You just described my life to a T, except I just have 1 young kid. I still grind 3-4 nights per week from around 8PM-2AM, mostly SGs, with a few MTTs registered for at the beginning of when I start playing. Sucks because I really want to play in the Sundays but I just can't generally sit for 10-12 hours on Sunday and play. I usually try to take 1 Sunday per month where I just say "look, I'm playing all day". I also own my own business and work from home, so not having to grind out in an office with a bunch of retarded co-workers all day obviously helps with my whole "not much sleep" thing. If you really love it(and do well at it) then find time to keep playing. It just comes down to priorities, I guess.

I am in the same boat, but I have two more kids than you do.

My advice to you is this.

Whatever you decide to do, do NOT take time away from your family. Your kids deserve 100% of you. I'm not saying this because I think you are doing it, I'm saying it because I speak from experience. Poker will always be there, in one way or another, but your kids won't.

That being said, I learned to play less MTTs and more cash or SnGs. MTTs are sexy and lots of fun to play, but I rarely have time to sit in one place for 8+ hours when I'm not at work. I wish I could count the amount of times I had to punt a huge stack later in a tourney because something came up or I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I will grind the occasional Sunday, but only when I know there isn't anything going on with the family that day.

Why are you playing MTT's late at night with a day job and family? That basically can't be done unless you want to be a zombie/die at age 55. Just grind on the weekends when you have extra time and play rush or something quick on the weeknights

Same boat , just remember you get to watch your kids grow up ONCE! poker will always be there.

Same boat here....I just got through one of the busiest times of my life as well. Two kids, a cat, a dog, a job, and all that. I've really been able to handle this only in the past year without burnout. What I do now is play the nightly 9:10M ET Super turbo and the nightly 14 super turbo for MTT's. I might occasionally play some 45 mans or 90 mans but anything above 45 has to be some form of turbo tourney. I do sway off course with a blogger tourney or a non-turbo but I pay for it the next day if I go deep. This all happens after 9:00PM as the kids are usually in bed by then...but sometimes they aren't and that changes things. There is always sit'n'gos and cash games but my heart lies with the MTT's. Another way to quench the thirst is to go for tokens on weeknights or step tourneys and get ready for a big weekend. The weekend is tough as well but every now and then I set aside a full day and go for it. You also have to cut the sign up time to 11:00PM for anything over 1 hour. That's my take and I've been playing online since 2004 in one form or another.

I have 1 kid who usually hits the sack about 7.30-8.00 after that im pretty wacked because of work so will maybe play a few sng's during week nights and then grind some tourneys on Fri / Sat night when if i go deep i dont have to get up for work.

Kinda opened my eyes a bit reading the few posts above, i never let poker get in front of my family but having so little time to watch them grow has defo hit home just now.

Thanks a lot for the feedback all! Nice to know I'm not the only late night parent grinder! I would add that Rush poker has helped me squeeze in a lot more tourneys than before. And I can always crank some Rush cash after the tourney! I RARELY have time for full blown MTT's.

I am in a very similar position - wife and 2 kids aged 1 and 4, day job which fortunately does not tend to involve working late. This is further complicated by living in Australia which means the evening MTTS here are crappy early morning ones in the US, and the Sunday majors all start early on a Monday morning.

I basically only play in the evenings when the kids are in bed, probably 3-5 nights per week. I try to make sure that the other nights I am in bed early, if we are not going out. I never now put poker ahead of doing things with the family (have in the past - not good).

The only time I ever play during the day is if Monday is a public holiday and I have the wife's approval to have a shot at a 6 figure score!

Going back to my 2nd paragraph, playing while the kids are up is massively -EV...both in terms of distractions, and the fact that this is time you should be spending with your kids. If you are working a day job then you get an hour or two in the evenings plus the weekend to spend with your kids. Poker can wait. I cannot emphasise this enough!

Good luck to all the working Dads (and Mums) out there!

EDIT: on the sleep issue, I am OK with 5-6 hrs per night as long as I do not have to get up for the kids and I get a good 9-10 hrs once in a while. Not drinking (too much) alcohol also helps a lot. I feel much less tired if I have 5 hrs sleep after not drinking than if I have had a few beers or wines.

Work + Family + Social + Poker = FAIL

Work + Family + Social = Hard to manage but Happy

My week is Mon-Fri

6am leave for work (no later than 6:20am)
arrive 1.5-2.0hr after i left
leave work 8.5-9hrs after I arrive
Arrive home 1.5-2.0hr after I leave work

So if leave home at 6 and have a good run both ways I'll get home around 6pm

My daughter(9month old) is ready for her bath around about when i get home and that is the first chance i get to spend with her. If she has had a bad day, then she'll be bathed and ready for her last feed. I'll only see her for 2 hours max a day during the week.

After that its a few minutes on the couch then i read her a couple of stories and put her to bed.

Then dinner (6:30-8:00pm is an average range) By the time Myself or Wifey has cooked, we've eaten, then the one who didn't cook cleans up its 9pm, then there is clothes to wash house to tidy. An hour to wind down and i really need to get to bed

The only time I have to play poker is if my wife goes out on a Friday/Saturday night or after She's gone to bed. I try not to sacrifice time with my family for poker. Also if I play on a Friday night, Its normally my time to look after the girl because Wife had her all week and needs a break too, so if i finish up at 3-4am, I have to suck it up in the morning at 7am when the girl wakes up.

Taking care of kids is a full time job too, and you need to give your partner a break as well. She won't always get a chance to do all the things a lot of guys expect to be done.

I play once every 2 weeks if I'm lucky and even then its only 1-2 hours at a time, but I have a great family and would never put poker in front of their needs. EVER

Same boat here. Drive an hour to and from work. Get home between 6 and 7:30 pm most nights. I have three kids so live is very busy during the week. I agree with most of the posts here that family is more important then poker. I used to play 2 or 3 night a week mostly the 180's SnG but I was worthless at work then next day and my day job is what keeps the roof over my families head. Realized that I need to pick one night a week to play. I usually play 4 or 5 MTT on Friday or Saturday nights depending what is going with family. I usually suck it up on either Saturday or Sunday depending on what night I play with about 3 to 4 hours sleep.

 

Originally Posted by Wein

Play cash or sngs...

MTTs will kill you if you have a family and a day job.

this

I'm with you Mals6. I also have a full-time job, a wife, and 2 kids. I play in the evenings when my family is asleep and in the morning when I work a later shift.

Unfortunately my family committments don't allow me to play on Sundays, like so many of you do. I found it was just too difficult to focus in these tournaments with so many distractions and the pressure from my wife and kids to be finished so we could do something as a family. Those of us that have families and careers must find some kind of balance between success at life and poker. If this means that you can't play in all the tournaments you would like, so be it.

I like to believe that making some sacrifices now will allow me to be more successful in the future. This applies to both my poker game and my role as a husband and father. Also, profitable poker has allowed me to treat my family to holidays and items that I may not otherwise have been able to afford. Playing when your tired is probably unavoidable for many of us, but we must recognize when it starts to effect either our bankroll or our health. No game is more important than your family's happiness or your health.

In the future, maybe we poker players that have managed to balance all of these things will become the next force in the game. I would like to think so. And if not, then the accomplishment of being successful in my family life will be enough. Good luck at the tables.

What are your goals in poker? Are you trying to make significant money at it or become a pro someday?

If not your going to have to make some adjustments. I don't have a day job but I do have a young family (1 child and one on the way) and I don't get alot of sleep most nights. I don't think its possible to have a regular job a family and grind MTTs any kind of real volume.

Try to just play one or two nights of MTTs and learn cash games as well . Try turbo MTTs when you can and the 180 mans on FTP and pokerstars and if you can get that one sunday a month for yourself to grind that would be gr8.

MTTs just take up too much time commitment somethings gonna give eventually and if its not your relationships with your family it may be your sanity . (If you are lucky enough to be "sane" to begin with)

Good discussion, as this is a really tough balance for a lot of people including myself.

I've found the 45-man sit-n-gos to be a really nice fit. It's a 2-hour commitment, I can fire up several at a time, and there's a nice rush when you make a final table. The 24+2 on FTP has quite a few bad players, and the 69+6 is beatable as well. Obviously you don't get any deep stack play, but it's a nice middle ground between MTTs and your standard 1-table SNG.

I'm sure there is a good amount of poker players in the same boat. It's extraordinary difficult to travel to live events with a family and a day job. My advice is run like Mizrachi (cause we all know there's no one that runs better than him) for a month which maybe will hopefully give you the financial freedom and allow you to quit ur day job. However, family will always be first to poker.