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POKER LINGO: WHY POKER IS SO POPULAR: LONG FUNNY READ

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  1. trsba trsba is offline

    Brisbane
    Australia

    Posts: 672
    Joined: Mar 06

    Mar 26th, 2007 (3/26/2007 9:48pm)

    Welcome Pocketfivers

    What makes this card game so popular. Why do 100 million Americans play this game daily and why do over 100 thousand Aussies turn up to their beloved pub to say All in!

    Well I did some research and found poker is the in thing because of...... Its Lingo, Here some real life examples LOL

    I was new to the game and was playing a guy by the name of Gus. He was a player who loved eating it would seem but usually bananas and seemed t oplay any two cards. With over $100 in the pot he flipped over his cards and said "I have the nuts". I said I'd love some what sort do you have. Beer Nuts, Cashews, Pistachios, Nobby's Brass ball or Kahonas. He said no dipshit that I have the best hand possible. I looked over at his milky white fingers and palms and I said "I have to agree these hands resemble that from George Conztana from Seinfeld.. You should be a hand model". Gus said you have a lot to learn about poker my friend as he shrugged his shoulders.

    A week later I was a hand against an older lady by the name of Kathy (I think her last name started with L). Anyways she turned over her cards she had two Jacks and there were already two jacks on the board. She said "I have Quads" I said "You have four of them (kids)" She said "yes". said gee that must have been painful child birth". She laughed and I couldn't work out why so I just repeated myslef.. "Gee painful child birth".

    We were playing a game at Thingy's house the following day and there were people everywhere. YOu prolly had over 20 people at this party some of us were playing this game of poker obviously. Thingy turned over his hand reading 999QQ and as someone new was walking through the front door.. He says "Yes I have a full house". I looked around the place and said, well I dunno how we are gonna fit this guy in so I guess your house is full. No I have Nines full of Queens. It sounded like he said I have nuns full of queens and I asked "Where have you got this lesbo fest.. I need to see". H just shook his head.."You still have a lot to learn

    Playing a quick game with Greg Raylar, it was hot and he ended up taking his top off obviously not a great site. I had Aces and he had 56. All the money went into the middle on a 482 board and he said "I have a double belly buster, gut shot straight draw". What i noticed was his physique wasn't the best he had a shot gut and a double belly and he was wearing draws. I said to him I'm glad you are willing to admit that, put your top back on.. He looked confused.

    A guy names Phil (He looked like Tiger Woods) seemed to always play with his crotch. Anyways I'm the dealer in the hand call the bet and he knocks the table and says "Lets see a flop" I said "You may play with yourself but I'm not showing my gear" He seemed disgruntled but all the chips went into the middle. A king of clubs was the last card to come from the deck. He stopped playing with his crotch and said wow "That was a bad beat" as I raked all the chips over to my stack. I said"What did your dick fall off or did something escape from it too early". Anyways Phil slapped my face and left.

    There are plenty of other examples of great poker lingo.
    . A hot chick with big boobs announcing she has top set
    . A royal flush meaning someone wants to flush the Queens head down the toilet.
    . Someone saying I have crabs (A nickname for pocket 3s)

    It takes a while to understand the poker lingo but that is what makes the game so fun. The lingo may take a minute to learn but a lifetime to master mate. May all your cards be live and don't smoke monster pots.. gank
  2. trsba trsba is offline

    Brisbane
    Australia

    Posts: 672
    Joined: Mar 06

    Mar 27th, 2007 (3/27/2007 12:43am) in reply to trsba

    None reads this and cracks up laughing????
    Thread Starter
  3. m@dmonk m@dmonk is offline

    Hoboken, NJ
    United States

    Posts: 69
    Joined: Jan 07

    Mar 27th, 2007 (3/27/2007 12:52am) in reply to trsba

    apparently it's just you
  4. Tommy2tyme Tommy2tyme is offline

    East Lansing, MI
    United States

    Posts: 97
    Joined: Dec 05

    Mar 27th, 2007 (3/27/2007 12:56am) in reply to m@dmonk

    Wow, This was a waste of time
     
  5. SICKTIGHT311 SICKTIGHT311 is offline

    Long Beach, CA
    United States

    Posts: 24,818
    Joined: Jul 06

    Mar 27th, 2007 (3/27/2007 12:59am) in reply to trsba

    *rolls back over and hits the snooze button*
  6. pepperdiablo pepperdiablo is offline

    United Kingdom

    Posts: 21
    Joined: Mar 07

    Mar 27th, 2007 (3/27/2007 1:22am) in reply to SICKTIGHT311

    Sorry, but... stick to the day job.
     
  7. Vesper Vesper is offline

    Edmonton
    Canada

    Posts: 1,235
    Joined: Dec 06

    Mar 27th, 2007 (3/27/2007 1:22am) in reply to trsba

    Not being an ass but I don't know what part of that was supposed to be funny.
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