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Twas the week before Xmas 2011

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  1. Mr. Blonde Mr. Blonde is offline Supreme Moderator

    Georgetown, DE
    United States

    Posts: 26,918
    Joined: Sep 05

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:04am)

    Twas the week before xmas, and I'm about to get cheesy
    And share my holiday rhyme, and I make it look easy
    It's nothing that will blow your mind or make your stomach queasy
    But I can slap some shitty rhymes together, like Chris Brown and Lil Weezy

    First on my list, is OT's resident ironman
    Cause if anyone can do it, decatur217 can
    I got you a spot on the team, to help pull Santa Blonde's sleigh
    The benefits aren't that great, but you can't beat the pay

    For Donkey Kong I got you a date, with the girl in this pic
    I expect a detailed report, if you get to sleep with that chick
    Bfactor I got you a medical marijuana card, for when you are feeling sick
    And a 16x zoom HD camera, for your next creepy voyeurism kick

    For tekiller Im going to splurge, and get you a new rig
    Its got a fully stocked bar, in case you need to take a swig
    And a queen size bed, for when you wanna bang some pig
    I even had the windows tinted, so no one can see you're little twig

    A new version of photoshop, for the one & only LeftyMark
    But I took it back when I heard, what you did to that girl in the park
    She couldn't identify you in a line-up, because it was so damn dark
    But Santa Blonde knows your old account was notashark

    Pker4dummies Santa Blonde had trouble finding a gift for your ass
    Till you said you were hispanic, so I got you a lawn mower to cut my grass
    BubbaKGB I miss your contest, so I bought you a movie pass
    I'll pay for the popcorn, you pay for the parking and gas

    For OT's token blacks, Niceguy, Lord Supremo and Jaybone
    I'll even throw in sweetness, since his love of dark meat is well known
    I stole someones credit card, and I got you each an iphone
    I set the default ringtone to Highway to the Danger Zone

    Wantagolf, wackyjaxon, Socaldrew, and OneM
    My fellow OT Moderators get a vacation from all this mayhem
    They help me weed thru all the shit to find the hidden gem
    But if you got banned recently, it probably wasn't me, it was them

    Threeven and SmokeyCasino, two of the most underrated
    I don't think you've made my list before, but you'll be glad you waited
    You each get a half hour, with every chick you ever dated
    To bang the ones you loved, and kill the ones you hated

    I wanted to include jerichoholic, but I didn't know how to word it
    I put Purple Jesus on the list only cause you never heard it
    I read it back to myself out loud, but I'm drunk so I slurred it
    I was going to mention OT's most hated, but he doesn't deserve it

    Every year my balls are busted, by the legend jasmith85
    How many times does Santa Blonde have to apologise?
    I stole your idea, its not like I spit in your french fries
    I got you a box of cracker jacks, you can even keep the prize

    Santa put in some overtime this year, and worked the night shift
    So I treated myself this year, and got myself a gift
    I traded in my sleigh, for a creeper van with a wheelchair lift
    So I can drive to California and have butt secks with wowswift

    To Miss Becky, Pigalet, & tsxxx I didn't forget you
    And all the OT ladies will be happy by the time I'm through
    I figure each of you needed to have a good screw
    When I'm done with wowswift, I'll be swinging by your crib too

    A select few OT'ers have made the naughty list
    I read your confessions, and frankly Santa is pissed
    I know about the cousins you fucked, and the animals you kissed
    What the hell is wrong with you? Get help, I insist

    So Santa is getting tired, Christmas shopping is crazy
    I got so many people on my list, my minds a little hazy
    My back is killing me and I know this is kinda lazy
    But I'm getting gift cards for everyone else and I'm out like Patrick Swayze

    Whether your a fan of mine, or not particularly fond
    Whether we butt heads, or have a common bond
    Even if you send messages to people saying F Mr. Blonde
    Show me some love or props in this thread when you respond

    He bounced to his creeper van, and packed up his pipe,
    He toked and he choked and got high as a kite
    And I heard him holla as he drove out of site,
    "Merry Christmas OT, and to all a good-night!"

    Edit* older versions in the similar threads below
    Edited By: Mr. Blonde Dec 19th, 2011 at 05:06 AM
     
  2. Donkey Kong Donkey Kong is offline it's on like me

    United States

    Posts: 6,745
    Joined: Dec 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:06am) in reply to Mr. Blonde

    if i did get to sleep with kate upton then she would probably be 3rd or 4th in my rankings
    Edited By: Donkey Kong Dec 19th, 2011 at 05:08 AM
  3. Sandman_Good Sandman_Good is offline

    Salt Lake City, UT
    United States

    Posts: 6,679
    Joined: Aug 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:06am) in reply to Mr. Blonde

    well done as always.

    Merry x-mas xir.
    Edited By: Sandman_Good Dec 19th, 2011 at 05:12 AM
  4. metfan4590 metfan4590 is offline

    Quantico, VA
    United States

    Posts: 816
    Joined: Jul 08

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:07am) in reply to Sandman_Good

    First

    I haz failed
  5. GreesonEV GreesonEV is offline

    Odessa, TX
    United States

    Posts: 4,755
    Joined: May 06

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:16am) in reply to metfan4590

    Ohhhhh hoooooo hoooo
     
  6. wes_mc wes_mc is offline

    Raleigh, NC
    United States

    Posts: 2,026
    Joined: Dec 09

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:17am) in reply to GreesonEV

     
    Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

    For OT's token blacks, Niceguy, Lord Supremo and Jaybone I'll even throw in sweetness, since his love of dark meat is well known

    f u
  7. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 36,709
    Joined: Sep 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:23am) in reply to Mr. Blonde

    Excellent aka standard blondage

    I was gonna be upset that was no longer in it, but then i figured i must be so awesome and relatively old school like ess and bgx that we dont need to be mentioned. No need to say otherwise!
  8. sanzard sanzard is offline

    San Diego, CA
    United States

    Posts: 1,296
    Joined: Mar 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:26am) in reply to norcaljeff

    Mr. Blonde comes through on another great thread, well done!
     
  9. Purple Jesus Purple Jesus is offline

    MN
    United States

    Posts: 1,333
    Joined: Dec 10

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:26am) in reply to Mr. Blonde

     
    Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde View Post

    Pker4dummies Santa Blonde had trouble finding a gift for your ass
    Till you said you were hispanic, so I got you a lawn mower to cut my grass

    LOOOOOOOOOOL

     
    Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde View Post

    I put Purple Jesus on the list only cause you never heard it

    Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Edited By: Purple Jesus Dec 19th, 2011 at 05:26 AM
  10. AnonymousX AnonymousX is offline

    United States

    Posts: 10,934
    Joined: Oct 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:29am) in reply to Purple Jesus

    haha well done as usual.
  11. BubbaKGB BubbaKGB is offline The Canadian Goose

    Mississauga
    Canada

    Posts: 7,468
    Joined: Mar 05

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 5:29am) in reply to norcaljeff

    Lool, good stuff sir and thanks for squeezing me in! What movie are we seeing?

    As far as the contest goes, I've got something similar in the works, but it's still a ways off (at least a few months).
    Edited By: BubbaKGB Dec 19th, 2011 at 05:29 AM
     1
  12. feedthemfish feedthemfish is offline

    United States

    Posts: 1,778
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    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 6:23am) in reply to BubbaKGB

    GOLD JERRY! GOLD!!
  13. ScottBrewr99 ScottBrewr99 is offline

    Santa Rosa, CA
    United States

    Posts: 4,575
    Joined: Jan 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 6:44am) in reply to feedthemfish

    pretty good sir
  14. L0bstaM0bsta L0bstaM0bsta is offline OT Podcast Host

    Munster, IN
    United States

    Posts: 8,626
    Joined: Dec 06

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 6:59am) in reply to ScottBrewr99

    And awesome as always, what would I do without you sir?
  15. AnonymousX AnonymousX is offline

    United States

    Posts: 10,934
    Joined: Oct 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 7:05am) in reply to BubbaKGB

     
    Originally Posted by BubbaKGB View Post

    Lool, good stuff sir and thanks for squeezing me in! What movie are we seeing?

    As far as the contest goes, I've got something similar in the works, but it's still a ways off (at least a few months).

    kinda sucks that it's so hard to run contests w/o poker in the US. Contests were always a fun part of OT, prob one of the reasons why some people don't like OT anymore, though I guess any that came just for contests or stakes aren't ones we should want around.
  16. saxman saxman is online now

    Posts: 14,155
    Joined: Mar 06

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 12:21pm) in reply to AnonymousX

    bravo, bravo !!!
  17. bfactor bfactor is offline Server Clogger

    Posts: 22,135
    Joined: Sep 05

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 12:52pm) in reply to Mr. Blonde

    Lol, awesome as usual, well done sir.

    <3 Blonde Christmas Carols
  18. SmokeyCasinos SmokeyCasinos is offline

    CA
    United States

    Posts: 8,014
    Joined: Mar 06

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 2:49pm) in reply to bfactor

    Hey where's my Lawn Mower?

    Finally made it,,,,

    Dear Santa, please bring me a new OT Post Your Pics thread to have fresh ammo.
  19. TMLMS13 TMLMS13 is online now

    Waterloo
    Canada

    Posts: 15,983
    Joined: Dec 05

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 3:35pm) in reply to SmokeyCasinos

    6 years and counting
  20. Mr Galt Mr Galt is offline sister-in-law's a ho

    Overland Park, KS
    United States

    Posts: 9,095
    Joined: Nov 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 3:37pm) in reply to TMLMS13

    nicely done fine sir
  21. jesterwords jesterwords is offline

    Posts: 20,674
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    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 3:41pm) in reply to Mr Galt

    No one includes Canadians... this isn't the NHL
  22. cizastro cizastro is offline

    Tanzania, United Republic of

    Posts: 6,812
    Joined: Nov 08

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 4:48pm) in reply to jesterwords

    Well done. Not gonna lie, making the 2010 version was probably the pinnacle of my posting career in here.
  23. R_U_Nuts R_U_Nuts is offline

    South Bend, IN
    United States

    Posts: 7,865
    Joined: Jan 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 4:55pm) in reply to cizastro

     
    Originally Posted by cizastro View Post

    Well done. Not gonna lie, making the 2010 version was probably the pinnacle of my posting career in here.

    LOL I feel the same way but these things just keep getting better and better every year.
  24. wantagolf wantagolf is offline Moderator

    CA
    United States

    Posts: 20,349
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    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 4:58pm) in reply to R_U_Nuts

    Awesome as usual Blonde.
     
  25. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

    United States

    Posts: 16,782
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    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 6:09pm) in reply to wantagolf

  26. cmval cmval is offline

    Posts: 11,421
    Joined: Sep 06

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 7:39pm) in reply to MissBecky

    Nice job Blonde!
  27. raisethis2 raisethis2 is offline

    Homer Glen, IL
    United States

    Posts: 3,061
    Joined: Jul 06

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 8:12pm) in reply to cmval

    Well done MR. B.
  28. Mr. Blonde Mr. Blonde is offline Supreme Moderator

    Georgetown, DE
    United States

    Posts: 26,918
    Joined: Sep 05

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 9:40pm) in reply to raisethis2

    TY all <3
     
    Thread Starter
  29. LeftyMark LeftyMark is online now Boss of Birds

    MA
    United States

    Posts: 22,783
    Joined: Jan 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 11:34pm) in reply to Mr. Blonde

  30. djg23 djg23 is offline

    United Kingdom

    Posts: 5,437
    Joined: Sep 07

    Dec 19th, 2011 (12/19/2011 11:53pm) in reply to LeftyMark

    My main aim for 2012 is to make next years version
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