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What do you tell your 3 year old...

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  1. MrPinksTip MrPinksTip is offline

    Aviston, IL
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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 4:59pm)

    when you have to put your dog down? Yesterday we had to put my 11 year old lab down. My son is 3 and loved that dog. I don't know what to tell him. He obv doesn't understand death. I don't want to tell him anything that will scare him. That dog was one of my best friends. I had him before I met my wife. Fuck this sucks.
  2. Luho Luho is offline

    Columbia, MO
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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 5:01pm) in reply to MrPinksTip

    Do you lie here? Tell him you sent him to a doggy nursing home so he can have constant care. IDK. As long as you're willing to lie, there are PLENTY of options.
     
  3. Stopthatquit Stopthatquit is offline

    Bothell, WA
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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 5:12pm) in reply to Luho

    Rough day man. I feel for ya
  4. Popperhead Popperhead is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 5:17pm) in reply to Stopthatquit



    Go rent it
    Edited By: Popperhead Apr 16th, 2011 at 05:17 PM
  5. 2Slick4u 2Slick4u is offline

    Atlanta, GA
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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 5:39pm) in reply to MrPinksTip

    Reality can be brutal, especially to a 3 year old. Yet somehow the idea of telling him something untruthful doesn't hit me as being the best way to handle this either. Maybe just tell him the truth, the dog had reached the end of a long and happy life and had to be put to sleep. If what you tell him prompts him to ask more questions, as gently as possible let him know death is part of life for everything and everybody.

    Being gentle but truthful will help you add the really, really big life-lesson to his mindset that death is just how nature works, so it is very important to appreciate every thing in life, every person, every day and every moment, to live it to the full while you can because you only have a certain amount of time to be in this world.
    Edited By: 2Slick4u Apr 16th, 2011 at 05:42 PM
    Reason: LOL at my dumbass...go get the movie ffs.
  6. timthegem timthegem is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 5:57pm) in reply to 2Slick4u

  7. Moonlight Graham Moonlight Graham is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 6:01pm) in reply to timthegem

    sorry to hear pink :(

    Just tell him the dog is with jesus now.
  8. s1nnr s1nnr is offline will stab you

    Philadelphia, PA
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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 6:02pm) in reply to Moonlight Graham

    just get em a new one
  9. kidrockin kidrockin is offline cro magnon

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 6:05pm) in reply to s1nnr

    doggie heaven ftw
     
  10. Milo Milo is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 7:08pm) in reply to kidrockin

    Whatever you do, do NOT lie to the kid. Ann Landers had a great thing years ago about how pets wait for their families in pet-Heaven, and when their owners arrive they all go together through the Pearly Gates.
  11. timthegem timthegem is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 7:14pm) in reply to Milo

    Wait, your point is that Ann Landers lied, right?
  12. cchan cchan is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 7:17pm) in reply to timthegem

    he ran away.
  13. Moonlight Graham Moonlight Graham is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 7:17pm) in reply to cchan

    Are you guys talking shit on Ann Landers itt? wth
  14. Milo Milo is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 7:59pm) in reply to timthegem

     
    Originally Posted by timthegem View Post

    Wait, your point is that Ann Landers lied, right?

    Another tired atheist?
  15. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 8:05pm) in reply to kidrockin

     
    Originally Posted by kidrockin View Post

    doggie heaven ftw

    this.
  16. RichardHurtz RichardHurtz is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 8:08pm) in reply to MrPinksTip

    Sorry for your loss.
    Tell the kid half the truth and have him watch the movie.
    I don't think I would explain death to the 3 year old. Waste of time and scare the crap out of him.
  17. timthegem timthegem is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 8:08pm) in reply to Milo

     
    Originally Posted by Milo View Post

    Another tired atheist?

    What are you talking about? Read what you posted. It makes zero sense.
  18. DWare94 DWare94 is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 8:09pm) in reply to timthegem

    =(
     
  19. markeckert2000 markeckert2000 is offline

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    Apr 16th, 2011 (4/16/2011 8:13pm) in reply to kidrockin

     
    Originally Posted by kidrockin View Post

    doggie heaven ftw

    This. We just had to put our dog down last Friday, and our 3 1/2 yo was a little confused. Told her that Guinness was staying at the vet, and wouldn't be coming home, cause she was sick, and she was going to doggie heaven.
    Not 100% sure she totally understands, but earlier this week, my wife and I were talking about Guinness, and Kaitlyn chimes in "Oh..she's in doggie heaven right now".

    And sorry to hear about your dog. Always tough times.
    Edited By: markeckert2000 Apr 16th, 2011 at 08:14 PM
  20. poumi554 poumi554 is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 1:40am) in reply to markeckert2000

    Doggie Heaven seems like the best bet. Sucks, losing a pet is tough! Kid will be more resilient than you think. Kids are tough!
  21. PoWdA PoWdA is offline Waco nuthugger

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 1:41am) in reply to poumi554

    Damn... My son is 3 and my dog is like 9. Would hate to have to put her down and have no idea what we would tell him.
  22. freeworld777 freeworld777 is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 1:43am) in reply to PoWdA

    He's 3, you tell him nothing and 3 days letter when he's forgotten about the dog you thank God he isn't 6.
  23. tekiller tekiller is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 1:45am) in reply to freeworld777

    still remember bein in my teens and my uncles dog jake died. fing awesome dog a bunch of the family shedded tears over him.

    i still remember working cattle and that dog running em up the chute for us. tried teaching other dogs that none got it and i ended up being the one running the cattle up the chute.

    rip jake
  24. kowboy8686 kowboy8686 is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 3:02am) in reply to MrPinksTip

    tell him the truth bro. its always best. sorry to hear this. ohh and let him know youre hurt over it. it will all work for the best. lifes realitys seem worse if we feel we have to cover them up with half truths.
  25. LDM LDM is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 3:03am) in reply to kowboy8686

    by 4 he won't remember.
  26. kowboy8686 kowboy8686 is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 3:05am) in reply to tekiller

     
    Originally Posted by tekiller View Post

    still remember bein in my teens and my uncles dog jake died. fing awesome dog a bunch of the family shedded tears over him.

    i still remember working cattle and that dog running em up the chute for us. tried teaching other dogs that none got it and i ended up being the one running the cattle up the chute.

    rip jake

    a blue heeler?
  27. SpankyHamm SpankyHamm is online now

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 3:09am) in reply to kowboy8686

    You have to be careful that you don't associate things with the death. Saying stuff like "he was sick" could lead to your child worrying that when mommy or daddy are sick they are going to die, or worse yet if they are sick they are going to die. You also want to make sure that he doesn't become afraid of getting another pet because that pet will die as well.

    I haven't seen it suggested - but could you do the "he ran away" story at this age, and then when he gets a little older, let him know what really happened (maybe 8-9 years old).
     
  28. tekiller tekiller is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 3:16am) in reply to kowboy8686

     
    Originally Posted by kowboy8686 View Post

    a blue heeler?


    mutt, he was part border collie we think
  29. Mr323 Mr323 is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 3:24am) in reply to SpankyHamm

    Completely agree that association with "sick" might form a bias at this young age. It depends on how you explain other things to him. Are you honest about serious questions he asks? Does he ask serious questions? Just be yourself and say what you want to say as a father, your instinct will lead you to what to say, trust in it.

    Sorry for your loss :(
  30. MrPinksTip MrPinksTip is offline

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    Apr 17th, 2011 (4/17/2011 5:01am) in reply to SpankyHamm

    Thanks everyone for the comments. I'm still having trouble with it. We were gone all day. We took him to Banana Joes and wore him out. I know he will most likely forget but he's not your normal 3 yr old. He has a steal trap memory. The other day my he asked my wife where she goes when she goes to work and she said St. Louis. And he said "you mean where the zoo is." We haven't been to the zoo since last summer.

     
    Originally Posted by SpankyHamm View Post

    You have to be careful that you don't associate things with the death. Saying stuff like "he was sick" could lead to your child worrying that when mommy or daddy are sick they are going to die, or worse yet if they are sick they are going to die. You also want to make sure that he doesn't become afraid of getting another pet because that pet will die as well.

    I haven't seen it suggested - but could you do the "he ran away" story at this age, and then when he gets a little older, let him know what really happened (maybe 8-9 years old).

    The whole association with death thing is what I'm worried about. He's very intuitive and he will make the connections. I'm going to tell him so version of the truth tomorrow.
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