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See Where You Rank in New Jersey

  1. fuck you and fuck this fucking thread. if you bet the dont you are a horrible person and i hope horrible things happen to you in addition to everyone you care about.

    niceguy can i get a witness?!
    Edited By: TheWacoKidd Oct 12th, 2012 at 08:39 PM
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  2. Dealers that won't shut the fuck up

    Slot players that uses voodoo or rub the screen when they play

    Always getting stuck behind the person getting money off their credit card at the cage

    Low limit players telling bad beat stories

    The guy at the table that berates everyone else including the dealer

    People that don't tip the dealers

    Eating a meal at the table

    Slowing down action at the table
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  3. another thing about don'ts is when you go on "your heater" youre winning much less than when youre on the do's. maybe not for everyone(ie random tourist's who are just betting 5 dollars and not pressing).

    ie, you bet the don'ts youre gonna win/lose virtually the same amount as when someone wins/loses on the passes. however, you don't(at least i've never seen) people press their don't comes. so even if you cover every number for 25/50/500 whatever, you're gonna hit that once per turn, collect you're 500+odds and then risk another 500

    On the flip side, playing the do's, i may start out with 25/30 on all the numbers. so i might have 200 on there on a turn, but if someone goes on a huge heater and, people like me who press, by the end of the turn might have 2-3k on there plus 10k in my pocket.

    really just doesn't make any sense to be a strictly don't pass player unless you go there by yourself and grind out craps on a daily basis which a. is pathetic, b. you're a miserable person nobody likes, and c. is retarded trying to grind craps lmao

    im kind of superstitious so when i feel like some don'ts or coming ill bet the dont. or sometimes if im really drunk and everyone is having fun ill just throw a min bet on pass line with no odds just so im not against everyone. but im 90% a pass line player
     
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  4. The next time I go to the casino, I'm gonna wear battery powered portable strobe light necklaces/bracelets/etc all over my body, and a portable speaker system in my pockets, and a megaphone.

    I will then look for a table that is filled to the brim with a big crowd of extremely happy, cheerful people who are celebrating loudly all together with each other that their hot streak of winning on the Pass has been going on for several times in a row.

    I will then go to that table and bet the minimum, on the Don't Pass and stare everyone down cold bloodedly at the table with hollow, dead looking eyes, sucking the fun out of everyone like a motherfucking vacuum cleaner and/or a dementor.

    Then I will wait until I win a hand on the Don't Pass, and when this happens, I will turn on all of the portable strobe lights, and turn the portable speaker system on and play Celebration by Kool & The Gang at full volume and walk around from person to person screaming "What's up now BIIAAAATCH" into everyone's ear, causing them severe, irreparable hearing damage and chronic tinnitus syndrome in their ears, leaving them sobbing in agony as well as frustration over how brutally I ruined the positive vibe of their table.

    I will then urinate on them as they writhe in agony on the ground.
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  5.  
    Originally Posted by quietwinner View Post

    im kind of superstitious

    also known as: "I'm kind of retarded."
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  6. thats basically what you are doing already by betting the dont pass. that is how the rest of the table views you anyways
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  7.  
    Originally Posted by Hughes4 View Post

    the guy who tips a 5 and has to make a big show of it.
    "that was a redbird hand!"

    lol - the guy who makes a bfd out of his tip is a real clownshoe. Also guys like Randers who stiff dealers after raking big pots are kinda tilting.
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  8. the guy who folded a monster every other hand. flop comes 9 3 A. " Oh I had 93, damnit" He somehow folds a monster every hand it seems like. I dont even think these people are trying to lie on purpose most of the time. They just forget what they actually had because their idiots. next hand flop comes 10 3 4. They lean into your ear "I had 3,4." Its like dude I dont give a flying fuck. They wanna give you a running commentary on their hand and how it compares to the board. "I would have been open ended." I'm not a confrontational person at all though so the whole time im just like "oh, alright" Or I'll say a couple words just to be cordial but all that does is encourage them to keep babbling on about every single hand they get.

    Another thing that irks me is when two guys are all in and one or both of them wont flip over their cards. They wanna see the hand played out first. I want to strangle people when they do that. Its almost like they think they're angle shooting or something. Turn your fucking cards over dude.
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  9.  
    Originally Posted by SpankyHamm View Post

    Lifts his Skull Candy from one ear, "How much?"

    As a poker dealer this one is incredibly frustrating. I understand listening to music I guess, but I hate those that are oblivious to the action. Go ahead and act cool whilst requesting I repeat myself to answer your question that everyone at the table knows the answer to.
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  10. bfactor has a social disability? I for one am shocked.
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  11.  
    Originally Posted by kellykip View Post

    lol - the guy who makes a bfd out of his tip is a real clownshoe. Also guys like Randers who stiff dealers after raking big pots are kinda tilting.


    the man has a family to feed fuck you and your judgements
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  12.  
    Originally Posted by TheWacoKidd View Post

    fuck you bfactor and fuck you everyone else that plays the dont. i hope that. 05 edge is worth losing your dignity over. people like you make me wish there were a hell, as Im positive the darkest corner would be reserved for you and your ilk. fucking die already


    +1 ya'll some bitches. FO REAL
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  13.  
    Originally Posted by Magnet Steve View Post

    bfactor has a social disability? I for one am shocked.

    I am normal. It's everyone else that is being wrong/bad. Several hundred years from now, they will realize it, and history teachers will give lectures on what a wonderful, severely misunderstood person I was, when it came to Craps betting. There will be huge statues and monuments in memorial of me all around the world, Mars, and whatever other places we have colonized by then.

    If you want, you can join me, so they'll be like "And let's not forget Magnet Steve. He will be on the exam as well, children. Memorize the fact that he was also a good person, because he sided with bfactor on the Great Craps Debate of 2012. I will be testing you on this. Write it down in your notes please, thank you."

    glglglglglgl
    Edited By: bfactor Oct 12th, 2012 at 09:20 PM
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  14.  
    Originally Posted by bfactor View Post

    My role in life is to be the buzzkill/debbie downer of -EV gambling.

    It is my destiny imo.

    It stems from my hatred of those casino managers/owners/investors/mafia/etc guys that walk around looking all sleezy/casino-ish with their hair slicked all the way from the front of the hairline perfectly backwards down to the base of their neck with the thick gel-grooves at flawlessly equidistant 3.5 millimeter horizontal intervals that go up to all the random fathers gambling away their kids' college funds and put their hand on the fathers' shoulders reassuringly to make friendly small talk and ask if they are going to the big show later that night, and how their comp'd room is treating them.

    Fuck those guys.

    edit: Just to clarify btw, my beef with those guys isn't even that they are gobbling up money from the avg american masses who don't comprehend basic probability mathematics, rather, I simply can't stand the way they look. They always wear the same excruciatingly sleazy looking suits/neckties/hairdos/body language/mannerisms, and I literally just get pissed off for some reason when I see them walking around on the floor.

    like this?

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  15. While in in Vegas, I made exactly two bets on the craps table. thereraise was playing and I had no clue what to do. I put $100 down and won $100 both times. I think I bet the pass line, but I have no idea. I hope I didnt bet the one you guys hate... cause then Ill feel like an asshole lol.
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  16.  
    Originally Posted by TMLMS13 View Post

    like this?

    As far as the hairdo and attire, yes. As far as the face, no. The ones I'm talking about have this sleazy fake-cheerful/I'm-so-accommodating-and-wonderful type of facial expression on their face. And then they walk over up behind random high rollers and gently rest their hands on those people's shoulders from behind, as if they are about to give the person a neck/shoulder massage, except without actually giving a massage, and they are like "How is everything for you this evening, is my hotel treating you well?" or some bullshit like that. Ughhh, they look like weird living-mannequins to me, like, their sleazyness is so off the charts it borders on almost making them seem like not even real actual humans anymore. It makes me want to just eat someone's face off any time I see those people.
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  17.  
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    While in in Vegas, I made exactly two bets on the craps table. thereraise was playing and I had no clue what to do. I put $100 down and won $100 both times. I think I bet the pass line, but I have no idea. I hope I didnt bet the one you guys hate... cause then Ill feel like an asshole lol.

    Why would you feel like an asshole?

    Don't you see, THEY are the ones who are in the wrong about this, they just don't know it yet.

    It's like the U.S. public's stance on black people prior to the 1960's. The vast majority was like "I hate black people."

    And if you stood up to their illogical/irrational stance on black people, they assumed that YOU must be the one who was wrong, since you were in the minority and they were in the majority.

    Then, people analyzed shit and proved to them that they were being retarded, and then like 20 years later everyone was like "Oops... I guess we were like... kinda wrong and stuff... oopsies..."

    Don't be one of those kinds of people.

    Join the correct side NOW, so then in the future when people see the light, you can be like "Weeeee, I was on the correct side back before the masses realized it was the correct side. Fuck all y'all bitches, what's uuuuuuuuuppppp" and cheer happily and pat yourself on the back about it etc.

    Be a Don't-Pass bettor. 'Tis the way of the FUTURE.

    Join me now, while you still can.

    ::holds out hand while gliding by on hoverboard:: "It's now or never baby! Do the right thing!"
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  18. Only bfactor could make a connection between a bet on a craps table, and the civil rights movement lol.
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  19.  
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    I instantly feel sorry for these woman cause its obv their bf or husband is a completely douche. Every one of them always looks miserable. Its also a huge tell that these guys are terrible and will only be around for like a hour before they go completely broke. So you got to play pots with them as much as possible.


    My wife is a massage therapist and would massage me during tournaments (not cash). Ive won tournaments and lost em with her there. Made no difference in my game. And she would ask to do it. Gets to watch and she coulda stopped whenever she wanted.


    "She's a masseuse.....she massages shiiiit"

    name that movie.
    Edited By: Sandman_Good Oct 12th, 2012 at 10:02 PM
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  20.  
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    Only bfactor could make a connection between a bet on a craps table, and the civil rights movement lol.

    Okay fine, I'll admit I may have gotten a TINY bit carried away in this thread.

    But still, you should def join the Don't Pass movement.

    I'm holding a rally next saturday, you should come and show your support for the cause.

    brb I gotta go hand out some flyers for it
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  21. agrii w/op. If I'm playing bj by myself (dirty!) and someone sits down I should know to just leave but I'm like "Well, a few more..." ...showered. the worst is the last time when I was on a tear and then this bish sits down and donks off her small roll and tips and dealer is like "see how she do, dat good" (I was waiting to tip until dealer left). made me lose a few more and just tilted me.

    hearing sob stories. Has anyone ever had some some guy start mumbling about how much he is up and how howt he's running? Of course not, it's all about "I'm down big time, buddy" and "I had 3500 a hour ago...this place...mumble." sfannoying

    how no one keeps track of your craps bets for you so I have no idea which money is mine and what it's on (craps noob fwiw, but still lol)
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  22.  
    Originally Posted by Sandman_Good View Post

    My wife is a massage therapist and would massage me during tournaments (not cash). Ive won tournaments and lost em with her there. Made no difference in my game. And she would ask to do it. Gets to watch and she coulda stopped whenever she wanted.


    "She's a masseuse.....she massages shiiiit"

    name that movie.

    This is a little different then the gf thats sitting there that looks like she wants to cry or fall asleep.
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  23.  
    Originally Posted by whitealroker View Post

    The Parx Poker Blog Douchebag.....who also plays at harrahs AC and the Borgata. Hes a fold nothing retard thats obviously staked and then fucking crys if you make a questionable call.

    People that tell me i'm the worst thing theyve ever smelled.

    People that ask me..."Hey are you readzie from pocketfives???"

    Observers have been mentioned but the one that sticks out is the FUCKING GIRLFRIEND THAT DIDNT KNOW HER BOYFRIEND WOULD BE BUSY ALL DAY


    Fuck you!!!! People who take up too much room or smell at the poker table are the worst! You knew damn well before you came to the casino that you would be sitting within inches of two other people. Take a shower! And just because you're fat doesn't mean you're aloud to cross the imaginary line that is my space. If you're too fat to fit comfortably in the same space that everyone else is getting than you should sit there and be uncomfortable. Don't sit there all spread eagle so that I have no place to stretch my legs!
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  24.  
    Originally Posted by time4badbeat View Post

    Most tilt inducing behavior is the guy at the poker table who goes to showdown and then holds his hand for 2 minutes while staring down at the board. You lost now muck your fucking hand

    I don't play table games basically ever but poker-wise this is def #1 most tilting thing, especially in tourneys where it slows the action with increasing blinds

    The other thing I hate is when two people are all-in in a tournament and one of them waits for the other person to show their hand. Just fucking show your hand, you're allin, you both have to show you retards. God this tilts me so hard, idc if i just 5bet shoved with a5s or aces just show your fucking hand and let's run out the board it doesn't matter.
    1
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  25.  
    Originally Posted by Pker4Dummies View Post

    Usually like your posts but you sound like a real "he-bitch ass neegaaahhh" right here.

    I always treat them well and almost always tip. Only time I may not tip is if I've already had a couple miniature waters that aren't worth a dollar in the first place and they have a dozen already on their tray. They make really good money for what they do as do bartenders at a busy bar. I'd be bored to death at that job (would probably enjoy bartending) but if I could walk with a couple hundred dollars cash for bringing out drinks I'd consider buying implants. Maybe I overvalue how much they make or how it gets divided but watch them rake in the money on the casino floor. That is no reason to treat the poorly and some people are dicks to them, not condoning that
    Edited By: Zeppelin Oct 12th, 2012 at 11:54 PM
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  26.  
    Originally Posted by TheWacoKidd View Post

    fuck you and fuck this fucking thread. if you bet the dont you are a horrible person and i hope horrible things happen to you in addition to everyone you care about.

    niceguy can i get a witness?!

    preach.
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  27. Not sure how this hasn't been mentioned; but easily the "can I see those cards" from someone that wasn't in the hand. Its bad enough when the winner asks to see but if you wwerent in the hand and ask to see you deserve to die. The rule is in place to prevent collusion not to be used to gain info
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  28. You whiney ass craps players sound like the same people who get upset when their friends don't bet their favorite number on the roulette table.
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  29. Only time I get annoyed in Craps is when my idiot friend hits 2 points in a row, then waits until he has dice in his hand, yells something stupid like "Roll Tide!" and immediately craps out.
     
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  30.  
    Originally Posted by TheWacoKidd View Post

    fuck you bfactor and fuck you everyone else that plays the dont. i hope that. 05 edge is worth losing your dignity over. people like you make me wish there were a hell, as Im positive the darkest corner would be reserved for you and your ilk. fucking die already

    He'd get a sharp ass elbow.
     
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