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why get married?

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  1. djoshaz djoshaz is offline not an Irish DJ

    Folsom, CA
    United States

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:35pm)

    I'll keep it short.

    Been together since High School. I'm 25 now and we've been together a little over 8 years.
    Just bought our first house last month. She's getting impatient with the whole proposal/wedding
    standoff. I want to marry her, it's just really something that I'm in no rush to do and I've managed to just laugh it off for a couple years. Suck it up and get it over with?

    OT solutions are the only way to go IMO
  2. Niceguy Niceguy is offline I will find you.

    NV
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:37pm) in reply to djoshaz

    you get married if she is pregnant.
  3. jesterwords jesterwords is online now

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:38pm) in reply to djoshaz

    was with wife since 18, when got to 25, gave her ring, spent 2 years engaged, then got married.
  4. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:38pm) in reply to djoshaz

    Do you plan on it someday? Doesn't sound like it. I still think 25 is too young. JMO
  5. mathclub mathclub is offline

    New Zealand

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:38pm) in reply to djoshaz

    ouch .. tough spot.

    Why don't you want to marry her? You'd think if you'd been together that long then you would be into it??
    2
  6. ringoffire ringoffire is offline

    NC
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:38pm) in reply to djoshaz

    quit being a bitch and propose. the idea of being with a chic for 8 years and not marrying her is retarted.
  7. Customflip Customflip is offline

    Oceanside, CA
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:38pm) in reply to djoshaz

    I say if you can't see yourself with anyone else (besides alba obv) Then go for it.
  8. Rocket Surgeon Rocket Surgeon is offline & brain scientist

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:38pm) in reply to djoshaz

    *Que wait until you are ready post.

    I expect to be in the same boat in a couple years. I think the best thing to do is talk to her, and tell her that it will be better for the both of you when you are both comfortable with the decision.
  9. hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl is offline

    Albuquerque, NM
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:39pm) in reply to djoshaz

    well, i suppose that in her eyes at this point, she's wondering... why AREN'T we married?

    i dunno, i have always said i didn't want to get married. but that's because i've only been with guys who i realized i didn't want to marry.
  10. JoeHead JoeHead is offline

    Grand Haven, MI
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:39pm) in reply to djoshaz

    Keep laughing it off and she will have another mans jizz all over her face.... Take the plunge dude, you're already on the diving board
  11. timthegem timthegem is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:39pm) in reply to djoshaz

    why bother? she will just up and run off to some silk-throated forum poster in Canada someday
  12. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

    MA
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:42pm) in reply to djoshaz

    If you are serious about this girl and plan on marrying mer someday then get the process going. It will make things a lot easier getting her off your back and you look so much better to all of her friends.
  13. mathclub mathclub is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:42pm) in reply to Niceguy

    be like me and have a 20 yr old gf when you are 29. that why, she's too young to think about it and the shit never comes up.

    :)
    2
  14. djoshaz djoshaz is offline not an Irish DJ

    Folsom, CA
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:43pm) in reply to ihaterats

    I absolutely plan on it. It's just the whole event/ordeal that I guess I'm just being lazy about and don't want to hassle with it. I'm not in a position where it's like a demand on her part so I continually manage to hold out. It has nothing to do with making sure she's the "right one" (great buttsecks). I just don't see a HUGE difference in where we're at now and getting married.
    Thread Starter
  15. Claw1980 Claw1980 is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:43pm) in reply to djoshaz

    i was in a pretty similiar situation 6 1/2 years together and more than half of it living together before she finally convinced me....even sitll the post married life has been slightly different(ive only been married a year granted), but nowhere near different enough to warrant not doing what the girl wants. if you are like me and aren't a fan of weddings or the idea of being the center of fucking attention in one, well it's not as bad as envisioned.
     
  16. mathclub mathclub is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:44pm) in reply to djoshaz

    well trust me, she does see a big difference.

    if it's not that big a difference to you, then you might as well do it as it will make her a LOT happier
    2
  17. djoshaz djoshaz is offline not an Irish DJ

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:44pm) in reply to timthegem

    I guess I can see where if it makes a much bigger difference to her than me then just go for it. I've never really seen it that way and it's become a big joke between our families.

    I guess it's time to start shopping for rings......
    Thread Starter
  18. gosalukis83 gosalukis83 is offline

    Murphysboro, IL
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:49pm) in reply to djoshaz

    If she loves you and wants to be with you then she will wait until you are ready.

    Make sure you are 100% ready until you do man. Marriage isn't something to do just to make the other person happy. You need to make yourself happy with the decision before you worry about making her happy with the decision.

    And IMO, fuck her if she doesn't understand that you are not ready.
  19. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:50pm) in reply to mathclub

    mathclub is right. BTW she will do all of the arraingments.
  20. hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:51pm) in reply to mathclub

    everything you just said about why you don't want to get married right now is what i have been telling my boyfriend for a couple years... and i've been telling him that because i knew i wanted to leave. she just probably wonders why you won't do it, if in your opinion it won't change anything.
  21. jerichoholic jerichoholic is offline

    Bad Axe, MI
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:52pm) in reply to Rocket Surgeon

    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>Re(3): getting married... don't worry, it's about straight marriage, you homophobes ;)
    by agriffrod on 6/13/2006 13:53 </TD><TD><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD></TD><TD></TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>wait until you are ready, the time will come. everyone is unique, if marriage scares you right now, don't do it, wait. this isn't something someone can really give you advice on </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
  22. Mr. Blonde Mr. Blonde is offline Supreme Moderator

    Georgetown, DE
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:55pm) in reply to gosalukis83

    Mine bitched for a wedding and I bought her a car...that shut her up for about a year.
    Then she started again, and I bought her a house. That was good for another year. She started again and I got her a dog. That didnt last as long, as she started bitchin and I bought her the ring thinking I had a good 2 years to hold off. Little did I know my family and hers already had plans in the works and 5 months later I was married.

    Just hold off on the ring and keep buying her shit to make her forget about the wedding.
     
  23. Rocket Surgeon Rocket Surgeon is offline & brain scientist

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:57pm) in reply to jerichoholic

    ty ty ty jeri
  24. mathclub mathclub is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 9:59pm) in reply to ihaterats

    that's right, she'll organise it all. chicks like to do that sort of stuff. do it properly though, with a good proposal and all, or you'll just get yourself in trouble.
    2
  25. djoshaz djoshaz is offline not an Irish DJ

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 10:00pm) in reply to hyacinthgirl

    I mean I get all the legal jargon that changes etc...

    I just don't get the hype I guess. I'm not like set against doing it, I'm just not motivated to jump into planning this big ordeal that lasts 24 hours.
    Thread Starter
  26. djoshaz djoshaz is offline not an Irish DJ

    Folsom, CA
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 10:03pm) in reply to mathclub

    I certainly hope so. I just need to know the time/place so that I can make sure I bubble by then.
    Thread Starter
  27. Willywoo Willywoo is offline

    Colorado Springs, CO
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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 10:35pm) in reply to djoshaz

    "BTW she will do all of the arraingments."

    Arraignments are to sentencing as engagements are to marriage.

    You will find out what lies ahead.
  28. sol160 sol160 is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 10:50pm) in reply to Mr. Blonde

    i was with a girl for 6 years. she treated me good, never bitched about anything. she wanted a ring and i kept putting it oof, figuring i'll get around to it and she wasen't going anywhere. she ended up getting tired of waiting and left. worst mistake i made. if you plan on doing it, then do it, if not then leave. shit or get off the pot.
  29. jtown1010 jtown1010 is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 10:54pm) in reply to Willywoo

    Nice SAT analogy dickhead
  30. Jeff_ Jeff_ is offline

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    Apr 23rd, 2007 (4/23/2007 11:09pm) in reply to djoshaz

    Why do people get married, theres no real up side to it if you don't have or arent having a kid. Chances are if you do get married, she'll let herself go, gain a bunch of weight and not take care of herself (no real reason to unless she plans on getting rid of you or is looking to cheat), then a few years after that, you'll both get fed up with each other and she'll leave you and take your money + the house.

    Just pointing out the down side, gl sir~
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