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How can you explain to Wife poker is not gambling......

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  1. bukowski101 bukowski101 is offline

    Toronto
    Canada

    Posts: 1,130
    Joined: Jul 06

    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 5:37am) in reply to Chazmental

     
    Originally Posted by Chazmental View Post

    Simple marry a woman that likes poker. Problem solved.

    ^ THIS
     
  2. DJam21 DJam21 is offline

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 6:03am) in reply to thegreenmean

    Unless she is a complete ditz, she'll appreciate that successful business people have had to gamble somewhat to create their wealth (small businesses included).

    "The gambling that is business looks with severe disfavour upon the business that is gambling".

    One of my favourite ever quotes. SFtrue.
  3. lordxixor101 lordxixor101 is offline

    Westland, MI
    United States

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 8:36am) in reply to thegreenmean

    Well, poker will take you away from her. From what your saying, her main argument is that you aren't spending enough time together. So, my first question, are you spending time with the most important person in your life? Should you be doing more? Also, are you pulling your weight in the relationship, or have you focused too much on poker? You might need to make some changes?

    Assuming you are doing everything right, then just sit down and talk to her. Figure out what her real objections are, and then work through them. Maybe she wants Saturday nights just for you guys, then you don't play them. Maybe she wants you free on Sundays to go shopping with her, then suck it up and do it.

    Maybe it's money. That one shouldn't be as bad. Mention how you are a long term winning player, and show how there are poker pros out there (unlike craps or slot machine pros), to prove it's a skill game. Also, show how you only play with money that you've won, and show how you have a plan so if you lose x amount in a day, you stop and take the rest of the day off (and then show her that you follow through on it).

    My wife is usually 100% behind me in playing poker. The times that she isn't, there is usually a pretty good reason, and it's something that I need to change, to make me a better person.
  4. wny2nyc47 wny2nyc47 is offline

    Princeton, NJ
    United States

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 9:21am) in reply to thegreenmean

    It is gambling, but edges are also quantifiable. Show her your PokerTracker stats. Buy her something nice.

    The time problem is something else. I don't get decent reads at a cash table until about 20 mins into a session. And if you're good about table selection, you don't want to leave profitable tables and sessions can go indefinitely. As for tourneys, well, now you're talking 5-6 hours to get anything near real money.

    Long story short, if it's about "gambling", I think you explain that it's not using your ROI. If it's about time, I think you'll have a tougher time.

    Oh - and if you start running bad, then you're really fucked. GL!
  5. EL-Irish EL-Irish is offline

    AZ
    United States

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 9:33am) in reply to wny2nyc47

    I taught my wife how to play and included her in some smaller tournments that I play live. When I go to play at the casino I let her play the SNG's and she is such a nit that she does really well at them. Anyways I just included her in my degenerate lifestyle so that she could appreciate what I do and the time requirments it takes. Also when we go on vacations I just make sure it something we both can enjoy like last year we went on a poker cruise. What sealed the deal was we flew out to Cali to see my folks and played a $300 tourney, my wife busted me in the first orbit she flopped a set vs my AA from then on she was hooked and had a story to tell my friends.
  6. darkknyt darkknyt is offline

    Fenton, MO
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 9:50am) in reply to thegreenmean

    Set up a schedule with your wife. Agree upon days/times that you will play every week so that she knows when you'll be playing and she can plan her hobbies/responsibilities accordingly. This will also give her an idea of when your together time will be every week and she will have something to look forward to. Of course, buying her things/taking trips with poker winnings makes everything that much easier. This works very well for my wife and I.
  7. Imustcall Imustcall is offline

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 9:53am) in reply to EL-Irish

    Boy, a lot of people on here really need help with women.

    You have two solutions:

    1) Succumb: Spend more time with her. This is great when you are not winning.

    2) Appease: Flip her 10k for whatever she wants. Oh, and don't talk poker to her, she doesn't care. But they love money.

    If I am going to quote Rounders to my wife, I prefer.." In the poker game of life, women are the rake.....they're the fucking rake."

    Treat the queens like bitches and the bitches like queens. Seems brutal, but it works surprisingly well.

    And for the record, I love my wife, but she doesn't tell me what to do and she definitely isn't leaving. Although she may be doing the gardner, but as long as I don't find out, it's ok.
  8. 8ntmuch 8ntmuch is offline

    Meridian, ID
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 11:30am) in reply to Chazmental

    For me it was simple... I just got my wife into poker, I transfer some to her account so she can play and with every cash out we'll either do something big with the kids, just us or I'll get her something. It then makes it all worth it to her. Also, I play on my laptop in the living room so we can still talk, watch tv, etc...
  9. SaDuke SaDuke is offline

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 11:54am) in reply to thegreenmean

    Try explaining it to Parents who think gambling is wrong, they are even more of a hassle to explain to about the skill factor in poker, especially if all they see is your downswing when you were a total mug, now thats hard!

    Peace, Sa
  10. Cptn_Squishy Cptn_Squishy is offline

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 12:15pm) in reply to thegreenmean

    it IS gambling

    but it does sound like she has more of a problem with the 'time away' than with the 'gambling'

    but i suppose if you want to go that route, then compare poker tourneys with chess tourneys, which also have entry fees and prize pools (and the payout in chess tourneys suck serious nads...youre lucky if 75% of the entry is in the prize pool).
  11. louiemdj louiemdj is offline

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 12:20pm) in reply to thegreenmean

    You can't really convince her if she has pre-conceived notions about poker. Try buying her something nice, and taking her out sometime when you would normally be playing poker.

    It also helps to take some breaks once in a while so it doesn't seem like you are consumed with poker (even though most of us are).

    Eventually if you are flexible with her, you should be able to come to an understanding that youcan both agree on.
  12. z06fanatic z06fanatic is offline

    CT
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 2:02pm) in reply to louiemdj

    u shouldnt need to explain anything to her about poker - its what u enjoy to do and she needs to grow up and realize u cant spend every waking minute with her....if shes still a cunt tell her to fuck off. problem solved.
     2
  13. aad aad is offline

    Detroit, MI
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 3:25pm) in reply to thegreenmean

    YOU may not be gambling but the other guy you're facing might be - which makes your play a gamble too...
  14. Mr Galt Mr Galt is offline sister-in-law's a ho

    Overland Park, KS
    United States

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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 3:59pm) in reply to thegreenmean

    I have this same problem with the objection that it takes away from family time. Since I play after the kids are in bed it becomes the 1 or 2 days a week that I might sleep in late if I happened to FT. There are no complaints when it comes to spending the money it brings in but that never seems to offset the "resentment" that my hobby builds.

    I'm now on a once a week schedule so I have lots of extra time for railing and watching pxf vids, etc. Basically just positioning for the flexibility to play a few WSOP circuit events and a short WSOP trip each Summer.

    If you wonder why most highly successful internet players are without spouse and kids this thread may offer some ideas. Spouse and kids offer tremendous OT advantages but are way minus EV to online action.
  15. Im a fn sta Im a fn sta is offline

    Saint Petersburg, FL
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 4:02pm) in reply to CptTripps

    lol
    back of hand
    Keep the pimp hand strong!!!!
  16. B_O_K_E B_O_K_E is offline

    Columbus, OH
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 4:14pm) in reply to thegreenmean

    Expensive purses FTW
     
  17. spacemandave spacemandave is offline

    Youngstown, NY
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 4:49pm) in reply to Im a fn sta

    I just moved in with my woman and shes at work from like 8-6:30 so I play during the day, hang out with her until she goes to sleep at like 10:30 and play more, sometimes I play a little when shes still up if were just watching tv....i miss a lot of good weekend action though which sucks.
     
  18. Arobinson11 Arobinson11 is offline

    Round Rock, TX
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 4:57pm) in reply to z06fanatic

     
    Originally Posted by z06fanatic View Post

    u shouldnt need to explain anything to her about poker - its what u enjoy to do and she needs to grow up and realize u cant spend every waking minute with her....if shes still a cunt tell her to fuck off. problem solved.

    Real life doesnt work like this. By the way if you have a women who will go with this argument she should be immediately dumped.
     1
  19. ecu3270 ecu3270 is offline

    Greenville, NC
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    Jul 8th, 2008 (7/8/2008 5:46pm) in reply to Arobinson11

    try hitting her
  20. newghetto newghetto is offline

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    Jul 9th, 2008 (7/9/2008 12:10am) in reply to ecu3270

    first off poker is gambling...but gambling where you can have an edge in the long term

    second off she is probably more bothered that you like something more then spending time with her - it happens when you work a lot in any profession

    and third - if you can't do what makes you happy, and her also be happy, your doomed anyway - so either someone sacrifices, or you can end it here
  21. prd mnky prd mnky is offline

    Milwaukee, WI
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    Jul 9th, 2008 (7/9/2008 12:26am) in reply to thegreenmean

    You can't say anything because poker IS gambling.

    Spend more time with her and less time at the tables and you won't have an issue. If you're a winning player, buy her gifts or flowers.

    It's easy to remedy your situation - a winning player should have already figured this out.
  22. jeppg1111 jeppg1111 is offline Disabled account

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    Jul 9th, 2008 (7/9/2008 12:36am) in reply to prd mnky

    Reefers
     
  23. Imustcall Imustcall is offline

    Jacksonville, FL
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    Jul 10th, 2008 (7/10/2008 2:12pm) in reply to jeppg1111

    My wife likes the feel of the warm laptop on her back as I'm taking down a final table.
  24. SnakeDaRake SnakeDaRake is offline

    Kahului, HI
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    Jul 10th, 2008 (7/10/2008 3:45pm) in reply to Im a fn sta

    I guess Im really lucky. My wife is very supportive and loves going to vegas. I guess bringing home wads of cash helps. I suppose if I was loosing alot of money, she would express that concern, but not from a gambliing stand point, but from a skills standpoint of "perhaps poker isnt your calling".

    On a rare occasion I may hear a grumbling when there is a time conflict between a home game and some other event (party, wedding, bbq, etc...), but I try to give her WAY advanced notice as to when a game is happening so she can atleast plan around it.

    I actually keep a spread sheet of every poker session I play, and she checks it regularly and grins. :) She will even play the occasional $20 tourny at the house for fun. She has no clue but its a social thing for her. I would be stoked if she got good though. hehehehe...
  25. MonkeyCowboy MonkeyCowboy is offline

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    Jul 10th, 2008 (7/10/2008 4:19pm) in reply to thegreenmean

    Poker is gambling.
    She feels neglected.

    any questions?
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