Poker Articles

By Fox | Published Apr 26 2006, 04:25 PM
At the end of my last blog I was considering giving you the quick version of the bad beat that knocked me out of the WSoP qualifier on Stars. I spared the reader my sob story because I hate bad beat stories more than anything and I try to tell them as rarely as I am willing to listen to them. INstead I think there should be a format for bad beat stories that makes them quick and painless. Think of the time it would save all the poker players in the world. Five minutes of annoying whining turned into something like this -

Whiner - "Man you won't believe what just happened!"

Shark - "Quick format only please."

Whiner - "Aces, 85s, $220"

Shark - "Bummer"

Wouldn't that be easier?

From now on any bad beat stories anyone calls to tell me or pops up on messenger with must be in the following format or I will not listen to them, read them, or continue the conversation, nor will I offer my condolences.

The first word in the sentence must be the hand you had that was ahead when the money went in. If it was KK preflop then "kings" will suffice. If you had a straight on the turn when the money went in then "straight" will be fine.

The second word must describe the situation when the money went in. If it was preflop just tell me the two cards you ropponent called with, and if it was after the flop just give me the number of outs they had to catch up to your monster hand. This will tell me when the money went in by what format you use for the opponent's hand.

The last word should be what you lost to the donkey who made the terrible play that you felt the need to tell me about. This can be a number of dollars, a tournament knockout, etc.

My recent beat in the WSoP qualifier looks like this -

Fox - "Ugh"

Hatfield - "Knocked out of that tourney?"

Fox - "Aces, Eights, Likely WSoP seat"

Hatfield - "Harsh"

Isn't that nice and simple? It conveys all the information, lasts for the entire attention span of even the worst ADD sufferer, and doesn't annoy anyone. Oh and by the way...

Kings, 5 outs, $320

Just happened as I wrote this....

I'll see you at the final table,
Fox