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  1. 1. Homer sitting church, falls alseep while Rev. Lovejoy is talking....
    *snores, head falls down and smacks the pew in front of him*
    "Damnit!"

    2. Rev Lovejoy: "It's all over people, we don't have a prayer...ayahhhhhhh"

    3. Flanders: "Hey Homey, I can see your doodle!"

    4. Krusty: "Ahhh, I thought the Generals were due!"

    5. Moe: "Ugh... you have a straight flush Homer! *choking* I'm choking on my own rage here!"
  2. right off the top of my head, here's one of my faves:
    Bart: Look, a monkey! Maybe he'll lead us to bananas.
    Homer: Or more mouth-watering monkeys.

    and another:
    Duffman: Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem.
  3. Homer: "Sometimes I think we're the worst family in town."

    Marge: "Maybe we should move to a larger community."
     
  4. My top 80 favorite Simpsons quotes are all courtesy of Ralph Wiggum. A couple of my favs are:

    Ralph Wiggum: "Me fail Engilsh? That's unpossible!"

    Ralph Wiggum: "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."

    Ralph Wiggum: "Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!" (instead of superintendent Chalmers ;)

    Ralph: "When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."

    Ralph: "Even my boogers are spicy!"
  5. more Ralph:

    in the same conversation with chalmers, when asked about lisa, all Ralph can say is 'Lisa's a girl at my school.' what a great conversation that was. [edit: he wasn't talking to chalmers, but to a detective who was investigating something at the school (don't remember what it was)]

    he's found in a locker with Milhouse on his shoulders: "We're a totem pole. Hiyahiyahiya."

    "My sash says Ultra-man!!!" He then does two roundhouse kicks.
  6. Ok, more from Ralph:

    Lisa's dancing makes my feet sad.

    Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!

    And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
  7. the one w/ the candy convention and the babysitter

    news reporter in helicopter: "and heres homer simpson sleeping in his oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers"
  8. The Simpson family sitting on the roof watching a meteor shower. Homer says, "I wish God were alive to see this."
  9. AH, another of my favorites...

    After Homer dies of being so obese in that episode where he gained tons of weight in order to be able to work at home... Marge says at Homer's funeral, "I wish they would have never invented fried cheese!"
  10. Homer: It's like that time your cat snowball died. Remember? Well what I'm saying is...all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new Jazz man!
  11. Ralph has the best lines:

    he says to a wolf while being carried away in wolfs mouth: "your breath smells like dead bunnies"
  12. LOL, similar to "My cat's breath smells like cat food.", also courtesy of Ralph
  13. right off the top of mine, when Lisa finds the Angel and it is back at their garage and she wants to have science let the facts come out, Homer says:

    "Facts? Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. Facts schmacts."

    Also, from the one they meet Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, in the beginning Homer wants to rent the boat and get a six pack. The kid with the acne who works all the different jobs says "You can't drink alcohol while operating a motorboat." Homer replies "Sounds like a bet to me."
  14. Homer while he's stoned: We have a kitchen?

    Otto: They call em fingers but I don't see them fing.......there they go
  15. *watching Bart's people*

    "Do you think my nuclear plant killed those ducks, Smithers?" - Burns
    "There's...no maybe about it, sir" - Smithers
    "*sniff* Excellent." - Burns

    "Then to the Duff Brewery" - Homer
    "Uh oh, did I say that or just think it" - Homer's Brain
    "I better think of a lie, fast!" - Homer
    "Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?" - Marge
    "Ahh!" - Homer

    the oxygen tent and jazzman ones were fuckin priceless too hahahhaha
    Thread Starter
  16. Homer to the bikers: "My wife is not a doobie to be passed around, on our wedding day I made a sacred vow to bogart her for my entire life".
  17. Fooled ya Flanders...made you think your family was dead!
  18. But they're not!
    BUT YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE!
    ...But They're not though!
    Thread Starter
  19. Homer: "You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to Clown College."

    btw I love the episode when Homer decides to become a hippie and jams out Uptown Girl in the car while trying to freak out the establishment
  20. The one where Homer is sinking in quicksand "I'll just reach down with my face and pull my legs out"
  21. top 5 all time, any show
  22. Gidders, I'll leave it to you since I would butcher it. Funniest quote from beer baron episode. between homer and bb (from far away)

    I'm sure you know it
  23. from lisa the vegetarian:

    Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Ham?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Pork chops?
    Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
    Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
  24. Homer while hunting...

    "Turkey...the only animal smarter than man"

    Homer after eating some of Chief Wiggums 5 alarm chilli (with candle wax in his mouth to numb any sensation)

    "Don't quit your day job...whatever that is hehe"

    In every 20 secs of every show there is a classic line!
  25. from when lisa becomes a vegetarian:

    "are you going to marry a carrot?"
    lisa "yes....i'm going to marry a carrot"

    also.... "you dont win friends w/ salad"
     
  26. " alcohol, the cause of and the solution to all of lifes problems"
  27. LOL

    "You're out there somewhere Beer Baron...and I'll find you" - Rex Banner

    *in the distant*
    "No you won't!" - Homer

    "Yes I will." - Rex Banner

    "Won't!" - Homer
    Thread Starter
  28. "don't cry for me, i'm already dead" - barney

    "BEER! Run it through my veins" ::connects IV to beer truck and to his arm:: - barney
  29. Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed... WOW! A BLUE CAR!
  30. Homer, giving Burns advice on how to win over his "slovenly" kind right before that: "Well, ya could stop calling me slovenly."

    C.M.B: "Yes, yes, that's the kind of pointers I need. Tell me more, fatty."

    And from when Homer becomes Burns prank monkey and he wants him to throw a pudding cup at Lenny...

    H: "But that's Lenny, he's a war hero."

    C.M.B: "Well let's decorate him then."

    (pudding thrown, hit's Lenny in the eye)

    Lenny: "Ah, that's my bad eye, I'm not supposed ta get puddin in it."

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