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Perspective Revisited

By seal | Published Oct 07 2008, 05:48 AM

I live in central New Jersey. Like many of our friends and neighbors, my wife gets up at 5:00am and makes the daily commute into New York City for her job. For the past fifteen years she has worked for a huge, multi-billion dollar financial services company where she thought she would work until she retired one day. The problem is that my wife works for AIG.

It’s funny how resilient the United States has become. The last time we had companies of this magnitude collapse and the stock market decline this much there were people jumping out of high windows. Now it seems that most folks just accept the inevitable and move forward with their lives as best they can. This point was driven home to me at a charity event I attended this past weekend.

The organizer of the event used to have a business in Texas. That is until the flood waters damaged his factory beyond his means to repair it. But instead of bemoaning his own loss, he decided to call upon the good will of his friends here in New Jersey to help those who had lost a lot more. The $500 per-person dinner he threw was attended by over 400 couples and raised a lot of money to be used for food and shelter for those who now really need it.

Contrary to popular belief I am not much of a party animal. I enjoyed the cocktails and sought out the server with the little lamb chops more than a few times to be sure. But when the sit-down dinner started with its loud music and dancing, I headed outside to the patio of the country club where the party was held -- leaving my wife to dance with some of her gal pals. One of the other non-dancing husbands of our group joined me and we chatted about sports and our kids and things.

As we talked, a guy we may have recognized came our way with a big cigar in his mouth. He introduced himself as Tom and said he thought we had all met at some other party last year. I was in the middle of telling my tale of poker woe so I finished up quickly by saying that, all in all, I had lost about 5k on this summer’s Vegas excursion. Both men shook their heads and mumbled a little about a “tough loss.” Instead of pushing on about my bad luck, I asked Tom what he did.

It turned out that Tom worked for Lehman Brothers and had already been laid off. Furthermore, most of his retirement funds were with the company as well and he had taken a huge hit. The really interesting thing was that Tom was smiling and friendly as he told us of his troubles. He also seemed fairly upbeat about his prospects for the future and said that he was hopeful that he may get rehired at Lehman Brothers if they get the money they were seeking to keep the company afloat.

I almost bit my tongue and didn’t ask the obvious question, but since my family was also staring at having our major breadwinner canned, I was too curious. “So why are you here at this event tonight?” I asked Tom. “It’s not like there aren’t enough people here anyway. And right now this may not be that great for the old finances.”

Tom blew out a long stream of cigar smoke. “You know,” he began softly, “I’ve been asking myself the same question. But every time I think I am in dire straits I remember my old friend Bill who also worked for Lehman. With only two years left until Bill’s retirement, his wife got cancer. Even though the doctors said she was in a high percentage group to recover, she got worse fast and had to be hospitalized right away. As the bills piled up, the company went through one of its famous downsizings and Bill was laid off. Now that was a lot to deal with all at once. It’s kind of hard to think of me being anything but fortunate when I remember Bill.”

After spending an hour or so with Tom that night I was in a somber and humble mood when I went to Office Max on Sunday to buy some school supplies for a few kids in my class who couldn’t afford them. Sometimes I feel like I am doing something worthwhile when I do this and sometimes I even feel a little smug, but this time I just felt small. I wondered if there was anything else I could be doing to help.

As I sit and watch the news this Monday morning and hear all the talk about whether or not AIG will go bankrupt I still feel that way. I am worried about my wife’s future employment to be sure, but not as much as I was before the weekend. I’ve also stopped thinking about my losing streak in poker. Somehow with all the things that could go wrong, it just doesn’t seem that important. And I may even play a small tournament tonight, but, win or lose, I will still be thankful that I am able to spend my nights playing the game I love.



Comments
 

bigblacktruck said:

Excellent post Seal. In my opinion, resiliency& optimism are 2 very important traits. Both of which many will need to rely on right now.

October 9, 2008 8:00 AM
 

poundthatace said:

good post, gotta just keep moving on no matter what happens

October 9, 2008 8:18 AM
 

lordxixor101 said:

Seal, once again makes an article which forces readers to think, and challenges them to be better people.

Perspective is something I've been thinking a little bit about lately, but it seems to be a vicious circle.  Assuming your priorities are in order (you value your family and family time more than work, etc), it's really hard to make lasting changes.  Sure, there are always those out there worse off than you.  Yes, most of us feel like we should do something to change the world.

Yet, if you dwell on that, you won't be able to do your day to day things that not only you have to do to survive, but that make life enjoyable.  Really, how dare you watch Fringe on Tuesday night when kids are dying of starvation.  How can you drop $100 on a night out with the wife when kids are out there freezing and homeless.

Yet, if you go through your whole life doing that, you may live a humble godly existance, but you won't be enjoying life at all, and don't you have the right to gain whatever enjoyment you can from your time on earth?

It's nothing I have the answer to

October 9, 2008 8:23 AM
 

JonesZ said:

Okay article, however everyone has a story to tell and if you decide to call it bad or good luck that is how you perceive it.

October 9, 2008 11:54 AM
 

rjfire15 said:

TY Seal....well done, as usual!!!

October 9, 2008 12:13 PM
 

brikdog24 said:

Its only money. everything sucks right now and most of it is out of our control..as long as ur healthy and ur family is healthy thats what matters..$ will be there

October 9, 2008 1:17 PM
 

mrtruli said:

Great article.

But what you Americans should do right now is listen to Ron Paul and Peter Schiff. They are the only ones who will tell you the truth about who's to blame for this global mess and how to fix it.

October 15, 2008 11:34 PM

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