im currently hanging out in my gf's house because her mom is out of town so we're keeping her sister company. It's a nice house, upscale for sure....decent wireless internet, so i can't complain. While things are going well with the gf and socially this poker thing can def drive one crazy...
Sunday is the day, as everyone knows where we grind from 12:45 onward. Today i got off to a late start but im still feelin the effects of the grind as its 10pm now so ive been playin for about 6 hours bc i started with the sunday million which i brick bricked a straight flush draw to bust relatively early.
I could go on and on and talk about how my day went ectectect but there really is no point, every player takes bad beats every player goes through the same feelings and emotions when they play. The thing about me that is slightly unique is my place in life right now (although i know many are going through similar feelings/situations). I'm a college student, just finishing up my junior year of college. This whole poker thing has been important to me since my senior year of high school but back then it was something i just did with my friends. As i came into college it grew into something more, i noticed myself thinking about the strategy side of it more, i was playing $5 sngs at the time so it really wasn't about the money or anything. I knew i had the potential to be a decent player so i just trucked along. The problem was, i was probably average at best at the time so something had to give. I slowly started making more friends and learning but still couldn't bust through. I really just trudged along playing $26 tournies on FTP. Occassionally i would break through and do something in them but i really didn't know what i was doing in MTT tournies. The interesting thing is, this went on until last summer roughly, i was ok at MTTs but id classify my play then as average at best. While it was very important of me to improve nothing seemed to go my way and i just couldnt get over the top.
Then there was my win in Super Tuesday in July that really set a new chapter in my poker career. I went into a zone where i paid close attention to stack sizes and who was most active ectect like i never had before. Things really clicked on this night and this really gave me incentive to study the game further and try to be as good as i could. Since then, ive made some good decisions, and some bad ones, but the overall theme is that i have learned. It has made me smarter, and a stronger player. Even after that though i had some rough times, october-december i played strictly MTTs and was about -70k.....these rough patches happen sometimes in high limit MTTs.....then from January-march i recovered by being about 200k overall. It's just insane how one day i feel like a great player and the next day i feel like i couldn't piss in the ocean, it's a very unique trait about this game we play. Anyway, now im here, nearly graduated from college and i can't help but think about pursuing this professionally once i am done. Many people have said "how does the 19th ranked player even question if they could make it playing this game for a living". But there is much more to this game then just money. The swings take a big toll on my emotional side. While i handle it better then many other players, inside the day after day burn can be tough to deal with. I truly see that this would not be an easy life. So that decision is what im faced with now..........
Meanwhile, ill just be doin my thing, grindin the MTTs and goin to school, mentoring a couple players and hangin out with the gf.