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  1.  
    Originally Posted by xcesswee View Post

    I'm laughing just picturing all of these fart stories.

    same lol... the one about farting in line then sticking someone with the transaction is killing me
  2. laughing at your own farts is pretty damn immature. I hope i never grow up.
  3. If you have a son and then a grandson than never.
  4. I was sitting in assembly in primary(grade) school and was really struggling to hold this one in. Anyway, the Principal finished his speech and was in the process of handing the mic to a teacher for an announcement, it came out in this moment of silence, for about 8 seconds and made the loudest rattling sound as I was sitting on the gym hardwood floor. As soon as it finished, the entire assembly burst out in laughter. Never been so embarrassed, but now I look back and think it's fuckin hilarious
  5. I've enjoyed this thread a lot
  6. farting is always the right thing to do.

  7. lol my best fart story isnt that great but ill share it anyways

    it was final semester of senior year and instead of taking a spare, i decided to take a co/ed gym class... alot of my friends I grew up with were in it, and same with the girls, we had a blast.

    anyways, one day we are sitting in "squads" (rows) for attendance, on the hardwood gymnasium floor, and a substitute teacher we had never had before, and was just rattling off names quickly and ppl would just say "here" as he named off the names. so hes going thru the lists.. "amanda? here."... scott? "here"... steven? "here"... kristin? "here".. then the teacher calls out my name and for no particular reason, i decided to announce my presence with the LOUDEST, squeakiest fart I've ever let go in my entire life.

    The best part tho, is that my fart was so monsterous, a couple girls that were sitting ahead of me jumped up and shrieked because the could FEEL my fart vibrating on the gym floor; attendance had to be interupted for like 2 mins cuz everyone was dying of laughter
  8. edit- IM A FCKIN IDIOT FOR NOT SCROLLING ALL THE WAY DOWN ON PAGE 1 FAIL
    Edited By: CCLLAAYY Sep 8th, 2011 at 07:14 AM
  9. did you climb the rope in gym class?
     
  10. Edited By: TMLMS13 Sep 8th, 2011 at 07:22 AM
  11.  
    Originally Posted by SoCalDrew View Post

    did you climb the rope in gym class?

    are ppl just gonna keep asking me on here about ropes my entire life??? jesus let it gooooo

    and yeah I did lol
  12. Title should read "Post funniest fart stories ITT"
     
  13. Just got my new apartment and invited some girls over for some drinks. Later that night im on the bed with some chick while my boy anthony is on the floor with his girl. It was a small apt. The room was pitch black to the point you couldnt see your hand in front of your face. Normally we had some sort of mood music on (a mix of Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd and 80s hair ballads), but that night Im not sure why but there was no noise except what we were making. Well at one point the girl flips around and says "do me doggy". Apparently I pushed a whole lot of air up there cause she let out this loud wet queef....and for a split second I prayed "Please tell me he didnt hear that". Before the thought finished Anthony busts out laughing hysterically. Which got me laughing just as hard....culminating in the girls calling us assholes and leaving the room, leaving us retards rolling on the floor laughing so hard tears were coming down my eyes.

    Lesson learned, queefs are as funny as farts and impossible to keep a straight face apparently. Music on from hear out.
     
  14. I did that in Thailand. Was at the hotel reception desk with my boys and let out a silent one. You know how spicy Thai food is. As soon as it came out, insta-stank. Wow it was bad. So I just walk over and sit in a chair. 5 seconds later "you asshole!" and I burst into laughter. Poor lady behind the counter had the most distraught look on her face hahahahaaaa!
  15. blonde how old are you? I always thought you were 40 with like 5 kids you dont pay for.
     
  16.  
    Originally Posted by stackinsideways View Post

    blonde how old are you? I always thought you were 40 with like 5 kids you dont pay for.

    38, 2 kids i pay for everyday of my life unfortunately. FTR that story happened in 1992
     
  17. ya I was being sarcastic with the you dont pay for your kids shot.


    thought you were a little older than that last post eluded to
     
  18. I heard somewhere that the average human expels about 1 liter of gas a day. Farts are pretty cool, we just taught my 7 year old niece what a dutch oven is this past Sunday. We were at a BBQ at my mom's house and it came up in a convo and she was like "What is that?" Ah, good times.
  19. Would you laugh if someone farted at a funeral? I probably would.
  20.  
    Originally Posted by Lameass_ View Post

    farting is funny except when youre by yourself.

    Not true I laugh When I'm alone and it's one of them Long Ass Gigantic ones that could like shake the shingles off the roof .. I laugh my Ass Off .. And then thank god no one was around to hear it Cause they would think I was born in a Misguided lab experiment..

    Edited By: Jokerluelz Sep 8th, 2011 at 01:12 PM
  21. I have heard stories about people farting in the little tubes at the bank drive- thru. That would be hilarious.
    Thread Starter
  22. A+ thread fart stories are amazing and always hillarious

    I love ripping ass in a packed mens room at a sporting event I find it incredibly hillarious
  23.  
    Originally Posted by LizardBoy View Post

    I have heard stories about people farting in the little tubes at the bank drive- thru. That would be hilarious.


    Welp, looks like I know what I'll be getting arrested for today. That's fucking hilarious.
  24.  
    Originally Posted by El Burro View Post

    Welp, looks like I know what I'll be getting arrested for today. That's fucking hilarious.

    Please get this on video. It will be the next big thing. Planking, coning, and now tubing.
  25.  
    Originally Posted by LizardBoy View Post

    I have heard stories about people farting in the little tubes at the bank drive- thru. That would be hilarious.

    that is fucking brilliant. lmao
  26. It stops being funny when your penis is removed by the doctor.
     
  27. When I was a little kid, my older brother had a friend over and he was recording farts on my tape recorder. It looked like this



    Long story short, he ended up shitting on my tape recorder.