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funniest dialogue ??

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  1. throppster throppster is offline

    Matlock
    United Kingdom

    Posts: 386
    Joined: Dec 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 8:57am)

    whats the funniest thing you have seen written at a table?
  2. stevester214 stevester214 is offline

    United States

    Posts: 3,089
    Joined: Dec 05

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 8:58am) in reply to throppster

    "I hope a nuclear power plant goes off near your house and your kids are born with gills"
  3. PocketHeadies PocketHeadies is offline

    Posts: 3,277
    Joined: Feb 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 9:08am) in reply to throppster

    "i hope you get cancer" - bax or sheets......

    "hhhhhheeeeehhhaaaaawwwwwwwwww"

    "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
  4. Diggity D Diggity D is offline

    Chicago, IL
    United States

    Posts: 4,314
    Joined: Apr 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 9:30am) in reply to PocketHeadies

    So bax and sheets are now known for wishing terminal illnesses on people... hmmmmmmmmm

    Karma is a bitch
  5. ShortStacked1 ShortStacked1 is offline

    Ripon
    United Kingdom

    Posts: 358
    Joined: Feb 07

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 9:32am) in reply to PocketHeadies

    After I have raised with AJ (get one caller) flop comes J 5 J, all the chips go in on turn which was a blank and he show J 5.

    Ask WTF he was doing calling a raise with J5 his simple reply

    It worked didnt it??

    Although I was steaming i did find this funny.
  6. Pryme72 Pryme72 is offline

    San Antonio, TX
    United States

    Posts: 564
    Joined: Dec 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 9:47am) in reply to ShortStacked1

    This was live but..

    Guy: I folded AA preflop once.

    Me: Wtf? Why?

    Guy: Because there was three people all in before me and one person accidently exposed AQ so that meant I only had 1 out and had a very small chance of improving.

    Me: Oh okay, great laydown man. :-)
  7. cdmalgee cdmalgee is offline

    Lynchburg, VA
    United States

    Posts: 5,009
    Joined: Dec 05

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 10:31am) in reply to throppster

    pokerstars Game #8459262050: Hold'em No Limit ($0.10/$0.25) - 2007/02/15 - 19:36:51 (ET)
    Table 'Baade II' 6-max Seat #6 is the button
    <span>Seat 1: cmalgee ($49.60 in chips)</span>
    Seat 3: Insanity418 ($6.20 in chips)
    Seat 4: ferumme ($30.20 in chips)
    <span>Seat 5: easyc1972 ($15.05 in chips)</span>

    Just yesterday...

    easyc1972 said, "i always slow play"
    easyc1972 said, "make more money"
    cmalgee said, "ahhhh"

    easyc1972 said, "i never try to buy the pot for what 50 when i can slow play and win plenty"

    easyc1972 said, "there is one secret to online pocker"
    cmalgee said, "o ya?"
    easyc1972 said, "yep"
    cmalgee said, "are you going to share that gem with me?"
  8. Stone316 Stone316 is offline

    Yonkers, NY
    United States

    Posts: 362
    Joined: Sep 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 10:45am) in reply to throppster

    Stolen from another website:

    In response to calling an early position's all in with a trash hand,

    "I had position"
  9. allynlong allynlong is offline

    Baton Rouge, LA
    United States

    Posts: 851
    Joined: Dec 05

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 10:51am) in reply to Stone316

    Sometimes when im bored and want to aggravate ill post song lyrics in the chat 1 line at a time...

    1 night at party i was putting in 'Show me the way".....after a few lines i put in the 'i want youuuu" part and immediatly about half the table put in 'to show me the way' !!! i stopped and the rest of the table put in the rest of the song line by line....1st time ive had a sing along at a table....glad it wasnt live........lol
  10. jerro jerro is offline

    Posts: 425
    Joined: Feb 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 10:56am) in reply to Stone316

    Nuclear one is by far the best...I hope you get gills..Classic

    What did someone say when I busted out after a bad beat and I ask them wtf they were doing?
    They responded that they were too busy to reply as they were already wiping their ass on my chips...couldn't think of an adequete reply
  11. ShortStacked1 ShortStacked1 is offline

    Ripon
    United Kingdom

    Posts: 358
    Joined: Feb 07

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 11:02am) in reply to Stone316

    Another cracker from the land of low $ SNG's,

    I Put a guy all in for his last 500 chips i cant remember what the flop was but he calls with A7 with no draw or no pair.

    It was actually a gd call as I only had king high. so I said to him nice call, very brave to call with nothing.

    his reply:- when u have somthing you got to go with it.

    me: u had nothing

    him: i had an ace

    me: yes, ace high

    him: o yeah see what you mean

    I kick myself for tapping the tank but he didnt last much longer,
  12. DMBpokerman DMBpokerman is offline

    Schenectady, NY
    United States

    Posts: 266
    Joined: Oct 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 11:11am) in reply to throppster

    bax and sheets at same table

    bax raises sheets bb

    sheets: smd
  13. gamblingfun gamblingfun is offline

    Johnson City, TN
    United States

    Posts: 2,876
    Joined: Aug 05

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 11:14am) in reply to throppster

    Fish: GG
    Me: I hope you get aids in prison.
  14. spudd69 spudd69 is offline

    Washington, DC
    United States

    Posts: 139
    Joined: Mar 05

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 11:49am) in reply to DMBpokerman

    Bax: come over later and i ll give you a reach around.

    sheets: ok
  15. computerb computerb is offline

    Nashville, TN
    United States

    Posts: 10,169
    Joined: Mar 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 11:56am) in reply to gamblingfun

    Don't ask us for backing.
  16. PaisleySky PaisleySky is offline

    Kingston, NY
    United States

    Posts: 125
    Joined: Jan 07

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 11:59am) in reply to gamblingfun

    I once played a freeroll in which this guy kept complaining about the blinds going up. You see he thought they were going up because several players had more chips than the rest. No one bothered to correct him. Still makes me chuckle.
  17. pigalet42 pigalet42 is offline

    Matthews, NC
    United States

    Posts: 12,006
    Joined: Jan 07

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 6:10pm) in reply to throppster

    Nothing over-the-top hilarious, but a few things I've seen that have made me chuckle:

    "Gosh, I'm hitting everything tonight."

    "You certainly aren't playing well."

    ---

    "I can't believe you folded to him. I hope he takes you out."

    "GL to you too, sir."

    ---

    "<span>Your</span> bad at spelling."
  18. ginwilly ginwilly is offline

    Dublin, GA
    United States

    Posts: 8,167
    Joined: Jan 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 6:16pm) in reply to pigalet42

    this one was posted here a year ago but still my favorite

    "I always play T5, you can't hit a straight without a T or a 5"

    and you know? he's right
  19. bukowski101 bukowski101 is offline

    Toronto
    Canada

    Posts: 1,130
    Joined: Jul 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 6:30pm) in reply to ginwilly

    sheets: "cancer"
    "oh sorry"
    "wrong box"
    "ignore"
     
  20. pzane pzane is offline

    Washington, DC
    United States

    Posts: 287
    Joined: Sep 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 6:37pm) in reply to throppster

    Where did you get your baby?
  21. Caseman14 Caseman14 is offline

    Fargo, ND
    United States

    Posts: 1,302
    Joined: Sep 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 6:50pm) in reply to pzane

    Yesterday, I was playin a home game, and my friend raises the blind 3x to 150, gets one caller and the BB moves all in for about 1k. My friend has about 3.5k, and thinks for a while. He finally folds and the other folds, BB showing like J 5 or somethin, and I ask my friend what he had. He says AA, and I grab his cards, and sure enough, he folded AA. I asked him what he was doing, and he says he didnt want to risk so many chips, and says he thought someone had an ace which gave him fewer outs. LOL He was dead serious too, it was great.
  22. DaMoose73 DaMoose73 is offline

    Petaluma, CA
    United States

    Posts: 19
    Joined: Jan 07

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 6:58pm) in reply to Caseman14

    Home Game: Two very close friends enter a very big pot. After a bad beat the losing friend stand up and looks the wiiner straight in the eye and says "Well I fucked your sister." and left the room. It turned out to be very true.
  23. SICKTIGHT311 SICKTIGHT311 is offline

    Long Beach, CA
    United States

    Posts: 24,818
    Joined: Jul 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 6:58pm) in reply to throppster

    I had a guy call me a "fucking muppet" once.
  24. smwatkin smwatkin is offline

    Toronto
    Canada

    Posts: 1,241
    Joined: Jun 05

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 7:07pm) in reply to SICKTIGHT311

    i raised early on in a tourney to 5x with AA....guy in SB cold calls
    flop A77

    he goes all in...i was like....ummm i call

    he has 72

    i was like..why did you call my raise?

    and he goes..."IF I HIT, I GET PAID"

    in all caps....

    Ummmmm... you DID hit...and you didn't get paid?
  25. ill flu ill flu is offline

    Kailua, HI
    United States

    Posts: 6,055
    Joined: Aug 05

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 7:19pm) in reply to throppster

    I tell people that I am going to go back in time and slap their mothers for dropping them on their heads as babies.
  26. The Brainiac The Brainiac is offline

    Schmargendorf
    Germany

    Posts: 177
    Joined: Feb 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 7:21pm) in reply to smwatkin

    Me : go fk your mom

    They : my mom has bigger penis than u

    Me : I believe u
  27. Grip Grip is offline

    United States

    Posts: 1,917
    Joined: Apr 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 7:23pm) in reply to ill flu

    "I hope you get hit by a bus"
    207 
  28. Prfsr_Cain Prfsr_Cain is offline

    Baxter, TN
    United States

    Posts: 3,308
    Joined: Oct 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 7:31pm) in reply to throppster

    I was HU in a home game. I raise. He comes over the top for all his chips. He says "all in" and then flips over his cards. So I look at them before deciding to call. Easiest call I've ever made.
  29. toastynuts toastynuts is offline

    Boonton, NJ
    United States

    Posts: 293
    Joined: Nov 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 7:32pm) in reply to throppster

    it was stolen from 'Full Metal Jacket' but still appropriate as we were playing razz and guy was raising and calling showing trips, 2 pair, etc.

    "Did your parents have any children that lived?"
  30. Fife19 Fife19 is offline

    Halifax
    Canada

    Posts: 10,711
    Joined: Jun 06

    Feb 16th, 2007 (2/16/2007 7:34pm) in reply to ill flu

    I'm a fan of telling someone to, "Please set yourself on fire." And I dont save this for strictly online play, as I've used this more than once at my local casino.

    My favorite has to be while playing 1-2NL at my local casino and a guy pushed all-in with his remaining 40 or 50 dollars when it was limped around to him. He only got 1 caller as an older gentleman called and turned over 10-6 of hearts. Well the all-in turned over his aces and won the hand.

    When asked why the older guy called with 10-6 suited he calmly replied with, "Well theres no way I'm folding a straight flush draw." It was a profitable night to say the least.
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