Off Topic Post

 i beat both of you fwiw

 pm me for advice imo

ud pwns my soul

i love her!!!!!!!!!!!


(been drinking)

Don't feel awkward.  I searched the internet to help you find some tips to help you deal with how to treat the strippers:

DO NOT ask a stripper where/how she came up with her stage name. Whether it's Trista, Amber, Galaxy, or Blaze...her story will only make her look stupid and ruin the mood.

DO ask a stripper to dance to your favorite music, if possible. There is nothing better than watching a tiny little white girl with big boobs shuffle over to the booth in 6-inch heels to ask if they have "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers. It's just as much fun as putting your dollar in the jukebox.

DO NOT ask a stripper whether it was her grandfather or her uncle or Scha that molested her when she was 8. This will upset her.

DO NOT tell the girl dancing for you that "she is the most beautiful dancer in the club". She's not and she's heard it before.

DO treat lap dances like rounds. Buy them for your friends and have them buy them for you.

DO NOT comment on how well stretch marks or c-section scars show up under blacklight.

DO tip the ugly dancers at least a dollar when you send them into the VIP lounge or dressing room to fetch a sexier dancer at your request. They have kids to feed, too.

DO NOT ask about a stripper's age. She'll just lie and say she's 22 and working though college, even if she looks somewhat closer 15 or 51.

DO NOT ask about a stripper’s personal life. Ever. Unless you want what little faith in humanity you have shattered.

DO NOT make fun of the overweight, old, ugly, or otherwise unattractive strippers within earshot of the other strippers. The roly-poly girl on stage may look like she belongs in a zoo, but stating that out loud will only get you branded "that guy".

DO make fun of the overweight, old, ugly, or otherwise unattractive strippers when outside of the club. In fact, that's the key to enjoying the strip club.

DO NOT request obscure songs to the DJ. No one else in the club wants to hear your taste in music or indulge in your fantasy of seeing a girl strip to Lawrence Welk champagne music.

DO NOT throw up within sight of the stage. Nothing ruins the mood more than watching some punk kid yak his cheap beer all over the railing, or better still, all over some cheap, fake boobies.

DO NOT get into an argument with a stupid stripper. No matter what you say, she will state some inflated earning potential ("I make $700 a night") as the very definition of her existence, which justifies everything she's ever done with her wasted life as correct. No matter if she couldn’t earn $7 stripping at a dog track, she’ll still say it. As a general rule, take what any ugly stripper says she earns and divide by ten, then divide by 2 for her true earning potential.

DO wait until your sister is off the stage before asking for a ride home.

DO NOT ask the stripper if the excess baby powder on her thighs is Vagasil.

DO NOT ask the 4'8" stripper if you've seen her in a midget porn before

DO get up and go to the bathroom when the 40+ year old comes on stage to dance her two songs.  In fact, hurry.  The line will get long quickly.

DO NOT try to tip the stripper with a sandwich. You will get kicked out.

DO NOT touch anything in the rest rooms. Ever.

DO NOT fart during a lap dance.  She may knee you in your balls.

DO ask the stripper if her lazy eye is caused by inbreeding, excessive drug use or one too many backhands from the club's manager. Taking an interest in her background will show that you see her as person and not an object.

DO NOT ask the stripper how long it will take before she enters the adult video industry, everyone knows it's 18 months.

DO bring a girl or two with your group once in a while to the club. Make sure they are somewhat naive, and willing. This way they will make friends with the strippers, and get free things for both you and themselves.

DO NOT ask a stripper how she keeps her pussy from smelling when she puts it in your face during a lap dance.

DO NOT laugh at the stripper when she bumps her head on the ceiling when she is working the pole.

DO NOT blow on the stripper's pussy when she has it 1 inch from your face. You will wish you had used your tongue, as the bouncers are beating the hell out of you and tossing you out on your ass. "No touching" policies are suprisingly flexible. 

DO NOT treat the waitresses like your personal slave. See the guy behind the bar? He has a dick. Unless you want your drink stirred with it, be nice.

You should be well-schooled now.

Hope that helps solve your dilemma. :)

Jennifear:

DO NOT get into an argument with a stupid stripper.

sfagree
A++ post, jennifear

tyty