Poker Articles

When I was a small boy in Brooklyn, there were more than a few times that my Grandfather would take care of me. Officially he had a lousy government job that he retired from with full benefits at age 50, but that’s not what he really did. He really did what every good soldier in the Jewish mafia does; drink heavily, watch nude dancers, and gamble. And twice a week, I got to go with him.

All in all it was quite an education. Those Tuesdays at the brothel left impossible images that my old wife could never live up to. And for those parents who believe that early drinking can make a child deranged later in life, depending on your opinion of me, I either prove or dispute that. But the place that stands out most in my memories is the back room of Vic’s kosher pizza joint and the lop-sided eight-sided poker table.

Everyone who got to sit at that table had an interesting nickname. Benny the Bear was huge and hairy, Lewis “Two Cracks” Shapiro always shot his gun twice in a row, Moishe “The Butcher” Allen was really a butcher, but we heard stories about just who he butchered. My Grandfather was Hyman “Iron Sides” Schiffman, so named because he was stabbed three times in his side and never noticed until after the fight.

The game was lowball. All they ever played was no limit Kansas City lowball. This is a draw game where the best hand is 23457 because straights count and aces are high. There must have been at least twelve or fifteen guys floating in and out of this game and still it was always lowball.

I would sit in the corner with the other tag-alongs eating some of the best kosher pizza anywhere, which tastes about as good as the worst non-kosher pizza anywhere, and watch the action. No matter who played there was always a lot of action. Five dollar buy-ins disappeared rapidly every hand and sometimes the winners went at it as well so hundred dollar pots were not uncommon. In those days $100 was a lot of money and the sheer amount was fascinating to me. The money flowed this way and that, some lost, some won, but the game always went on.

And they all cheated.

One day my Grandfather and a burly gnome named Aaron “Fireplug” Hershcowitz got into a big hand together. It started off five handed at the five dollar level and things got out of hand from there. After the last of the one buy in guys was in, my Grandfather raises all in for $435 and Fireplug instacalls for his $275. After the draw they both turn over their cards and the last card each one shows is the same, the deuce of clubs. They each look at the other’s deuce and for a few seconds it gets very quiet in the room. After what felt like at least a week, they both laughed, took back their money and split the few dollars in the middle and the game went on.

When I got older and started playing stud in Gardena, CA I would sometimes play a little lowball for a change of pace. It was essentially the same game, but the best hand was A2345. My Grandfather was horrified at the thought of aces as good cards in lowball, but I liked to play both lowball and razz in the old Normandie casino. I still smile when I think about the night that three of us low limit grinder types put up $200 each to put me into the 5/10 razz game.

I was playing above all our heads and we all knew it, but right outta the gate I started making us money. I brought it in with a king up and an A2 under and got five flat calls. Next I get a four and it is checked around. Fifth street gives me a 5 and four to the wheel and now a guy bets so I have to call with my new draw and all the threes are live. Right off comes the trey of hearts and my heart sank a bit, but I perked right up when the trey of spades came my way. The action went capped, capped on sixth and seventh streets as nobody gave me any credit at all and three guys paid me off at the end. The chips continued to fly into my stack all night and I made the three of us more than $600 each by the time I couldn’t keep my eyes open and play anymore.

I hope my grandfather forgives me, but I still consider razz to be the best lowball game there is. I prefer stud to draw and I have the patience for limit poker. It’s a shame there aren’t more big buy in razz tourneys online, but there is always next year’s WCOOPs.

Regardless of the game, playing lowball always makes me think back to when I was a kid and the whole world was in a lowball pot in a kosher pizza joint in Brooklyn.