Just an old guys two cents worth: If she is already controlling how you can earn your livelihood, it will not be the only aspect of your life she tries to take control of. This is not about poker, it is about people who are "in love" respecting each other.

Women come and go but poker will always be there. As long as you know this then you will be ok. If you do not understand that, then you will be fucked and probably spend years hating your life until she fucks around and leaves you for your best friend.

Sex also won't be that great after like 1.5 - 2 years deep in that shit IMO.

how someone can do something behind a person's back that they supposedly love is beyond me...but how someone cannot support someone's livelihood that they are supposedly in love with also is beyond me...doubt you or her is in love...gl with your decision...

 

Originally Posted by AllenZ

Just an old guys two cents worth: If she is already controlling how you can earn your livelihood, it will not be the only aspect of your life she tries to take control of. This is not about poker, it is about people who are "in love" respecting each other.

This. If you do decide you want to have a truly serious relationship with this woman, you will have to have a sit-down talk with her about what poker means to you and how it is important to have limits and boundaries in your relationship. If she truly cannot accept that playing poker is a part of who you are, then your relationship really can't last. I say this for a couple reasons:

1: Let's be honest, you're not going to stop playing poker permanently. Some day down the line you'll start playing again and she's going to find out and it will be an extremely large issue.

and more importantly,

2: If she would to control something thats a big of a part of your life as poker must be, with full knowledge of how important it is to you, then she simply does not have respect for you as an individual person. She sees you merely as an extension of herself, a tool for fulfilling her own desires with no regard for yours. This type of thinking will manifest itself in other areas of your relationship. Real, committed relationships are partnerships more than anything, and this is an extremely shallow and unhealthy attitude for a partner to have.

 

Originally Posted by Lord Supremo

This. If you do decide you want to have a truly serious relationship with this woman, you will have to have a sit-down talk with her about what poker means to you and how it is important to have limits and boundaries in your relationship. If she truly cannot accept that playing poker is a part of who you are, then your relationship really can't last. I say this for a couple reasons:

1: Let's be honest, you're not going to stop playing poker permanently. Some day down the line you'll start playing again and she's going to find out and it will be an extremely large issue.

and more importantly,

2: If she would to control something thats a big of a part of your life as poker must be, with full knowledge of how important it is to you, then she simply does not have respect for you as an individual person. She sees you merely as an extension of herself, a tool for fulfilling her own desires with no regard for yours. This type of thinking will manifest itself in other areas of your relationship. Real, committed relationships are partnerships more than anything, and this is an extremely shallow and unhealthy attitude for a partner to have.

Great words of wisdom. Thank you all.

since no one else has said it

women are the fuckin' rake.

 

Originally Posted by Reech

<span>women are the fuckin' rake.</span>

You shouldn't have to quit something you enjoy as long as it doesn't take away from your relationship if you really want to be with her.

My wife doesn't love poker, but she understands it's something I like to do, and as long as I spend time with my family and have a decent balance, she leaves me alone and lets me play poker when I want to.

Basically, dump her if she can't be willing to make a compromise, and is that controlling. What are her reasons for hating the fact that you play poker anyway. I would start there and try and reason with her.

When my girlfriend and I first started dating, she did not like that I played poker.. She saw it as gambling, same thing as playing slots or roulette in her eyes.. Once we moved in together and got real serious, she understood that poker was really important to me and would always be a part of my life.. it actually helped my game a ton bc alot of the time I would rather be with her and doing whatever it is she wants than grind for hours so when I do play a session I'm excited and fresh.. It really revitalized my approach and excitement for the game.. Balance FTW..She doesn't really care about the $ aspect as that is not or ever really will be an issue in our relationship, she just wants my attention.. I think you need to explain to her how important this game is to you and tell her it will always be a part of your life and if she can't respect that than it's time to seriously reevaluate your relationship...

They hate poker until you buy them a nice handbag or jewelry after you do a cashout!!

<span>No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner. ~Thomas Robert Dewar</span>

<span>I went through a similar situation with my current girlfriend. I taught her that poker is SKILL in the long run, showed her my sharkscope graph so she could see the upward tendency. Told her I don't play for "the thrill of gambling", but as an additional source of income. Sometimes I'll buy her (or bribe her, perhaps) something expensive and say that "pokerstars sponsored it". </span>

<span>So it's better now. If I'm not with her, she prefers that I'm playing, instead of the alternative (getting drunk)</span>

 

Originally Posted by BlueRenegade

My wife just got me a PXF membership for Christmas.

They're out there.

MBN. ive never had one that doesnt constantly bitch about poker

you need to be honest with her ....i try to make a schedule on when im playing and stick to it, she knows when im playing and i try to spend alot of quality time with her when i am not playing ....find a balance. i spend alot of money on my wife too, that helps lol

 

Originally Posted by watson5j

how someone can do something behind a person's back that they supposedly love is beyond me...but how someone cannot support someone's livelihood that they are supposedly in love with also is beyond me...doubt you or her is in love...gl with your decision...

Im gonna go with this exactly. Ive been playing poker live and online for a number of years and my gf is very supportive of anything/everything I do on the felts or away from them. She understands my need to be competitive and would rather I do it at the tables and not with her lol. She also has asked me for basic poker lessons so she can understand my joy/frustration at the tables when shes around. On top of that she is happy and supportive whether Ive won or lost. And most days lets face it are a loss on the felts. She also keeps me grounded and keeps me from grinding 24/7 for weeks at a time. On the flip side I would absolutely give up poker if it was affecting my ability to provide us the $$$ necessary to live. Hopefully OP realizes that hiding things isnt the way to go. There are supportive people that dont frown on this way of living. Find one of those, just like at the poker tables, theres plenty of fish in the sea.

~DrP