<SPAN>Saturday, September 17, 2005</SPAN><SPAN> � (my birthday)</SPAN>

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<SPAN>Well, I woke up Saturday morning (my 39<SUP>th</SUP> birthday) after a somewhat late night out.<SPAN> </SPAN>I have my daughter every other weekend, and on the weekends that I don�t have her, my wife and I like to go out and have a little fun on Fridays and Saturdays.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>Since it was my birthday, I had already told my wife that she is to assign no �chores� for me on this day.<SPAN> </SPAN>I am going to play poker, and by God, that�s that.<SPAN> </SPAN>No arguments, no nothin�.<SPAN> </SPAN>Just shhh, and don�t be the blue hair in my express lane of success today.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>First of all, I needed to decide which site I will use as a vehicle to lay waste to the unknowing schools of fish and stables of donkeys.<SPAN> </SPAN>That�s right, today is the day I am going to hammer the SNG�s and add some major love handles to the bankroll.<SPAN> </SPAN>Fatten that baby up.<SPAN> </SPAN>Last week, I had been off on vacation, and managed to have a couple of small cashes in MTT�s, but they were enough to put me up about $300 on the week (I play as a hobby, for fun, but truly try to be a winning player), so I was eager to add to the small, but nonetheless, positive tally.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>I checked out Dise, UB, party and Bodog, (I have some $$ in each of those sites) but just wasn�t in the mood to play at any of them.<SPAN> </SPAN>So, I logged onto pokerstars at about </SPAN><SPAN>10:00am CST</SPAN><SPAN>.<SPAN> </SPAN>As I scrolled through the SNG�s, I decided that the $25 turbo�s looked pretty good.<SPAN> </SPAN>After all, since I was going to mop the floor with my dominating play today, the faster I could get through the games, the more profit I would make, obviously.<SPAN> </SPAN>So, into a game I go.<SPAN> </SPAN>5 minute blinds, this should be fun, and over in about 45 minutes, with me stuffing another $112 or so into my account.<SPAN> </SPAN>The planets are aligned, and it�s good to be the King.<SPAN> </SPAN>Let the carnage begin.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>(Damn, where�s my coffee?)</SPAN>

<SPAN>(Did anyone get the name of that camel that shit in my mouth while I was sleeping?)<SPAN> </SPAN></SPAN>

<SPAN>(Did I say anything last night at the bar that I need to apologize for today?)<SPAN> </SPAN></SPAN>

<SPAN>(Am I allowed back in that bar?)</SPAN>

<SPAN>(Man, that waitress had a nice rack���)</SPAN>

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<SPAN>BEEP �tymzend, you have 15 seconds to respond.�</SPAN>

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<SPAN>Fold.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>Oh well, onto the task at hand.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>So I proceed, obviously focused on plan of complete and unadulterated domination of this SNG.<SPAN> </SPAN>The reads I would make would be perfect.<SPAN> </SPAN>The lay downs would be dead on.<SPAN> </SPAN>And, don�t play back at me or I�ll eat you and your Little Tikes chip stack, alive.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>One thing I soon learned (or should say �forgot� as it had been months since I had played a turbo anything), is that you can�t just sit tight for the first 30 minutes and wait for premium hands (like I tend to do in a normal SNG), or all of a sudden you are looking down at 700 chips, and are begging for ANY type of hand that you can attempt a blind steal with (you have about 3 orbits left here and you are toast), and have a chance to win if you get called.<SPAN> </SPAN>Well, I played tight (while I was getting my coffee, brushing my teeth, and rehashing any dialogue from the night before that I could remember) and found myself in that exact situation.<SPAN> </SPAN>4 people left to go, and 3<SUP>rd</SUP> place has me out-chipped about 3-1.<SPAN> </SPAN>I can�t believe how many times I had folded the winning hand up to that point (well, the ones I saw at least).<SPAN> </SPAN>I�m in a deep hole, comparatively.<SPAN> </SPAN>And, any of these stacks would call me with anything, because I basically can�t hurt them badly if I win a race.<SPAN> </SPAN>But now, it�s getting time to race.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>It is then that I look down at AK off suit���..</SPAN>

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<SPAN>MONSTER (Why do my ribs hurt today?<SPAN> </SPAN>Did I get in a fight last night?<SPAN> </SPAN>Did someone say �MONSTER?).<SPAN> </SPAN>The Poker Gods have smiled upon me on my birthday!<SPAN> </SPAN>THANK YOU!<SPAN> </SPAN>This was EXACTLY the momentum changer that I needed to show these punks who is boss.<SPAN> </SPAN>(I had been playing so tight up to that point, I may as well have been holding AA in my hand).<SPAN> </SPAN>I�m on the button, so I raise it up (blinds were 100/200, and I had around 700 in chips) to 450 (why not just push, dumbshit).<SPAN> </SPAN>SB folds, and BB calls.<SPAN> </SPAN>I�m still feeling quite confident, because the BB was the chip leader, and could be calling me with anything at that point.<SPAN> </SPAN>Flop AKx, and the BB checks.<SPAN> </SPAN>I push all-in (obviously, and start to smile at my impending double), and get called by the BB holding QQ.<SPAN> </SPAN>Turn Q, GG me.<SPAN> </SPAN>4<SUP>th</SUP> place.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>4<SUP>th</SUP> place?<SPAN> </SPAN>WTF?<SPAN> </SPAN>This was not the plan.<SPAN> </SPAN>I had been playing pretty solid poker for the last couple of weeks, and my top 2p isn�t supposed to lose to a set of Q�s ON MY BIRTHDAY.<SPAN> </SPAN>That was NOT the plan for my birthday!!!<SPAN> </SPAN>Who knocked the planets out of alignment?<SPAN> </SPAN>How can the Poker Gods do this to me?<SPAN> </SPAN></SPAN>

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<SPAN>(Is this a hangover, or did I hit my head on something?)</SPAN>

<SPAN>(Man, is that odor, me?)</SPAN>

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<SPAN>OK, regain composure Jeff.<SPAN> </SPAN>It�s going to be OK.<SPAN> </SPAN>You�ll pop off a win in the next one, and we can leave that last game safely behind us���..you just need to be more aggressive next time�.yep, that�s the solution.<SPAN> </SPAN>Let�s tear it up.</SPAN>

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<SPAN>(Well, maybe turbo SNG�s just aren�t for me����.Stats for the day?)</SPAN>

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<SPAN>$25 � 4<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$25 � 4<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$15 � 5<SUP>th</SUP> (Ok, I�ll step down a level, because this hurts a bit)</SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 4<SUP>th</SUP> (Alright, I�ll just get it back in little chunks��baby steps)</SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 7<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 4<SUP>th</SUP> (Tilt-o-f*cking-matic)</SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 5<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 9<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 4<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 6<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$6 � 5<SUP>th</SUP></SPAN>

<SPAN>$1.50 � 8<SUP>th</SUP> (was a 45 person tourney)</SPAN>

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1. <LI class=MsoNormal><SPAN>F poker and everything that it stands for (kidding, but wasn�t at the time)<SPAN> </SPAN></SPAN></LI> <LI class=MsoNormal><SPAN>Happy birthday to me, and�.. </SPAN></LI> <LI class=MsoNormal><SPAN>Did anyone get the license plate # of that truck that just ran over me?</SPAN></LI>

I've already recovered, lol. Thanks!