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Sooo.......here's the situation

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  1. DJDaveCee DJDaveCee is offline broke his duck

    Doncaster
    United Kingdom

    Posts: 132
    Joined: Feb 05

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:06pm)

    Hi all..

    I'm a recreational player, have been for around 7 years now, i have always had aspirations about playing full time, but never gone ahead with it, be it due to other hobbies/interests, or family reasons.

    Over the years, i've obviously taken my share of one outers at the tables, and given my share out, experienced the highs and lows of mtt poker and the up and downswings that go with. My situation right now involves the missis. Now although she has played before, she is very blinded by poker as i know it as she doesnt understand table rep, the maths, the need to switch gears if necessary etc. Over the years, she has enjoyed the extra income poker can sometimes bring, and has recently asked me to start playing more and wants me to take it more seriously.

    Now, over the last week, i have took a battering at the tables, yeah, i know my volume is low and i understand variance etc, but i'm finding myself the following day, reviewing hands from the previous nights session and thinking of ways to better my game and ways i could of done things differently. But what this is doing is making me unmotivated to do stuff around the house, which i am getting some stick for.

    So, my situation is, do i try to have a discussion with her about the in depth game of poker, and try to explain what my mind is thinking, and also the fact that i play micro/low stakes games and it can be a minefield as such to try and make her realise how in depth poker can be, regardless of stakes you are playing....i'm very much a small entry/big payout player on pokerstars, and i've never really enjoyed sit and goes(although i have been thinking of switching to sng's to build a better roll and play higher stakes than what i do to mitigate such huge fields in mtt's).

    We have 2 children and this isnt an issue as i play when the kids have gone to bed or start my session just before, i hold a part time job in the afternoons, so normally start my session from around 7pm uk time, and sometimes not get to bed until 2-3am in the morning.

    So, if anyone has any feedback about my situation, or have any similar problems, please feel free to reply, and if i've missed anything you believe should be in the post, again, please reply and i will answer.

    Hope i havent ranted on too much, but i do tend to have trouble puttin whats in my head in to a thread like this lol

    Thanks for any replies/feedback

    DJ
  2. blazed3x1 blazed3x1 is offline

    Lake In The Hills, IL
    United States

    Posts: 10
    Joined: Dec 10

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:15pm) in reply to DJDaveCee

    just quit now when ur ahead
     
  3. pokerproplaya08 pokerproplaya08 is offline

    FL
    United States

    Posts: 1,043
    Joined: Nov 09

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:16pm) in reply to blazed3x1

    def explain to her, my relationship with my girl has been better off when I've included her into some of the convo's and tried to explain the situations that go on.
  4. OHBEEVEE OHBEEVEE is offline

    United States

    Posts: 57
    Joined: Dec 09

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:18pm) in reply to blazed3x1

    Your parents went away on a week's vacation?
     
  5. otang4prez otang4prez is offline MMM is my Hero

    Posts: 344
    Joined: Mar 09

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:20pm) in reply to OHBEEVEE

    If your not a steady winning player after 7(are you a winning player) years of recreational or professional playing I don't think you will ever be. I mean what have you been doing for the last 7 years, just clicking buttons? Not trying to come off as a dick but why do you think now after 7 years you can make it. Just because your gonna take it serious? What was the last 7 years then? If your gonna try I would joining a training site won't hurt, read some books, and review your play. GL in your future endeavors.
  6. apresthus apresthus is offline

    Posts: 107
    Joined: Apr 08

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:22pm) in reply to otang4prez

    Short answer is; no you dont. Speaking from some experience and just common sense (at least it is to me) it is going to serve little purpose trying to explain poker in depth to someone who is not familiar with it. Simply due to the fact that not only is it really hard to explain to someone with limited knowledge of it, but also because alot of what you understand about the game is based on experience from playing it, opinions from others etc, which gives you a completely different foundation if you will than for her. To take an example, it is really hard to explain to a normal person who doesnt player poker the concept of varience, but then still explain to them that it is a skill game. This may seem obvious to you has you have experienced the varience and have seen the numbers behind it first hand, but she hasn't, and i think it is very difficult for her to reach the same conclusion as you do based on the information she has.

    What i have done in relationships in the past is just to sit down with them and explain that poker is something that is really important to me, and that i do not want to give it up. At the start i tried explaining why but i quickly saw that it was a futile effort.

    Now here is kind of the key part. Since you your married and have two kids there are obviously alot of responsibilities that have to them. And if you look at this from her perspective for a little while, she doesnt understand all the depth that goes into it so she views it as a hobby for you. And therefore wont react all that well if you sacrifice some of the duty's she expects you to do. Without knowing her personally i think most people in this spot would view it as something selfish. If this were your sole income i think it would be different but it isnt so.

    So i guess what i am saying is, in order for her to tolerate poker (cause you cant get her to understand it) you need to show that you can balance poker and your responsibilites at the same, otherwise she will view poker as something negative and selfish and i dont think you want that as i am sure it is something that is important to you and that you enjoy, and you should tell her that it is important too, but dont expect her to tolerate it getting higher priorities. I dont know if i made much sense here but i tried :P

    Edit:
    As for you going pro, make sure you are good enough first, so what i would advise is to get a very good coach to review hand histories and give his honest opinion
    Edited By: apresthus Feb 8th, 2011 at 07:27 PM
  7. MackTheGirls MackTheGirls is offline

    Colts Neck, NJ
    United States

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    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:42pm) in reply to apresthus

    i thought you were going to post a picture of "THE SITUATION"
  8. DJDaveCee DJDaveCee is offline broke his duck

    Doncaster
    United Kingdom

    Posts: 132
    Joined: Feb 05

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:43pm) in reply to MackTheGirls

    Thanks for responses so far, although i mentioned my past aspirations to play full time, it isnt one i have right now, i just want to put in more volume and see what happens.

    I've had some decent scores over the years, which i usually just withdraw the bulk of and leave my self some(again, the stakes i play, and the fact im a recreational player, i consider these to be decent scores).

    I believe what apresthus says about finding the right combo in poker/responsibilities will be the start of me moving forward, i think the missis believes that because i have won in the past, it's easy just to pull up some tables over a period of time and repeat what i have done before.

    I will look into training sites/coaching in the near future for sure, i dont have a circle of friends who i can talk poker to as none of them are remotely interested in the game, so this is definately something i'm going to look into, and will maybe make the missis understand a bit more.

    Thanks to those who took time to read and respond

    DJ
    Thread Starter
  9. clantaztic clantaztic is offline

    O Fallon, MO
    United States

    Posts: 515
    Joined: Aug 09

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 7:48pm) in reply to MackTheGirls

     
    Originally Posted by MackTheGirls View Post

    i thought you were going to post a picture of "THE SITUATION"


    do they know who "the situation" is in the UK?
  10. MakeMeMaster MakeMeMaster is offline

    Posts: 3,154
    Joined: Aug 08

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 8:00pm) in reply to clantaztic

    I was waiting for jersey shore pics, wtf?
    3 
  11. clantaztic clantaztic is offline

    O Fallon, MO
    United States

    Posts: 515
    Joined: Aug 09

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 8:30pm) in reply to MakeMeMaster

  12. Viet Viet is offline

    Posts: 19
    Joined: Jan 11

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 8:46pm) in reply to clantaztic

    Small entry big payout types of MTTs are time consuming. You should think about play some medium buyin mtt with less people.
  13. fratzner fratzner is offline

    Indianapolis, IN
    United States

    Posts: 406
    Joined: Dec 05

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 9:51pm) in reply to OHBEEVEE

     
    Originally Posted by OHBEEVEE View Post

    Your parents went away on a week's vacation?

    LOLOLOL exactly what came into my head when I read the title of this....

    "They left the keys to the brand new Porsche/would they mind?/ ummm well of course not"
     
  14. MotherwellX MotherwellX is offline

    Bletchley
    United Kingdom

    Posts: 36
    Joined: Jan 09

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 11:03pm) in reply to fratzner

    Chuck it Donny boy, ur shit sounds like wee nicky clark fae donny (Doncaster Legend) and he legged it to kalgoorlie aussie. Maybe u should chuck it, the kids mean more than poker ever will. Don't kid urself otherwise. Keep it real and play as a hobby> And the best of luck spoiling the kids if u get a hit, but remember the most important people in ur life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Never forget that before you play and remember the situation.

    If you've got money probs, poker def ain't the answer. GL m8

    Aye me, maybe u could pass me the number to the WHITE HOOSE. And I'll do my bit for poker in the USA. GL troops, hope its legal soon.
    Edited By: MotherwellX Feb 8th, 2011 at 10:55 PM
  15. TheVillageGrinder TheVillageGrinder is offline

    United States

    Posts: 1,970
    Joined: Sep 07

    Feb 8th, 2011 (2/8/2011 11:06pm) in reply to DJDaveCee

    Don't mean to be an ass but mtts and having a family just really isn't a good combo unless some very specific conditions are present.

    Playing mtts is a huuuge time commitment and having something that big, time consuming and unwieldy going on just isn't really conducive to family life which is usually quite structured and regimented, often involving early morning hours.

    Taking on this challenge while playing micro stakes-where the time commitment is just the same as mid or hs mtt-makes the proposition even less sound. Staying up to the wee hours of the morning and bubbling the final table and walking away with 37.50 is just gonna really eat at your soul while not really providing the financial boost you and your family require.

    You should examine your strengths as a poker player and select games that play toward them-since you fancy yourself as an mtt grinder consider looking at multi table SnGs. This way you can set aside 4-5 hours and get in quite a bit of volume at a game that you are profitable in and realize some steady profits.

    Also if you are going to do this properly learn how to multi table and keep pushing yourself to add more and more tables. As a family man your time is in demand so make sure you are maximizing your potential to realize profits when you do take the time to play.
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