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Does that make her your uncle?
Anyhow, something I've been thinking about for a while is same sex couples having children. I have some first hand experience with seeing same sex couples interacting with children, because my ex-wife's dad is gay and lives with his lover. Granted they both treat Eva very well and spoil her a ton, but while Gary is her grandpa...what should she call his lover, Mike? This isn't the same thing as a same sex couple adopting and being parents, and they obviously don't have the same influence over my daughter as a couple who adopted a child would have over said child. That said, it's still an awkward situation and if I'm being honest, I don't like it when she's by herself with those two especially if it's over night.
What do you guys think?
Oh, I'll add this bit as well: Both Gary and Mike have children from marriages they were involved in before they met each other. Mike was a counselor for Alcoholics Anonymous and Gary attended his sessions, that's how they met. Mike has 3 kids, and Gary has 2 of his own. This is yet another reason I am not convinced of the "you're born gay" theory. These two men led lives which involved women and children and marriage to the opposite sex, until they were both over the age of 40. Mike and I actually had a pretty heated discussion recently, and that is what brought me to think about this more as of late.
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y are you uncomfortable if she stays there over night? gay = pedo now? not like they are fucking in front of the kid. tell me you wouldnt be appalled if a straight couple did the same thing?
and no shit your born gay, just how racism is taught.
and finally if i had wheels, id be a bus.
edit: to answer your question theyre both grandpa. anything else will just confuse her.
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WeyNot
(Iran, Islamic Republic of)
1,448
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Joined
09-27-2006.
11-04-2009 12:45 PM
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Gary = Grandpa
Mike = Grandma
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OneM24
(United States)
5,130
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Joined
12-18-2005.
11-04-2009 12:50 PM
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I believe the more time she spends in an environment with two gay adults, the more she will be influenced to think that behavior/sexual orientation is OK...and that's not something she should be influenced with one way or the other IMO. I would not/do not want morality being taught to my daughter by them. (A lot of that has to do with what I've seen in my ex-wife, and I shudder to think my daughter would hold some of the same beliefs and carry the same attitude as she does  )
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 WeyNot: | |
Gary = Grandpama
Mike = Grandmapa
FYP
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DJam21
(United Kingdom)
3,537
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Joined
01-04-2007.
11-04-2009 12:56 PM
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Grandpa Mike and Grandpa Gary? Call one Grandpa, and one Grandad? How do kids normally differentiate between their two grandparents of the same sex anyway?
Why are you unconfortable with her staying by herself with them, especially overnight?
Do you think they were born straight, but decided to turn gay when they became middle aged? Some strong external influences there it seems. Or, perhaps they were born gay, but because of societal pressure (especially back in those days) they led 'normal' straight lives because they felt pressured into doing so. Or even maybe they were born bisexual (with a stronger tendancy towards homosexual), meaning it felt easyish to lead a straight life, which, let's face it, would have led to far less persecution as compared to their actual preference.
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OneM24
(United States)
5,130
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Joined
12-18-2005.
11-04-2009 1:00 PM
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| DJam21: | |
Or, perhaps they were born gay, but because of societal pressure (especially back in those days) they led 'normal' straight lives because they felt pressured into doing so. Or even maybe they were born bisexual (with a stronger tendancy towards homosexual), meaning it felt easyish to lead a straight life, which, let's face it, would have led to far less persecution as compared to their actual preference.
This is one of those things I will admit to being close minded about. I will never believe being gay is NOT a choice. I'm sure I'll get blasted for that statement, but I really DGAF.
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Wow, it took 1 response to equate you not wanting your daughter spending the night in a home of two gay men to = pedo concerns? This is obviously not the case at all here for OneM.
Everyone has different core values, aspects of life that are considered of vital importance and in many cases a set of beliefs that a person molds a life around. Everyone has different values in their lives and we are all free to live by what we see fit. I see the same thing in how we raise our kids and what you want them to have as their own core values.
There is nothing wrong with OneM not wanting his daughter around any type of situation or environment that revovles around things he would not care for her to witness. There are FAR more situations these same arguments can be applied to, especially if you get into religion and schooling/education.
I also agree with OneM on "not being born gay", but I am sure this thread will turn into a shitshow so whatever on that one.
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OneM24
(United States)
5,130
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Joined
12-18-2005.
11-04-2009 1:13 PM
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| HK_MP5N: | |
There is nothing wrong with OneM not wanting his daughter around any type of situation or environment that revovles around things he would not care for her to witness.
This.
As a parent, I have a right to decide what I do and do not want my daughter to be around. I have an obligation to ensure she is being raised properly, and in an environment which will help define what she believes to be acceptable behavior.
To answer a question posed, yes I do feel as if Gary and Mike influenced Hayley's decisions before, during, and after we were married. I'm not going to get into specifics, but I will say the things believed to be perfectly ok behavior for and by them, are NOT ok for me and I do not want my daughter acting that way. Some of those things include being selfish, immoral, and unethical.
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DJam21
(United Kingdom)
3,537
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11-04-2009 1:19 PM
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I don't think many people are going to argue that you have the right to decide how your daughter is raised. What is being questioned are the reasonings behind it.
| OneM24: | |
Some of those things include being selfish, immoral, and unethical.
Yes, these are bad traits. Are you suggesting they're linked to homosexuality?
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| DJam21: | |
I don't think many people are going to argue that you have the right to decide how your daughter is raised. What is being questioned are the reasonings behind it.
Yes, these are bad traits. Are you suggesting they're linked to homosexuality?
Not necessarily so, but they could be additional traits he has witnessed in them besides the homosexual behaviors.
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Some scientists will tell you that gender is not an either/or situation, but more of a spectrum.
Just for illustration purposes, a lot of men are fully XY and brutally masculine (like myself). Other men may be more XY with the Y being a little split at the bottom, making him a little fem (closer to XX), but not necessarily gay.
Its the same with women ie XX with the Legs on one X closing up a little (closer to XY) making them more manly... etc.
With all that said, most people are born fully XY or XX and wouldn't ever be gay.
Some people are born completely gay. And the final group, depending on their place on the gender spectrum, could be convinced or decide to become gay if conditions are appropriate.
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| OneM24: | |
I believe the more time she spends in an environment with two gay adults, the more she will be influenced to think that behavior/sexual orientation is OK...and that's not something she should be influenced with one way or the other IMO.
I'm not a fan of that statement because I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with people being homosexual. I understand you would prefer to educate your child about sex on your own terms but that's really unrealistic. Maybe you don't want your daughter to grow up with an open mind and would prefer her to think homosexuality is a sin. As a father you have those rights but the mother has rights as well and as long as she isn't putting your daughter at actual harm than you are going to have to come to compromise.
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DJam21
(United Kingdom)
3,537
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Joined
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11-04-2009 1:27 PM
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| HK_MP5N: | |
Not necessarily so, but they could be additional traits he has witnessed in them besides the homosexual behaviors.
So long as we're clear that homosexuality has nothing to do with the bad traits mentioned.
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