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Couple friends and I started having a conversation on whether we thought this was a good or bad thing today after hearing that our friend and his GF were moving in together.
My thought was that it was a good thing - they've been together for over 5 years and I thought it's better to find out now if you have any serious issues with living together rather than waiting until you're married to find it out.
I thought my line of thinking was fairly standard, but I was the only one in my group that thought it was a good idea. So what say you OT?
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aj_law
(United States)
1,947
Posts.
Joined
08-09-2006.
11-18-2009 11:07 AM
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In reply to
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 ericINtheX: | |
I think you're the smartest of the bunch.
^^^x1000.
I strongly recommend that you live together first. Take it from someone that's been there and done that.
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Ive been living with my gf for over a year not, we have been dating for over 5 and i think it is a good thing to do b4 getting married. I regret it now due to many fights and its a pain in the azz to grind with a gf breathing down ur neck, puts on tilt like no other. But we are still together and prob will get married one day, but at least now I know now how it is going to be in the future. Most important part is to make time for yourself and not be on top of each other every second your both at home, imo.
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| peanut111: | |
Ive been living with my gf for over a year not, we have been dating for over 5 and i think it is a good thing to do b4 getting married. I regret it now due to many fights and its a pain in the azz to grind with a gf breathing down ur neck, puts on tilt like no other. But we are still together and prob will get married one day, but at least now I know now how it is going to be in the future. Most important part is to make time for yourself and not be on top of each other every second your both at home, imo.
sounds like paradise....
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I guess its not for everyone. Working out well for me so far. GF and I dated for a little over a year and then moved into a townhouse together. Its been about 5 months now and so far so good. Sure beats us paying seperate rent and then staying over at each others house all the time.
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OneM24
(United States)
5,591
Posts.
Joined
12-18-2005.
11-18-2009 11:42 AM
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In reply to
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| dirtydonzo: | |
Sure beats us paying seperate rent and then staying over at each others house all the time.
YUP!
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Wow, I will be the 1% on this thread then. My girl and I were best friends for 1.5 yrs prior to dating. Dating since March. 28 and 26, both lived with someone we used to date while we were dating them. Both agree that waiting would be better.
Our reasoning is this, what would change after you get married? She stays over on weekends, etc. Comes over during the week. We spend tons of time together. But when I was with my ex, everything would have been exactly the same after the wedding. I agree that you want to know you can live iwth someone before you have to do it. 100%. But you can't tell that from being with them for so long, them coming over, etc??? I will give you that there are always some things that you wouldn't pick up on, her stuff there, etc. But extrapolate it out and you can foresee 95%.
Out of curiousity, how many people arguing for have only lived with the person they are with now?
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Living together before getting engaged/married worked for me.
This is how you really learn the most about the person you are with and whether you are truly compatible for the long haul.
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i guess i'm like chaz since fmxer and i basically moved in together the day we met in real life. married 9 months after that....though we're not working on 12 years yet lol just 2 in december :)
as far as people thinking we will make it, im sure we got the less than a year BS, but that's mostly from you aholes in OT so no one takes it seriously lolz. i actually think most of you think i've killed him.....which may be true obv, or fmxer isn't real....
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JRoth15
(United States)
11,592
Posts.
Joined
07-25-2006.
11-18-2009 12:52 PM
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In reply to
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| TheFirm53: | |
Living together before getting engaged/married worked for me.
This is how you really learn the most about the person you are with and whether you are truly compatible for the long haul.
exactly...I've been living with my g/f for just over a year now (dating for like 6+). While she doesn't do anything that bugs me to the point of submission, I couldn't imagine never living with someone before getting married, only to magically find that they do some stuff that tilts the shit out of you.
It's not like I look down on not living together before becoming life partners, but I just don't think it's the best decision.
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May as well find out you can't live with her before getting married instead of tying the knot and then figuring it out.
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| Mr Galt: | |
sounds like paradise....
Oh yea and we just got a freaken puppy, just living the life
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| peanut111: | |
Oh yea and we just got a freaken puppy, just living the life
thats fucking hysterical to me for some reason
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sooicide if you do...sooicide if you dont
f getting married.
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mordan
(United States)
1,399
Posts.
Joined
07-15-2005.
11-18-2009 2:53 PM
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In reply to
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| DetUcf: | |
Couple friends and I started having a conversation on whether we thought this was a good or bad thing today after hearing that our friend and his GF were moving in together.
My thought was that it was a good thing - they've been together for over 5 years and I thought it's better to find out now if you have any serious issues with living together rather than waiting until you're married to find it out.
I thought my line of thinking was fairly standard, but I was the only one in my group that thought it was a good idea. So what say you OT?
I can speak from experience. My fiancee and I had been together as a couple for 6 years before we moved in together. At that time I had still not proposed to her. We moved in together basically because we had both graduated from college and had just come to a point in our lives where we didn't want to live with roommates any more.
It was probably the best decision of my life so far on a couple of fronts. Waiting was a good decision because by the time we did move in we fully wanted to live together and had already lived the "college partying life". This kept us both from feeling tied down, or from feeling like we were "missing out". At the same time it was a good decision not to wait any longer to move in with each other, mostly because it really sealed the deal for me that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.
IMHO it is really important to find out if you can live with someone. In today's world full of broken families that produced a lot of the kids in our generation this security is needed to fully give yourself to someone I think.
Just my 2cents
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Any girl willing to live with their boyfriend wo/ a ring on her finger is disrespecting herself. You should only live w/ somebody that has committed to you, people moving in together to see if they can handle it are flakes. If her bitching at you for leaving the toilet seat up is a deal breaker then you won't be able to work it out once married anyway. If you love someone you should be able to look past petty things that arise through living together.
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