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Never make a bad chop again! Introducing Chop Agent Services, Inc.

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  1. Artiecat Artiecat is offline

    Togo

    Posts: 5,639
    Joined: Jan 05

    Jan 16th, 2006 (1/16/2006 2:18pm)

    For all expert poker players:

    With all this talk of chops and bad deals I have decided to offer up my services as your official chop agent. Use my vast math experience (I have a calculator) and expert negotiation skills to help you negotiate the best deal (for a small fee of course). When you're in the heat of the battle at the Final table of a major tournament after hundred's of hands and hours of playing you may find it useful to have a fresh mind and a fresh perspective. Turning to friends and family in these situations may not always the best choice. Afterall, they have an emotional investment in you. They care for you and may love you, and therefore may not negotiate the best deal for you. I don't give a %&#@ about you! I'm your agent! I WILL negotiate the best deal for you (and me, lol)! I will be side by side with you during chop time (drooling over your/our cash). Never make a bad deal again! My fees are only 10% of any extra money over and above the payout of your actual finish (If you screw up and win that's your own fault). Here is an example from last nights 500k on pokerstars on how my expert negotiating skills can help you at your next final table(I was actually working for Kathy19, but notice how use of a third party can come in handy). Names have been changed (slightly) to protect the innocent:

    Paperboy: This isn't fair, I am the chipleader. I want more money!

    Danisthequeen: SMD GFY!

    Kathy19: Yeah, SMP!

    Paperboy: Ok, I agree.

    See? It can be just that easy. With my professional guidance you'll be making more financially sound chops than you could ever imagine. At Chop Agent Services, Inc., we aim to make the best deal possible for me/you.

    *Edit Please don't confuse my portrayal of Paperboy (Fictional) with Papoorboy (sick poker player)
     
  2. imhooks imhooks is offline

    Yemen

    Posts: 9,073
    Joined: Jul 05

    Jan 16th, 2006 (1/16/2006 2:29pm) in reply to Artiecat

    Paperboy: This isn't fair, I am the chipleader. I want more money!

    Danisthequeen: SMD GFY!

    Kathy19: Yeah, SMP!

    Paperboy: Ok, I agree.

    LMAO!!! Papoorboy was just feeling generous. Can't hate on him for that.
  3. sandwich sandwich is offline

    Berkeley, CA
    United States

    Posts: 224
    Joined: Jul 05

    Jan 16th, 2006 (1/16/2006 2:33pm) in reply to imhooks

    that was seriously hillarious

    good stuff man, especially the "chat" that was too good..

    Good stuff for sure artie
  4. atalati atalati is offline

    Sayreville, NJ
    United States

    Posts: 601
    Joined: Apr 05

    Jan 16th, 2006 (1/16/2006 2:39pm) in reply to sandwich

    LOLLL! Pa agrees lmao
  5. wEnUrStRaNgE wEnUrStRaNgE is offline

    Chicago, IL
    United States

    Posts: 233
    Joined: Dec 05

    Jan 16th, 2006 (1/16/2006 3:47pm) in reply to atalati

    smp???? hahahahahaahh

    should be emp
  6. gamblingfun gamblingfun is offline

    Johnson City, TN
    United States

    Posts: 2,876
    Joined: Aug 05

    Jan 16th, 2006 (1/16/2006 3:50pm) in reply to wEnUrStRaNgE

    LMAO!!!!
  7. Tennis Bum Tennis Bum is offline

    Pensacola, FL
    United States

    Posts: 794
    Joined: Feb 05

    Jan 16th, 2006 (1/16/2006 4:38pm) in reply to Artiecat

    sigh
  8. niptuck niptuck is offline

    United States

    Posts: 3,425
    Joined: Mar 05

    Jan 17th, 2006 (1/17/2006 6:23pm) in reply to Tennis Bum

    LOL @ SMP
  9. RtShrubber RtShrubber is offline

    Houston, TX
    United States

    Posts: 1,185
    Joined: Sep 05

    Jan 17th, 2006 (1/17/2006 7:34pm) in reply to niptuck

    Symetric Multi Processing?
     
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