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Full Tilt · PokerStars · Ultimate Bet · Players Only · Doyles Room

   

How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it.
By bfactor on 05-14-2008 12:47 PM

It's really pretty simple.

 

Let's say you drive around in a van, and drive around some city picking up random people off the sidewalks, and kidnapping them into your van, and you have somee big underground dungeon with a few dozen chambers, and you put each person into a different chamber.

Then you go to each chamber, and you say this, one by one, to each person, in each chamber:

"Hi.  Sorry to break the news to you, but I kidnapped you, and you are currently in a dungeon cell which you cannot escape from.  I am a professional torturer, and I've decided to torture you all day every day for the remainder of your life.  I will be shoving red hot needles underneath your fingernails, splashing water on your back, and electrocuting you with an electric brush, drilling into your teeth, into the live nerve, without any pain killers, etc for the remainder of your life.  This might be decades.  Sorry dude.  You're one unlucky mofo.  Your life is gonna suck sooooo bad it isn't even funny.  Bye."

and then you walk out of the room (and have a hidden camera filming the person in this room)

I bet all 20 or 30 of the random people you put into these chambers, ALL OF THEM would not just calmly sit there, all relaxed and shit like "Bleh, oh wells...."

 

No.

 

They would all be FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.

 

Like, they would all be running around in their chambers going "OHHH SHIIIT!!!! OHHH NOOOO!!!! FUUUUUCKKKKK!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! NONONONOOOOO!!!!!"

etc on and on like that.

They would be totally freaked out about the idea of getting severely tortured by a professional torturer all day every day for the remainder of their life.

Really, they would, this is a normal human reaction to news of this sort.

 

Now, think about it.  A human lifetime is like 80ish years on avg.  So these guys are running around, totally freaked the fuck out about getting tortured all day every day for a few decades right?

 

But now let's say you walk around on that same sidewalk.  But instead of kidnapping 20 or 30 random people, you instead walk around and briefly interview 20 or 30 random people (90%ish of which claim to "believe" in heaven and hell).

So you are like:

"Hi."

person says

"Hello."

you say

"So do you think you're going to hell when you die?"

person says

"Yes.  Almost everyone will."

person then calmly <----key point walks away.

 

Notice anything?

Yeah.  That's right.  The person wasn't freaking the fuck out.

Gee.... that makes a lot of sense...

NOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

So when confronted with a few decades of permanent severe daily torture, the person is gonna be running around in circles, freaked the fuck out, screaming and crying and shit, but when confronted with an ETERNITY of torture, and actually worse torture than any torture that could be administered by even the most talented torturers on earth, for not 100 billion years.  Not 3942839042830942 trillion years.  No.  ETERNITY.  FOR FUCKING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR the worst torture ever forever, the person's all like "meh..."

Yea...

Yea you clearly really believe in it......

I can tell.....

 

PSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I CALL BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 
 
 

Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By skisteve on 05-14-2008 5:31 PM

is this all about the Austrian guy who recently was caught imprisoning his daughter and her 7 kids since 1985 and they just finally found out?

 

he has a special place in hell imhofwiwgfhs


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By ecugirl93 on 05-14-2008 5:37 PM

lol, if you're a Naked Gun fan, then you're alright in my book sol Smile


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By sol160 on 05-14-2008 5:44 PM

naked gun > hell


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By EyeKnows on 05-14-2008 5:45 PM

"so if i have dark hair like hitler does that mean we are of the same ilk, brunetts?

i don't belive in god but that does not mean she should be compared to hitler asshole"  

Hey sol, just stating facts, I cannot help it if ecugirl chooses to run with such a rough crowd.

If you had read the whole thing you'd know I wasn't saying just ecugirl was of the ilk of hitler, I was saying ALL christians are of the ilk of hitler, because hitler was a christian and is waiting in heaven for all of the other people deserving that same, ultimate reward to join him there - a good time will be had by all, forever in heaven with hitler.


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By kowboy8686 on 05-14-2008 5:48 PM

ok blue ill take a shot at the gay thing. my past and or present sins include but not limited to..pride.. gluttony..anger..lust..envy..greed and sloth just to mention a few of the more enjoyable ones lol. but in many cases gays and or gay groups try to justify homosexuality as NOT being a sin when it clearly IS! it is no worse than my own sins HOWEVER it DOES belong at the foot of the cross along with ALL sin! if past off as NOT being sin it takes  away all chances of repentance and forgiveness because Christ died to cover ALL sin and to pretend some sin is exempt is to not accept the need for forgiveness.


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By ecugirl93 on 05-14-2008 5:48 PM

I 100% agree!!!


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By kowboy8686 on 05-14-2008 5:56 PM

let me be more to the point i guess...eyeknows its more likely by far that you will be the one spending time with hitler in the after-life. im sorry about that and it IS NOT too late for you to change your destination. i hope you do!

and btw its a good thing hitler is gone as i can see you would STILL apparently believe what he says!!??!!


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By sol160 on 05-14-2008 5:59 PM

wow,  your an asshole.


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By sol160 on 05-14-2008 6:00 PM

stalin was an athiest,  does that mean all athiests are of the same ilk as stalin,  fuck you.


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By EyeKnows on 05-14-2008 6:10 PM

"but in many cases gays and or gay groups try to justify homosexuality as NOT being a sin when it clearly IS"

Oh really? You might want to do some reading about that subject instead of spewing the company line on that kow. There is nothing in the bible about homosexuality as we know it.

Mistranslation is a bitch, do some research for yourself instead of believing everything you hear from a preacher, it's the 21st century, you have many resources available dude.


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By EyeKnows on 05-14-2008 6:17 PM

Yes, if stalin was an athiest then all athiests are of the ilk of stalin, pretty simple logic.

edit - actually, visa versa since athiests existed before stalin, my bad.


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By ronjon13 on 05-14-2008 6:32 PM

 

Photobucket

Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By kowboy8686 on 05-14-2008 6:45 PM

as we know it????  as we know it?!!! they had a different way with it in the good ole days?? yeah i yield to your expertise on this one!


Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By emcee21 on 05-14-2008 6:50 PM

I lol'd at kowboy stating homosexuality is a sin as though it were indisputable fact, but I lol even harder at somebody trying to reconcile homosexuality with the bible. I guess your argument is that Sodom and Gamorrah was a big misunderstanding?

Re:How I know people who believe in Hell are faking it. In reply to
By EyeKnows on 05-14-2008 7:31 PM

"but I lol even harder at somebody trying to reconcile homosexuality with the bible." 

And I lol-ed even harder at the dolt that can't think for himself.

Do some research, or, conversely, remain an ignorant, I do not care if you believe what you are spoon fed, it is clear you haven't done even a simple google search on the topic and you probably cannot trust yourself to do real research on any subject anyway, lolz.

 
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