Absolute is like playing in a dark, steamy alley behind a seafood restaurant that spews grease like the flaky spittle of a wasted, semi-toothed, scraggly-bearded hobo on a five-day Pabst Blue Ribbon bender while surrounded by a roving pack of greasy, man-raping Gypsies in search of a hydrocodone fix.

BoDog, well, substitute "Krystal's" for seafood and "Melungeons" for Gypsies, then drink pure grain alcohol, throw up on your pants and sit in your own filth for 48 hours straight.

Other than that, love those sites...But the winner is ... Doyle's Room and its imaginery connectivity issues.