Dear Donkey: A Letter To My Missing Friend

Dear Donkey,

Where have you been lately? We used to be such great friends... and now it's like we hardly even talk anymore.

What happened my dear little donkey? Did you fix your addiction? Did George W. Bush and his cronies piss you off back in 2006 and you are too lazy to set up an off-shore account? Did the Wall Street thugs steal your 401k? Or did you simply become bored of the thrill of losing all your money?

I miss the days when I could find you at the corner of every S&G... happily spewing all your chips.
I miss the way you limp with half your hands... because they are suited.
I miss how every time you have a monster you min-check raise me on the flop.
I miss your gutshots... even when you make them.
I miss your snap-calls when you have a flush draw... and me totally not paying you when you hit.
I miss how you call me a fish when I soul-read you time and time again and win with ace high.
I miss telling you how you are a fantastic but unlucky player after you call my 4-bet all-in with 22 and I have AA... five minutes into an MTT.
I miss the way you think that Jokerstars is rigged.
And I miss seeing you type "adhklsjdvb,abdkghabvANC .vba" in the chat box.

My dear donkey... my dear money-dumping, every-60-minutes-bankroll-reloading, sushi-tasting, 100% made-in-an-aquarium, 5-star top of the line too good to be true utterly clueless donkey... please come back.

Sincerely,

Your grinder friends

 

Originally Posted by litlebullet

they still exist at cake and ap and stars and ftp and ub and live and in nearly every poker game everywhere

fyp

Weird I still see them at every single table I play at anywhere. Even a stroll through the top 100 rankings on this site will yield some.

 

Originally Posted by Blueberleez

unnecessary glass-tapping

x2

F