Pardon the departure from the normal fruitful poker discussion, but I just had to vent some things.<SPAN> </SPAN>The following pet peeves drive me absolutely nuts when I'm playing on Full Tilt.<SPAN> </SPAN>I've decided to classify these players here and actually use it in my poker notes on the site.

The Intimidator:

The mantra:<SPAN> </SPAN>"I OWN THIS TABLE SAY GOODNIGHT BITCHES.<SPAN> </SPAN>WOOT WOOT!"

Trash talking before hand 1 is one of the most ridiculous and overall maddening things that a player can do.<SPAN> </SPAN>The intimidator thrives on what he considers to be an ability to Tilt people, but in reality he comes across as a 12 year old who has taken a break from trash talking online in Halo 2 to lose some money playing on Big Brothers computer.<SPAN> </SPAN>Ill ignore the "leet speak" for now, but in the words of Maddox� "Seven sixteenths of one inch: (the distance from the caps lock key to the 'A key') That's the distance you'd have to move your pinky in order to not sound like an idiot."

The response: No text response, and take his chips

The Imperfect Odds Man:

The mantra:<SPAN> </SPAN>"I was totally pot committed."

Well, no, no you weren't.<SPAN> </SPAN>If you are going to use terms like pot committed please be relatively sure you know what they mean.<SPAN> </SPAN>Anyone can buy a copy of Sklansky for $14.95 and flip through the pages, but its clear that not everyone comprehends the idea.

The response: No text response, and take his chips

The Over Enthused

The mantra:<SPAN> </SPAN>"Boo-yah!"

You know it may shock you, but everyone at the table actually did witness you hit quads on the flop and your text didn't to help us out.<SPAN> </SPAN>Surprisingly, we don't need your clever mid 90's onomatopoeia to understand that you've got the nuts.<SPAN> </SPAN>No one likes it when Stuart Scott says it and neither should you.<SPAN> </SPAN>What's next the online Mattias Anderson�"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The response: No text response, and take his chips

The Observer

The mantra: Returning to table you busted out of to berate the other person

It's not enough that these people get sent packing from the tourney or ring game by a player.<SPAN> </SPAN>They actually have to RETURN for more abuse.<SPAN> </SPAN>Seriously, has this ever gone well?<SPAN> </SPAN>What does the observer expect?<SPAN> </SPAN>An apology?<SPAN> </SPAN>An affirmation that he is in fact better than the player that just busted him?<SPAN> </SPAN>Can you imagine Magic losing in the conference finals only to return and yell, "Laaaaaarrrryy�" from the front row of the stands in the finals?

The response: No text response, and take his chips

Honorable Mentions Pet Peeves Go To: Anyone with Shark/Poker/AA in their handle, those who use "emotions" after a beat or win on Tilt, anyone who hits on an avatar

Please let me know where you can find Sklansky for $14.95.

See you at ebay.

THE STALLER

As Bax put it last night when a guy was trying to stall into the top fifteen: "What -- you need $18.50 for busfare?"

This is well covered territory but I am sorry if you are a qualifier -- you can't torture the table by stalling to eke into the money.

bingo, my biggest poker peeve

The Person Who Needs to Be Somewhere Else.

My pet peeve is when you are playing in a tournament and someone who is either a)FOS or b) actually late to be somewhere decides to play all remaining hands all in until he either a) chips up and decides he doesn't need to go anywhere or b) busts out.

If you really have to leave, why not just shut off the computer and blind out? It's also infuriating when this player decides to announce his hole cards every hand.

I once was at the end of a rebuy on Dise and I was one from the button and it was the last hand of the rebuy. I had AT and raised pretty big and this guy put me ai. End up he has AQ and of course I catch a T.

He starts going off on me, calling me the "n" word, and that I am an idiot, and how could I call ai. I just take his chips, don't say a word, and go on break.

I come back 5 minutes later and he has not stopped typing-he is ranting and raving and going beserk. He demands an answer. I'm silent, and he just is going nuts. People are telling him to leave.

Finally, I tell him I thought he was bluffing. Oh my g-d, you would of thought I killed his entire family or a nuclear bomb had just dropped at his house.

He says he will not accept that answer and he wants a new one, and he goes on and on for about 5 minutes. Ranting and raving. I go back to the I took the chips and stayed silent mode.

And then after 5 minutes he erupts even more and says he is coming to my city to kill me-lol.

Well about 3 people report him and he no longer is around.

I guess silence just does not always work-especially when faced with a luuuuuuuuuunatic! LOL!

Cannot believe I forgot The Absentee (person who need to be somewhere else). Good one Rain_K.

Don't forget the Falsely Intoxicated Player. You know, the guy who says "man I'm so drukn" (sic), and then proceeds to act crazy and say things like "i dont no y im calling" before flipping over the nuts.

Very good, you're going to trick us into bluffing you because we assume you are too drunk to read your hole cards, which you repeatedly insist to us every other hand while raising in EP.

LMAO at this entire thread, i wanted to respond but i just can't top this, good work guys.

my peeve is definatly thedry side pot betting late in the tourny.

bawa

My pet peeve is the player whop goes up, ten is away, until they get a solid hand, then miraculously their away again!

BD

Anyone who says "nice hand" before the hand is over. Usually followed by them hitting the two outer. Very vexing...