exam
  7. Mad_Nervous Mad_Nervous is offline

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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:15am) in reply to Johnny Slippy

     
    Originally Posted by Johnny Slippy View Post

    I have just read about a zillion e-mails like this from my Aunt Kate, so I'm at the point where I hate this stuff.

    It's still well written and pretty funny imo. Let Believer see that shit and see what happens.
  8. stackinsideways stackinsideways is offline

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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:22am) in reply to Mad_Nervous

     
    Originally Posted by Mad_Nervous View Post

    It's still well written and pretty funny imo. Let Believer see that shit and see what happens.

    id bet $50 he already has
     
  9. Mad_Nervous Mad_Nervous is offline

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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:23am) in reply to stackinsideways

     
    Originally Posted by stackinsideways View Post

    id bet $50 he already has

    dude got mad for sure
  10. stackinsideways stackinsideways is offline

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    Aug 30th, 2010 (8/30/2010 5:29am) in reply to Mad_Nervous

    its funny I cant deny that... its just odler than a Lady Luck joke
     
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