Here it goes, I hope this will prevent younger and upcoming players from making a big mistake and not only in poker but in life .

Lil bit about myself... while at Rutgers I started playing poker like many I could only breathe live and sleep poker the more I played it...after graduating I took a year off to chill, travel, work and see what I wanted to do....I was working as a waiter in this high end restaurant which was hella hard and I started going to Borgata more more , quickly moving up from 1/2 nl to 2/5 while playing 2/5 i consistantly beat the games and one day after playing all night I was supposed to drive back to north jersey to go to work, being up 1500 in the game and my bankroll being at about 5-10k i decided '' fk them and never showed up'' i'd much rather be doing this and making real good money....I quickly got to the 5/10 nl level which I was still beating at the time...My parents were pressuring me to do something else so I took the LSATS and got into Seton Hall Law school...I still played that last summer and promised myself that once school year starts I won't come here anymore because I knew I would not want to leave. I stuck to the plan didnt go to AC and did pretty well my 1st semester. 2nd semester rolled around i was getting more and more disinterested with school work, i found it boring and could not see myself ""dealing with other people's problem'' for the rest of my life , thats what I saw being a lawyer as...

During 2nd semester, I decided to go to borgata one weekend for the 1st time in like 6 months.....After my first hour of playing 5/10 nl i realized how much I loved this , and how i couldnt get enough...my 1st sesion back lasted about 24 hours (i used to always play long sessions, never wanted to leave) i turned my original 1500 buy in into 10k....after sleeping I played anothe 24 hour session making another 10k went back to sleep came back won another 10k.....and then 1more long session of turning another 1500 into 10k....I thought to myself...I fkn hate law school and I love this game and I am pretty gooood at it so I decided to quit which was an extremely hard decision since my old school jewish parents could not fathem that I can quit law school to be a gambler, no matter how hard i tried explaining to them that poker is not simply gambling and that if you are better than the ppl u r playing with you will make money and how much I loved it... they did not really care and my mom did not speak to me for about 2 years....during this time i quickly moved up to 10/25 then to 25/50 and even played a few 50/100 nl sessions... for about a year i was the biggest winner at Borgata it felt great, and being young and dumb I spent money like it was just paper. I spent somuch money on dumb shit and as karma will have it the pokergods did not like me spending money like its nothing and i frankly was becoming a young arrogant punk ...

I was getting bored with nl cash games as it became a grind and it was i guess too easy and I got introduced to limit holdem...so being a young dumby that i was with too much money to my name, i decided to play huge instead of learning the game and moving up in stakes. so, after partying all night and on no sleep I get into this short handed limit holdem game. When it started it was 100/200 i played this game for about 50 hours straight and the last 24 hours were 300/600 limit....when i went to sleep I had lost 120k.....I slept for 2 days straight and still had some good money left and just figured i'll get it back playing nl ,no big deal...boy was I wrong, the poker godz were not done w/ me..I had a routine that i'd go to borgata every thursday and leave on sunday...so , i go back thursday and that weekend i get it all in w/ a4 v AA on 442 flop for about 30k each , A on the river... i go home , next weekend I get it all in w/ AQ v KQ ( vs..the loosest asian ever) for about 20k each K on the river, i go home next weekend I flop nut flush w/ As6s on a J94 all spade flop this really rich and bad buissnman that i've been playing with for years makes a move and check raises huge i flat hoping to get it in on the turn (putting him on either smaller flush or complete air ,either way i know he's betting turn BIG) turn is 9 he checks I make a huge bet , he thinks forever and puts me all in , we get it all in for about 40k each.....river is a blank 3..he has 93 off suit...then there were a couple others... anyway enough with the preamble and the bad beat stories lets get to the real point of the post......

I had a lil money left and decided to get into tournaments , i deposited $100 onto pokerstars my 1st night i think it was like oct. 1 2008 or something like that i ft the 70k...next day i ft the 10r....couple days later i win the 1pm 109 fo...few days later my 1st 100r i play i chop HU. within next couple weeks i ft couple more tourneys.....it was a nice heater and i was loving tournaments , i got introduced to Bax/Sheets....and we agreed on a backing agreement...

I played for them for a lil over a year i believe, it was great at first eventhough i was running pretty cold in the beginning they were more than supportive never questioning any of my plays or asking for any hand histories, i ws running terrible...then things started evening out, Ive made some big ft's, made some money everything was great. I loved being able to travel playing tourneys and playing anything online/live I wanted....towards the end of the year of being with them,something occured which i'd rather not go into on here lets just say I got introduced to a bad habit....this made me extremely irritable and eventhough i did not think it effected my game it did...not only was i not playing my A game i was not running my Agame as the poker godz were punishing me for fkn w/ this habit...

bax /sheets , being very smart guys prolly noticed something was off and told me to drop down a lil bit in stakes and I was not able to play everything live in sight....at first I was very upset about it and as time went on it kept getting to me more and more fucking w/ my psyche.....and with that in back of my mind and my habit getting worse and worse I started to resent them....I played a deep stack at borgata 1stplace was 320k...i finished 12 getting it all in w/ AK v AQ for a top 2 stack , and the Q hit the river i was devastated as I suffered another bad beat deep in a big tournament...I was pretty upset, I cashed for like 13k.....the next morning I was supposed to drive down to foxwoods for the wpt series, when i requested befor ethey ok'd the 1st couple small prelims but told me they are not sure if i am playing the 10k(which i used to play on the reg)...I basically snapped, i was thinking these guy want me to drive to westbumble fuck Foxwoods to play a fkn 500 distribute the money i just cashed for and then they gonna tell me i cant play the 10k. I was upset about the beat I just took and this was a perfect match to set the fire off......

I wrote them a fucked up email saying that u guys are doing everything in ur power to make me leave ,well you got it.....I never went to foxwoods, kept the 13k and started playing on my own justifying in my head that they are assholes and deserve what they got.... A lot of ppl close to me in the poker world told me i was wrong but i truly believed that i was not and that they are the bad guys. I was on my own for over a year i believe playing cash mainly and tourneys here and there I was doing good as my '' habit'' was getting worse.......

my last trip to A.C. for the Harrahs circuit event , karma finally caught up to me... I had like 20k online which I sold while there to some1 and I had like all my cash w/ me on top of that as I was playing every event and playing the big 25/50 nl cash games at borgata at the same time, and I was supposed to get a safety deposit box during this trip so i had pretty much my whole roll w/ me.....I am not going to go into detail but the bottom line I got robbed by someone who was ''close'' to me when I was there...

For the last month and a half I have been laying in bed while detoxing and doing a lot of thinking...I always try to turn negatives into positives and I realized that this thief was God Sent since if he did not rob me, I would of never quit what i was doing as it wsa gettin wors and worse and prolly would of died... I am finally back to 100% mentally and on a clear head for the first time in like a year and half i started thinking about what happened w/ Bax and Sheets and how wrong I was....that it did not matter that they were being ''mean'' to me or they wanted me to drop down in stakes its their money and I was not entitled to take it....I recently sent them an email telling them that I know that one way or another i'll be back , i always come back, and I will pay them back that money i took....ADVICE to any backed player out there DO NOT fk your backers over ITS NOT RIGHT, advice to any person out there DO NOT FK PPL OVER its not right...I've done a lot of wrong things in my life and I am trying to be a better person and if this post stops 1 person from making mistakes I've made I am glad....Sorry for the long post.....

Cliff Notes

-Do Not Steal
-Do Not Treat PPL like shit
-Do not play games you are not supposed to
-Do not fk w/ drugs
-All you have in this world is your character , money is just paper dont do dumb shit to get it.
- I am sorry to all the ppl that told me I was wrong that I told I was right and they deserve it
- Karma sees everything and so do the PokerGodz

gl to aLL

And I doubt anyone feels bad for you.

gl gl

interesting read, gl with everything

you just got done reading Matusow's auto-biography too!?!?

Very good post. Enjoyed it, and aware of how good things can turn bad if you let them.

Rutgers represent?

good read, gl in the future

if it's cocaine you'll be ok

if it was opiates then you dont have a soul anymore and you will never beat it.

 

Originally Posted by Appst08

u know i don't like you, you know what i think about your poker skills...........BUT

GL, i hope you really do regret this and I hope your not just apologizing b/c of the friends you lost in this business. I wish you all the success and hope your change in character is for the long haul.

all the best fratboy...honestly,

Jason

Good to see there are still good people in this world. Gl to you sir.

 

Originally Posted by RunLikeAChettah

cocaine is a helluva a drug. good luck with everything

sure doesnt sound like cocaine

Did you ever pay back Bax and Sheets?

I don't know you, but genuinely commend you for posting this.

While not in person, admitting and coming forward about these decisions you've made is a huge step in the right direction. These choices you've made are clearly undesirable, but the first step to recovery (which this certainly is) is confronting and addressing these demons. I do first and foremost wish you the best of luck in recovering from drug and gambling addictions. It's a long hard road, but the help and resources are out there for you. The personal background you typed out is more than enough for me to conclude that you are smart enough to utilize said resources. Making things right with the people you've harmed along the way (parents, friends, backers) will come with the recovery process.

Hopefully people who read this realize the mistakes you've made and the kind of negative impact it's had on your life. I don't doubt for a second that you've opened the eyes of a lot of readers.

Keep in mind you never have to be alone in getting better. GL man.

 

Originally Posted by ggIFyouCALL

if i was op and i was serious about helping myself i'd move home, reconcile with my folks and explain to them that i robbed some good people of $$$ then grind out from zero on my own so i could pay the empire back. if you think even for 1 second that this post is gonna have some poker angel come drop a stake on you then you prob havent even been clean a month and need to get your mind right cause people shouldnt have to help you if you cant help yourself.

been home for a month and a half, feeling good , and have been fine w / my parents for last 3 years....

once again, i did not write this to have anyone feel bad for me... I am a big boi, i'll be alright...

really dont understand this community...

there are people out there who have done alot less wrong than fratboy who have been outcasted....fratboy flat out stole lots of money from bax and sheets, and you all are "glad hes better now"

you shouldnt title this post "advice for younger players" it should be "how to cheat and steal and somehow not be ostracized from the poker community"

like wtf.

this apology doesnt mean shit.

also, the story I've heard is you stole alot more than 13k from them.