My typical teenaged daughter has the bad habit of not tidying up after herself when she runs out the door, late for whereever she is going...

Yesterday, after she rushed out to get to work, I followed along the trail she had left behind her of dropped towels, lights left on, cupboards left wide open, until I, unceremoniously, dumped the clothes she had changed out of back in her room. Whilst there I noticed, as usual, she had left her laptop running with about 12 MSN convos going. We have discussed this before (and all the other issues that show a lack of consideration) and I have told her this annoys me because it slows down the rest of us on our home network...

Anyhoo, as I was shutting her 'puter down, I got to read her discussion with some random friend about getting high. How she prefers bongs to joints. How she cant wait to get her next choof. There was a discussion on the relative merits of filters torn from ready made cigs as compared to those made from a bus ticket (apparently the bus ticket ftw). The dialogue ended when she proclaimed she didnt want to do it too much in case HER SKIN BREAKS OUT...

Now before anyone tears me a new one for being an uptight old fart, a hippocrit and a blind old fool, let me say I am not surprised she likes a smoke, nor particularly horrified. We dont smoke anything. We both used to smoke ordinary cigs whilst she was growing up. We also used to smoke the odd bong before she was born.

I have two issues. Firstly, should I try and talk to her about it ? I mean I dont want to push her into something harder becos I am NOT horrified but I would like to talk about safety stuff. Secondly, can I raise it at all given the way I came across the info ?

Cliff notes;

1.Dad has discovered 19 yr daughter is doing dope when he read an MSN convo on her puter whilst she was out.

2. Should he raise safety issues ?

3. Can he raise at all having found the info in that way ?

4. If you think I'm gonna post pics of my 19yr old daughter on here, you are sadly mistaken

kids just want to rebel and if you push her to much she will just want to do it more. You really want to screw with her mind, pack a bowl in front of her and say you want to smoke with her. She will think its less cool.

First, if she is still living under your roof, you have an obligation to discuss this with her. I realize that alot of the OTers here smoke weed and that's ok. It is up to them, but this is your daughter. If you are ok with the weed, then tell her so, but just make sure it doesn't lead to other harder things.
Second, if she doesn't want you to know her business, then next time, she will close the laptop. You weren't snooping, you just stumbled across it.

Pics are kinda crucial for me to give a logical and precise opinion, but ill try without...

Im 20 and my parents have always been mad cool about stuff as long as I keep my head on straight and get shit done. Perfect example is like JR and SR year in HS my mom would always alweays always wake me up even though she KNOWS I Have an alarm set in the morning. And some days Id just wake up and be like yea Im gunna go to the beach instead of school and shes like alright well have fun make sure you dont miss a lot... so I had freedom to do a lot whcih is what kept me from making stupid mistakes and "rebelling" so to say I think.

And just yesterday I was in tampa and in a shitty mood on the phone with my mom and i was like yea well im gunna go smoke lots of bowls or marijuana to my dome and she was like alright well be safe ill tty tomorrow and we hung up everything was cool.
I think you should talk to her be like its ok that you do it i dont mind, everyone does it and theres not anything really wrong with it, just DONT let it affect your goals and your life. Allow it to be something fun to relax with but dont let it get in the way of school or work. She will respect you a lot for giving her her freedom and letting her do something that some parents would probably flip the fuck out over. IMO let her be herself and find herself and as long as shes not hurting herself or anyone else, which shes definitely not by chiefing and evertying will be fine, if anything make your relationship better with her.

And btw by noooooooooooo circumstances what so ever tell her you read her shit. Shes gunna be pissed as would any kid that their parents were going through their personal conversations and things. Just a bad idea imo. And dont sweat small stuff like leaving clothes arounfd just ask her to pick them up when she gets home and tell her youre not going to pick up after her and that she needs to try and at least keep it to her room nawmean.

GL and post some pics immed its OT law my man :)

1.) she broke a rule you've set by leaving laptop on draining bandwidth.
2.) your house, your rules. She's an adult, she doesn't like it she can get out.

FWIW, I had almost the same exact thing happen when my son was 17. He left a convo open on IM (although on family computer in family room) which I saw. At that point I was obligated to talk to him about the safety aspects, esp driving impaired. It hit home a bit harder since he and his brother were almost killed by an impaired driver a few years prior.

When I was doing it 25 years ago we referred to weed as dope - the terms were interchangeable - might be an australian thing, dunno

If you think I'm gonna post pics of my 19yr old daughter on here, you are sadly mistaken


this is fine. i will post a pic of what your daughter may or may not look like

this is what google found

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD width=21><SPACER width="22" type="block"></TD><TD vAlign=bottom><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD><H1>19 YR OLD AUSTRALIAN GIRL LOOKING FOR WORK</H1></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
</TD><TD vAlign=bottom align=right>Ad ID: 94470883
Visits: 239 </TD><TD width=20><SPACER width="20" type="block"></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> <TABLE width="100%" border=0 valign="top"><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=top><SCRIPT language=JavaScript src="http://include.classistatic.com/include/c3js/classifieds/rel1/skype2.js" type=text/javascript></SCRIPT> <SCRIPT language=VBscript> Function isSkypeInstalled() on error resume next Set oSkype = CreateObject("Skype.Detection") isSkypeInstalled = IsObject(oSkype) Set oSkype = nothing End Function </SCRIPT> <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=top>Address: Sydney, NSW View map
Location: Sydney
Date Listed: 16/12/2008
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Hi im Jessica from Eastern suburbs of Sydney
I am looking for a postion in a bar or liquor store, i have my rsa and rcg, if you have an availble postion for me around that time please dont hessitate to email me and i will get back to you
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i would have a chat about harder drugs and stuff shit on how you found out, as i did with my own kids who are that age as well.

shes 19...not < 18

leave it alone you aint got shit anymore.