Being honest with self. Ok. This is big part of playing poker. Playing and living within your means is the difference between going back to work or possibly living your/the dream. I am not a main event or WSOP player, and I accept this.

My First WSOP will be local preliminary events (Binions Classic, Golden Nugget Series, Orleans Open) and sightseeing at the RIO as a fan of the game. So I went to Vegas June 29 and stayed 10 days at the Shoe.

SUNDAY 6/29 - played a little 1/2 NL before I went to bed and lost $168 as I got trapped in a couple hands and paid em off. I knew I shoulda just went to bed...but its Vegas baby.
MONDAY 6/30 - played the event #25 ($235 NL) at the Nugget. I played well this day, and went deep. With 17 players left (9 to be paid) I did a Matusow blowup. Player UTG raises, and I reraised from the button with AKs. Flop came a rainbow Q 8 4. He checked, I shoved about 15K (pot was 10K), and he showed me a set of Queens. I could have limped into the money, but I could not resist temptation.
TUESDAY 7/1 - played event #26 ($240 HORSE) at the Nugget. There were 141 entries and 19 spots paid. A woman named Joan beat my ass at the 400/800 level in Razz. I had her on third street often she would catch on fourth,as I'd miss. Fifth street would keep me in the pot, and she always seemed to catch on the river. Her skill level wasn't high, but she told me later that she finished third.
Later that night, I crashed the UB WSOP party in a posh suite at the Palms with my usual name dropping behaviors (so glad I did). UB throws a great party, and I learned there that UB would be auditioning for the 'BEST DAMN POKER SHOW' (season two and broadcast on FOX Sports). Rockstars, Pros, a DJ, dancers, models...good food and cocktails.
WEDNESDAY 7/2 - So, I go to the Rio, thinking auditions were today (I was mistaken). I run into Dutch Boyd, who I met in Reno. Dutch provided quite an adventure that included visits to his place and a couple other well known 'young guns' homes in the poker world. (I am actually refraining from name dropping in this case, as the young guns deserve some privacy).
Hanging with Dutch is like hanging with Jim Morrison (The Doors) at times. The guy is a walking riddle, and questions he posed included things like, 'What does it mean when the man sleeping on your couch wakes up and tells you to 'Go home', as we stumbled through the desert. I was absolutely exhausted after this adventure and returned to the Shoe.
THURSDAY 7/3- I go again today for auditions, which were held noon to 4pm. I showed up at 3 in my UB jerzee, dressed for success. The response was huge for the audition, the staff was overwhelmed, and I was told to return tommorrow.
The Main Event began today, and I truly enjoyed the atmosphere. I stood in line to get Brunson and Moneymaker autographs. Doyle gave you a free book for standing in his line and Chris handed out 'I met Chris Moneymaker' shirts. I was next in Chris's line to get my autograph and picture with the Champ, when Krazy Kanuck (James Worth) said 'Hello', and asked me if he could speak with Chris a moment. 'Sure'.
After Jim and Chris spoke, Chris says, 'Do you know Kanuck?', and I'm like, 'Do I know him?...I got this jerzee for losing a $7000 Tournament Leaderboard headsup match versus him...This is a $7000 jerzee I'm wearing Chris!' Chris laughed, and gave me a VIP pass to the 'Champions Lounge' sponsored by Poker stars. Chris Moneymaker is a very nice man, and a fine champion.
The Champions Lounge was a great place to hang. I got pictures with the following players in the lounge: Joe Hachem, Tuan Lam, Annette_15 Obrestead, William Chen, Hevad Khan, Humberto Brenes, etc.
Sightings included Greenstein, Seebok, Griffin, Kid Poker, Isabella, and many others.
FRIDAY 7/4 - So I arrived at the Rio at 11 am, ready for audition for the Best Damn Poker Show. The experience was simply awesome. First, you filled out a questionaire, and hoped to be called for the initial interview. During the interview, you were MICed and the cameras were rolling. The highlight of the interview was 'Name as many world champions as you can in 10 seconds'. I went 'old school' trying to impress the judges.
After the 10 seconds had expired, I was asked 'Ever heard of a guy named Hellmuth?' (yes, I omitted Phil), to which I replied, "Yeah. I heard he has a few cashes'. Much laughter in the studio...

So, I made the FINAL CALL. You were to be interviewed by Phil and Annie Duke.

It was quite a life experience and a highlight in my poker life. Annie asked. 'How many times have you won the UB weekly TLB?' I replied, '7 times since Christmas.' She then asked,' How much do you play?' I replied, 'I have played 2700 tournaments since November 01, 2007'. Phil said 'WOW'. Making a man like Phil Hellmuth WOW at any poker story I coulda told felt gooood, considering his accomplishments. Candidates will be contacted in the next 4 weeks... and I have been told I was rated highly by the staff, and stood a good chance.
So today was a holiday, and I was invited to Susie Que's (founder of the 'ECrew' at UB) Fourth of July party at her and her friends vacation home. They were very nice people and a good time was had by all. Krazy Kanuck (KK) won the house tournament...friends playing for a $20 a head.
SATURDAY 7/5 - I was so tired from the past few days...I slept in, and decided to ride the double duece to the strip for some sightseeing. I went to Harrahs looking for Chris (Cheryl's nephew from Detroit - just missed him), stopped by Vince Neil Ink to price some ink/check out the shop, and scouted the Caesars event. After leaving Caesars, I called Johnny Roberts to see what he was doing, and he said he and his friend was enroute to Caesars to play the 11PM daily (JR took third).
I played also, and Todd (originally from St Louis) was my dealer (nice to see him as I hadn't seen him in a few years). Ran into 'Itsasickness' (Jaime), and she told me she had over 40K after the first day in the Main Event. She took a sick beat that cost her 27K in chips just before play had ended (the woman won 6 WSOP ME seats).
HAND: Down to 28 players, I had a good stack. Perennial limper limps UTG, I raise w/AKos, and a Scotsman shoves with a big stack (has me covered). I hate the call, but I do, and the guy shows me AQos. Flop is 3 spades, with a fourth spade on the turn...I am drawing dead and out.
Oh well, I was right and played well...whatever will be, will be.
SUNDAY 7/6 -I enter the PLO8 at the Binions Poker Classic ($160 115 entries and 12 get paid), and I meet Freak173 (Michael's) wife. Mike is a well known Omaha specialist online, and I absolutely respect his play. He babysat the kids while momma played this night (cant wait to meet you Mike-your wife played good).
I play good, and I'm fortunate. On the bubble, a Sicilian born player who lives in the UK proposes we pay the bubble $301 out of the prize pool, and I immediately am the one who 'contests' the proposal. My thinking was simple...a player about to post the next big blind at the other table has 5K and the blinds are 1500/3000 (said player survived his allin). Anyway, about 10 minutes later, the Sicilian Brit busted out (he was not happy). The ironic part of the story was that I ate dinner with the man, and found him interesting. (HE is the one that risked his tournament life on the bubble!-he was not short stacked)
So, I make the final table, and they give us all card protectors (FINAL TABLE - Binions Poker Classic)These can't be bought they said, and it was a nice gesture. I was in fifth place beginning the final table, and eventually we would be down to 3 players when talk of a deal was raised. COUNTS Myself 111K, player B 132K, chip leader 350K+, They seemed eager, I played 'hard to get', and I struck a deal worthy of not going for the title. Basically, I was officially awarded second place and nearly second place money.
After the tournament, I decided to check my bank accounts online (Cheryl had done some banking for me the previous day). I had given my debit card to American Airlines when I flew out of Lambert, and I honestly hadn't seen it since. Seems that somebody had gone on an $864 pizza, booze, cigarette, and gas party on me this week. I immediately transfered all funds to my savings.
(ADD: I was later reimbursed when I reported this to local law enforcement-thank you SCU).
MONDAY 7/7- I awoke in a good mood (poker wise...despite the deal with my debit card), as it is a good feeling to get a score. I had one decision to make today....an event at the Venetian or the Orleans event. I would have preferred the Venetian, but I knew if I went deep, it would be a 2 day affair. SO, I ventured to the Orleans, not realizing the event was LIMIT Holdem. Oh well, time to get back to our roots...
The event was $210 and fielded 210 players, paying 27 places. First place was 10K+. I make dinner break, and it certainly appeared I would make the money today. After the break, I ran KK into AA. The guy was short stacked, and we got it all in on the flop (10 8 3) with a series of reraises...
I tightened up (as my cards ran cold), we were down to the bubble, and 2 stacks were shorter than I. Eventually, both short stacks survived thier allins...reverting the pressure back on me to survive. I picked my spot, in the cutoff with K9s. Both the button and the small blind had looked at thier cards before I am to act, and it appeared they were not interested. I went allin, and the big blind, says, 'Scotty. I have to call in the dark.' Kd 9d vs Qc 7c. A seven jumped on the flop with a club draw, and a club on the turn sealed my fate as the 'bubble boy'.

What do you say? I said, 'Congratulations everyone. Have a nice day, and YOUR WELCOME.' Laughter.

TUESDAY 7/8- I returned to the Orleans to play one of my old favorites...STUD. $210/129 players/16 paid. I was due to fly out the next afternoon and I again made dinner break. The Orleans gave you free buffet if you made dinner break, and it was a nice gesture. Many good players played the Orleans, as it was pretty well all that was left (as far as affordable preliminary events in LV). I went out in 39th place. I can reccommend the Orleans Open to low limit tourney players.
I played a $75 daily at the Shoe, then tried to go to bed. I just couldn't sleep, so I ventured over to the Nugget to put $300 into play in a late night 1/2 NL. I played many Shoe dailys, they are run very well, and there is always a turnout.
Im there about 20 hands...AND HAND: Player makes it $12 to go, and I call with 88. Heads up, and I am in position. FLOP (9h, 8h, 3c). Player checks, I bet $15, he raises to $45, and well, I shove. He snaps call, and shows me 99.

Live poker is SO RIGGED.

The final tally is...

Lost $700 in cash games (tuff luck)
Lost $500 in 12 daily events (only one cash to report)
Won $1000 in 6 'events' (including a WSOP Mega satellite at the Rio)

Quite an experience. We'll get em next year.

I feel like I've read some of that somewhere before? Did you post some of this before? Maybe I'm imagining stuff.

Anyways, interesting read. I'm glad to hear everyone thinks you're hilarious.