ok ive seen several relationships includng my own...go straight into the shitter because of poker and ones inability to draw a line between poker time and family time...

several months ago...i gave up poker...because of what it did to my relationship...it was hurting more than helping...i was caught up in the dream of hitting it big.... for financial security for my family and I.....i was working 40 horus a week doing construction...and spending all other freetime..playin...grinding..hours and hours...days upon days...please let me have a full saturday and sunday with no distractions so i can "take a shot"....it truly destroyed my relationship...wont go into details...but it doesnt get much worse....9 months maybe longer she told me she was gonna leave...6 years and a kid...i just ignored it..she would get over it....well she didnt..

so knowing what it has done to me...how do you go about telling a guy its gonna happen to him if he doesnt change....im not the kind of person to jump into someones marital issues..i got my own problems...but i feel i may need to say something...speaking from experience...my girlfriend feels i should sayin something...i just dont know how to go about it...

any ideas

you just tell him. its not like youre telling him you had an affair with this wife. it shouldnt be too hard to tell your friend that his poker is getting in the way of his marriage

My gf says that she never comes first and I play poker MAYBE twice a week...I've come to the conclusion that a) Women hate you making money, but they sure love spending it when you HAVE it in ur possession b) Women will never be happy c) Women want too much attn. d) don't have a kid yet :) Poker fks up a lot of things if you can't balance em...that's why I'm trying to hold off on the kid part and quitting my job to make some more free time. Women are harsh.

I suspect if I ever get in another relationship I'll pretty much have to give up poker....she's going to have to be pretty freakin amazing so Im not holding my breath but ya never know...Im sure in a couple more years Ill be so sick of the game it wont be a problem.

 

Originally Posted by JonesZ

Send him a link to this page.

I think he already found it..

I work 40hrs a week and grind poker. I have been married for 7yrs. I have been playing poker for 2 yrs, online 1 yr. My wife at first use to give me crap when I played poker. She told me that all I cared for was to play poker. This bothered me because I did not want my wife to feel this way. I took a step back and told her that I would make time for her and play poker on certain days. She was happy I made this choice. Things are great now. I play poker on certain nights and spend time with my wife. She is cool on how I manage my time for poker and supports me 100%.

If you lay down a schedule for poker you can make it work. GL

* STAFF EDIT *

 

Originally Posted by rocksockyea

maybe you and your friend should go to gamblers anonymous together?

Okay, I am no way addicted to gambling, and I certainly do not condone gambling to compulsive people. I have been to Vegas once, and didn't lay a single dollar down in the casino. I have been to other casinos to play poker tournaments and in those few times I have put maybe 50 dollars on a table game which was 3 card poker one time. I ran hot for like 5 hands, tipped the dealer 15 dollars and left. I am the voice of reason for my friends, I am VERY responsible when it comes to gambling. I play poker to support my wife and I in a comfertable lifestyle. That is it.

This post IS about me. It is very frusterating that my wife feels this way as this is my job. It isn't that I ignore her for poker, when she goes to work, I play poker. When she gets home, I stop playing poker. I play one night a week with friends, a game that pokerjokr is in as well. My frusteration is that I make 4x the ammt of money I would working 1/2 as much as I would at a different job. That is the why I play this game for a living at the moment. My wife means everything to me, but poker is just a job with good incentive at the moment. With that said, I wish she understood my situation a little better.

This is my point, It is my job, it is how I sustain my living. I am not a losing poker player, I frequently withdraw for living expenses, and so we can enjoy our lives. The problem is not losing money. I am definately not a baller, but I do okay.

 

Originally Posted by TiltinShoes

This is my point, It is my job, it is how I sustain my living. I am not a losing poker player, I frequently withdraw for living expenses, and so we can enjoy our lives. The problem is not losing money. I am definately not a baller, but I do okay.

im glad youre able to provide for you and yours by playing poker, and i dont want to come off too harsh, but i think it should be said. of course there are exceptions, but 99% of women would not want to be with a professional gambler. its not a steady income, no benefits, subject to massive swings, questionable legality (for online play), physically unhealthy, etc. even further, society in general has an extremely negative view of professional gambers and it would be incredibly embarassing for a wife to tell her friends and family what her husband does for a living.

poker is never a career, save for the few who have turned their stardom into a steady income (owning a training site, writing a book, etc).

Man u are 22 years old and married? Didn't she know you played poker when you were together? It shouldn't come as a surprise to her that you play, I think maturity issues are getting in the way here.

 

Originally Posted by TiltinShoes

* STAFF EDIT *

 

Originally Posted by rocksockyea

maybe you and your friend should go to gamblers anonymous together?

Okay, I am no way addicted to gambling, and I certainly do not condone gambling to compulsive people. I have been to Vegas once, and didn't lay a single dollar down in the casino. I have been to other casinos to play poker tournaments and in those few times I have put maybe 50 dollars on a table game which was 3 card poker one time. I ran hot for like 5 hands, tipped the dealer 15 dollars and left. I am the voice of reason for my friends, I am VERY responsible when it comes to gambling. I play poker to support my wife and I in a comfertable lifestyle. That is it.

This post IS about me. It is very frusterating that my wife feels this way as this is my job. It isn't that I ignore her for poker, when she goes to work, I play poker. When she gets home, I stop playing poker. I play one night a week with friends, a game that pokerjokr is in as well. My frusteration is that I make 4x the ammt of money I would working 1/2 as much as I would at a different job. That is the why I play this game for a living at the moment. My wife means everything to me, but poker is just a job with good incentive at the moment. With that said, I wish she understood my situation a little better.

If you really do only play when she is at work and once a night with friends and also make more $ playing poker then at a normal job, she has no reason to complain and she will honestly probably never be happy. But I see that you are a tournament player, so I'm sure there are a lot of times when she comes home and you are still in a tournament through dinner time or when you play all day on Sunday. In that case I can understand her complaints and you are going to have to make some compromises, like playing more cash games.