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CarbonPoker · Full Tilt · Cake Poker · PokerStars · Ultimate Bet · Players Only · Bodog
Have you ever been busted having sex by friends, GF, parents, etc..? Here is mine:
I was a Senior in HS and me and my buddy met my GF and her friend at her place around 10PMish. We parked his car in front of a neighbors house and walked around the side of the house to the basement. We proceed to drink and get a little buzzed. We get the idea that we should go to the poolhouse/pool to drink a little more. We get there and we drink a little more then my GF and I decide that we def want to get in the pool and get it on. My buddy and the other girl decide they want to obv stay at the poolhouse out of harms way. So we get in the pool and start to go at it all over the place in the pool. Well, im banging her from behind and i hear this, "Sarah, thats enough", in a manly voice. I double take and look over and see its her dad at the gate and i insta jump out of the pool, naked, grab my shit, and jump the fence.
My buddy told me later that he saw him watching us go at it for a good 5 minutes. He could not yell anything to me and tell me he was there so he was stuck. He said that he could not believe he actually sat there and watched his daughter have sex. Goes on to say, i was never allowed over her house and her parents hated me!
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Numan
(United States Minor Outlying Islands)
864
Posts.
Joined
02-07-2006.
02-16-2008 11:45 AM
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In reply to
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Locked
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In the immortal words of Peter Boyle:
"HOLY CRAP!"
pu_s
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I dont see any leeches honey, but it does smell like rubber
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Holy fuck I am dyyyyyyyyyyyying. The iPod pic and the dog pic sent me over the edge.
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lol, the story was funny, but all the pics and reactions afterwards is what has me laughing my fuckin ass off.
classic
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I have many legendary stories. Here is one that occurred in Seattle in the summer of 2004. Was down on my yearly trip to rip it up for the weekend with 4 long time childhood buddies. They are scattered throughout North America, so we do this trip once a year to catch up.
Friday night, got down to Seattle and just drank and played cards. Until 5am. Money lost by others and many many drinks had. Up at 7am to go golfing in 100 degree weather. By the way, my buddy had no air conditioning and his apartment was a sauna. I wanted to die. I used to be a 6 handicap but now im about a 14 or so. i shot 99 this day. Wayne Gretzky. We have a rule where if you dont get past the ladies tees on your drive or four putt, you owe a jug of beer. 6 jugs were bought, and somehow none by me. A buddy 5 putted on a par 3 that had us all on the ground in tears, but not the 3 group wait that formed on the tee behind us. Anyways, we went back home chilled for a few hours before going out for dinner and then Mariners game. After many many beers and shots, we head to a place called the Ballroom. Its a bit of a blur, but two chicks game back to my buddies apartment. There were 5 guys (one guys brother) and 2 gals. After seeing how the night was gonna stack up, seeing how two guys were a pussy and one had a g/f i was going to have to take one for the team. So 1 girl goes and passes out in bed with buddy who had the apartment and his brother. I have never asked what happened. Another guy gears down and passes out on the couch. So me and the, later named 'Orangaboon - hunch of a baboon and look of an organutan' - went on a flat airmattress and the last buddy fell asleep in the chair.
Or so i thought. The organgaboon started saying things like 'I thought u didnt like me' 'I never do this' 'blah blah blah'. A few minutes later she's going down on me... then we make out.. then im giving her the jackhammer and she blurts out "Stop giving me the jackhammer!"Obviously i didnt stop as i pretended not to hear her grunts. About 20 minutes in i hear a bit of a clank or bang. I dont have my contacts in at this point and was blind as a bat without them. So i just go back at it. It turns out buddy who was on the chair was not sleeping at all. He was watching me mount the orangaboon and couch buddy take off his pants (the belt buckle hitting the hardwood floor was the bang i heard) and proceeds to urinate in the corner of the apartment. All over an exercise ball and buddies brothers passport and wallet. So my buddy on the chair is in tears and can barely hold it in. To his right, he sees me mounting a gorilla as she says stop giving me the jackhammer. And in front of him is his other buddie urinating all over the corner of the apartment. Once the buddy stopped, he apparently tried to flush and missed and went back to passing out naked. To this day, chair buddy says he has never laughed so hard in his life.
Fast forward to the morning. Looking at the carnage i destroyed i was eager for the two boons to get out asap. Eventually they leave, i have to take a monster growler and clog the toilet. He has no plunger and its so full i cant get at it without spilling shit on the floor. So im shovelling water and shit out with a garbage can into the bathtub. Meanwhile aparently th e guy who watched the carnage last night was the one who drove us down and his keys were gone. Aparently the Boon and her friend took them by accident. They didnt have our numbers nor knew the apartment number. For some reason i will never understand, they waited outside for an hour until one of us (pissing in corner guy) had to shit and went to find a hotel close by (because of plugged toilet) and ran into them and theygave the keys back.
It was a long miserable yet unbelievably histerical drive home for me.
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did your mom sniff your cock when you got home?
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I slept over at the GF house new years eve as her parents are out at a party all night, and her bros are with friends. I wake up in the morning and start taking a shower. She wakes up as I am finishing up and comes to find me. She steps in and we start going at it. I am just about to blow and we hear the inside garage door slam and someone running into the bathroom. I motion her to hush cause she is moaning, etc. So its her dad flying into the bathroom, sits down and takes a huge, long, smelly crap moaning in relief. As he finishes up, he says "sorry sweetie, had to go so bad" in some slurred speach. Then he gets up and walks out w/o flushing! Bathroom now smells like death, gf is gagging and makes me step out to flush it. I spray air freshner, but it doesnt help any.....im mad so i get dressed and storm out. He is standing right there in the kitchen putting down another beer, and says "hey whats up" and I say "next time flush dude". He spits up his beer, gets all bug eyed, and I walk out to my car and take off for my apartment. She comes over later and tells me dad attempted to have "the talk". The apoligy sex was some of the best ive had.
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