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You might be a liberal if...

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  1. BigBadDevil BigBadDevil is offline

    San Diego, CA
    United States

    Posts: 3,827
    Joined: Jan 06

    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:41am)

    <table dir="ltr" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td valign="top"><h1 align="center">You Might Be A Liberal If....</h1>

    You Might Be A Liberal If:

    If you think the best way to care about a disease is to wear a ribbon...

    If you think that pouring blood on a $1,500 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but if anyone protests outside an abortion clinic, they're extremists...

    If you think the New York Times is fair and balanced, but Fox News is ultra right-wing...

    If you say "we" won the Cold War, but you opposed everything Ronald Reagan did to win it...

    If you burned all your "RUSH" records out of principle when Mr. Limbaugh's show went nation-wide in the late 80's...

    If you believe that the people in the fly-over states are ignorant idiots yet think that high-school dropout actors are political geniuses...

    If you can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy...

    If you think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese...

    If you think Jimmy Carter's face should be on Mount Rushmore...

    If you think the Flat Tax rate should be 95%...

    If you've considered trading in your SUV for a Yugo..

    If you'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock...

    If you would accept a car ride from Ted Kennedy...

    You think homophobia is a far worse social disease than herpes.

    You think Hillary and her village are better off raising your kid than you.

    You speak out on the "evils of corporate America" but spend a great deal of your time at Starbucks.

    You think the military ought to be holding bake sales to pay for weapons.

    Your chest is scratched like one of Freddy Kruger's victims after hugging to many trees.

    Your favorite Marx brother was Karl.

    You take pride in owning a VW bus rather than a 2004 SUV (and still owe 10 more payments).

    You think that a few more months of U.N. sanctions and Saddam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.

    You think anyone who doesn't find Will & Grace funny is a homophobe.

    You think that it's wrong to execute a convicted serial killer, but abortion on demand is a constitutional right.

    You think it was a stretch for Rob Reiner to play a liberal in "All in the Family".

    You believe in more conspiracy theories about Bush than the X-files could come up with.

    You think the black middle class was just a myth started by Newt Gingrich.

    You pray to "The Woman Upstairs".

    You really believed Al Gore invented the internet.

    You looked at Yassir Arafat as a "man of peace".

    You think that Bush is a flip-flopper, but Kerry is the epitome of consistency.
    </td></tr></tbody></table>
  2. 2 Guns up 2 Guns up is offline

    Yonkers, NY
    United States

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:43am) in reply to BigBadDevil

    YOU MIGHT AN IDIOT IF YOU DONT REALIZE THIS GUY IS BLIND.........

    http://www.wonkette.com/politics/med...deo-180777.php
  3. jasmith85 jasmith85 is offline

    United States

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:44am) in reply to BigBadDevil

    I didnt read them all but even if you are liberal you have to admit this one is pretty good:

    If you burned all your "RUSH" records out of principle when Mr. Limbaugh's show went nation-wide in the late 80's...
  4. dedheadsteve dedheadsteve is offline

    Las Vegas, NV
    United States

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:45am) in reply to jasmith85

    <CENTER> <H1>You Might Be a Conservative</H1></CENTER>
    <CENTER> <H3>by Chris Gladish</H3></CENTER><PRE>You might be a conservative if: * You watch the Rush Limbaugh show the same way your kid watches "Barney and Friends" * You believe an adulterer who served his wife divorce papers while she was in the hospital and later had to be taken to court for lack of child support payments named Newt when he talks about how he's for "Family Values" * You complain about the "liberal media" on any of the numerous conservative political TV/radio talk shows. * You have a bumper sticker that says "Insured by Smith and Wessen" * You believe the hole in the ozone layer to be a myth created by crazy liberals. * You believe the Holocaust to be a myth created by crazy liberals. * You fervently speak about the evils of marijuana at social gatherings with a vodka straight in hand. * You believe the Constitution states the Christianity is our official religion. * You molest campaign workers, then lie about it on national television... oops, my mistake... that's "You might be Newt Gingrinch if.." * You think the words feminist and lesbian are synonyms. * If you fit any of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if..." * You believe every man, woman, child and fetus should be armed to the teeth with AK-47's, hand grenades, handguns, and any other weapon imaginable. * You actually believe that people actually own AK-47's for "hunting purposes" * You have faith in idiotic economic policies such as "trickle down economics" * You don't see why everyone's so down on Mark Fuhrman. * You think that Michaelangelo's David should be wearing boxers at the least. * The hostess at the Sizzler knows you by name. * You have a button that says "I'm not prejudice, I hate everyone" * You can ask your daddy to bail you out when you lose hundreds of thousands of dollars from embezzling S&L's * Your main source for news is an egocentric man named Rush who distorts facts consistantly to fit his views and opinions. * You want to find another out-of-work actor to play the figurehead for the Republican party (perhaps Bonzo's free) * Your response to anything Bill Clinton says includes a reference to Arkansas hillbillies. * You still attempt to defend Dan Quayle's intelligence. * You get offended if someone is unusually quiet on the way to a funeral... oops, sorry, my fault again... thats another "You might be Newt Gingrinch..." * You refuse to talk to your sister because she's a lesbian... dangit, sorry...once again, another "You might be Newt..." * You obsessively impose your own morality upon others. * You wish to ammend the Constitution to make desecration of the flag illegal. * You wish to rewrite the first ammendment to make desecration of the flag illegal. * You wish to rewrite the first commandment to make desecration of the flag illegal (and here, you thought you were such a good Christian...) * You believe that if parents and teachers don't mention sex to a child until s/he is 25, then s/he won't even know it exists until then. * You think Clarence Thomas is a good spokesman for the black community. * You must first don rubber gloves before shaking hands with a homosexual. * You attribute the lack of close families to Murphy Brown. * You helped to ban Beavis from saying "fire", yet keep a loaded handgun in the house (doesn't matter if it's hidden.. your kid knows where it is, trust me.) * You have a sticker saying "Guns don't kill people, people do" (and I suppose those little bullet things are harmless too) * You believe that everyone else should hold the same moralistic and political views as you, and by God, you're going to see to it that they do! and finally... * You believed anything on the previous "You might be a liberal if..." list. </PRE> <HR>
  5. BigBadDevil BigBadDevil is offline

    San Diego, CA
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:45am) in reply to jasmith85

    i like this one

    "You think that a few more months of U.N. sanctions and Saddam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player."
    Thread Starter
  6. dedheadsteve dedheadsteve is offline

    Las Vegas, NV
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:47am) in reply to dedheadsteve

    Man this is dated though still true. Let me find a more recent one.
  7. MUPokerPlayer MUPokerPlayer is offline

    MO
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:48am) in reply to jasmith85

    oh, 2guns, give it up... posting the same story in five threads is enough... now you gotta make it 6 threads?

    yes, it was idiotic of him
  8. 2 Guns up 2 Guns up is offline

    Yonkers, NY
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:49am) in reply to MUPokerPlayer

    had a bad link in the others.

    yes he is fkin moron to the highest degree.
  9. BigJohn804 BigJohn804 is offline

    Midlothian, VA
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 1:00am) in reply to 2 Guns up

    Yeah, 2 Guns, whenever someone is wearing sunglasses the safe assumption is that they are definitely blind. So obvious...

    gg sarcasm
  10. jmaltz jmaltz is offline

    Denver, CO
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 1:00am) in reply to MUPokerPlayer

    Any time he opens his mouth something idiotic is bound to come out.
  11. MUPokerPlayer MUPokerPlayer is offline

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 1:01am) in reply to jmaltz

    ditto for you
  12. jasmith85 jasmith85 is offline

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 1:02am) in reply to jmaltz

    Anytime Gambowler opens his mouth something big and fleshy is bound to go in.
  13. Seykota Seykota is offline

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 1:04am) in reply to BigBadDevil

    Classical liberalism rocks.!
  14. 2 Guns up 2 Guns up is offline

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 1:06am) in reply to BigJohn804

    bigjohn, there was no sun out..........usually when their is no sun out and someone is wearing sunglasses that could be quite the indicator the person may be blind. Especially when you are at a LIVE press conference in front the president that could be a hint to take the glasses off as soon as you sit down. Regardless the president should just answer the questions and not talk about the persons look or what they are wearing because that could result in making him look like a bigger fool than he is (which happend).

    gg
  15. BigJohn804 BigJohn804 is offline

    Midlothian, VA
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 2:04am) in reply to 2 Guns up

    gg what?

    gg you believing that if a person is legally blind that they have to wear sunglasses?

    gg you, along with the online liberal establishment, thinking that the president joking with a member of the press corps was some kind of insulting faux pas?

    gg that your above statement of "usually when their is no sun out and someone is wearing sunglasses that could be quite the indicator the person may be blind" actually makes anyone reading it dumber for having seen it?
  16. jmaltz jmaltz is offline

    Denver, CO
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 2:07am) in reply to BigBadDevil

    You might be a liberal if you like those pesky minorities.
  17. beanie beanie is offline

    Saint Paul, MN
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 2:17am) in reply to jmaltz

    you might be a liberal if you care about anything. You might be a conservative if your nirvana is a bomb shelter.

    From my podcast tomorrow, "I woke up at noon today, I wonder when they will make a law against that."
  18. jerichoholic jerichoholic is offline

    Bad Axe, MI
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 10:43am) in reply to beanie

    rank Beanie
  19. Zee7 Zee7 is offline

    Newport News, VA
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 12:13pm) in reply to 2 Guns up

    2 guns, are all the poker players who were sunglasses INDOORS blind?

    STFU already.

    Z
  20. bigdaddy1958 bigdaddy1958 is offline

    Uganda

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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 3:48pm) in reply to jerichoholic

    trafficking fo pres
  21. JeniDaMoaner JeniDaMoaner is offline

    Fall City, WA
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 6:23pm) in reply to bigdaddy1958

    you might be retarded if you waste your time debating this liberal vs conservative bullshit?
  22. jerichoholic jerichoholic is offline

    Bad Axe, MI
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    Jun 15th, 2006 (6/15/2006 6:46pm) in reply to JeniDaMoaner

    you just did. you debated the debating.
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