Poker Articles

A long time ago, before global warming kicked in, it was still cool enough in the summer that a gentleman could comfortably go out in the evening in Las Vegas in his dinner jacket. It was on such an evening that I set out, twelve thousand dollars of my hard-won bankroll weighing down my blue and white seersucker, to ask Deborah to marry me.

I was paying for everything and the sky was the limit, so I let Deborah make the hotel reservations. “Anyplace you want,” I told her. Unfortunately, this was her first time in Vegas and she had no idea where to stay. We ended up in a small room at a small hotel on a small road just a block off the strip. But all thoughts of cramped quarters and roaches dissolved as we walked the short two blocks to Flamingo Ave and the Maxim hotel on the strip.

My aunt Edie knew a guy from the old country, so we got treated like royalty at the Maxim’s signature restaurant, DaVinci’s. We had food, champagne, wine, and more drinks, and by meal’s end even I was starting to think I was somebody important. As we staggered out into the Maxim’s casino, I spotted an empty seat in the big pot limit holdem game and my importance told me to take that seat and show off a little.

The game was 25/50, and I bought in for the minimum 10k. As I sat with my future wife looking on behind me, I figured I would sit and play tight for about an hour and maybe get lucky and win a few small pots. This hope was dashed quickly as most pots got at least two raises before the flop.

The most active raiser was an older man in a white suit and matching fedora hat directly to my left. When I think of this night, I picture him as a soused Ricardo Montalban from Fantasy Island. As tipsy as I was, he was so drunk I felt like I was sober. A younger man across the table in a gray suit with no tie was still stacking black chips and bundles of cash from his last clash with Ricardo. All the other players also had big stacks of money and chips in front of them, and I was definitely the short stack by far.

After not playing a hand for the first two orbits, I picked up cowboys in middle position and made the first raise to $175. I tried not to look at Ricardo as I waited for the reraise. After about a half a minute I glanced over at him and found him lightly sleeping. The dealer grabbed his cards and I got two cold callers. Both guys folded after a low flop and the small pot put me ahead enough to pay for dinner.

I thought about just leaving, but Deb was fine and I wanted a shot at some big money. The guy next to Ricardo woke him up for his big blind and we played on. In my small blind, I look down to see red rockets. While I am contemplating the best way to make some money here an amazing thing happened – feeding frenzy at the zoo. It went $175, $425, $1100 and on until, by the time it got to me, my 10k wasn’t even a full raise.

But I did get it all in there. In my fantasy flashback time always slows at this point, just before Ricardo flat calls and six others follow. The main pot tops out at around 72k. The flop comes A29 rainbow and Ricardo opens for 50k! I am wishing I had some real money in front of me as the next two guys to act both fold. Next to act is the only rock at the table and possibly one of the oldest men alive at that time. He points at about 100k in his stack and sounds excited as he says, “All of it.”

Now I had a set of aces and even I was afraid of what kind of hand would make this old guy excited, but the button flat calls and so does Ricardo. The turn brings the J of spades that creates a flush draw. Ricardo takes his time and finally checks as does the guy on the button. The river is the 5 of hearts so the flush draw doesn’t get there, but Ricardo instantly bets the rest of his stack. I remember them counting out more than 100k before the button decides to fold anyway.

The really old guy doesn’t even wait for Ricardo to show his cards before he turns over his 99. Ricardo laughs and coughs as he laughs like smokers do. It gets so bad he can’t even speak as he turns over his 34 offsuit for the nut straight. I flip my aces over and disgustedly concede my 72k portion of the pot. I decided right there that the variance of life as a professional poker player was not for a soon-to-be family man.

The good thing (possibly the only good thing) about that was that Deb was so glad I wasn’t going to be a professional poker player that she agreed to marry me. Still I often wonder what would have been had the river card been friendly.