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Share your worst sexual experience
hawgfarmer (United States) 311 Posts. Joined 01-16-2008.
10-16-2009 12:06 PM

Title says it all. Dead lays, pinched nipples, a finger slipped somewhere... tell me about the worst sex you have had with someone or an awkward sexual moment. For me personally it was getting head from a fat chick (the only fat girl i have ever done stuff with) the head was great but when I dabbled my fingers in her crotch the next morning my hand was all bloody and shit. I wanted to puke. Have at it....

 
 
 

jamie16119 326 Posts. Joined 05-04-2009.
10-16-2009 12:48 PM - In reply to

RaidenRadio: 
Once dated a girl who was.... an idiot. Here are some of the worst things.

I have never once thought it would be a good idea to stick it in a girl's pooper. It's not my thing. She wanted me to and it was..... pretty terrible. No lube, no nothing, she just wants it in her pooper. It was beyond awful and neither one of us enjoyed it. Then I pulled out and it was awkward. Then it was made 10x worst when we at the time time noticed a chocolate stain on the tip of.... me.

Yeah, real fun uncomfortably sitting there while someone scrubs a shitstain off the tip of your penis with a moist washcloth.



Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and somehow she had forgotten that she had just started her period. So, yay I earned my red wings.


Another time I was taking a trip down Mexico way and it just tasted..... really strange. Turned out she had a yeast infection. So, yay I earned my yellow wings.



In case I didn't already point this out this was my EX-GF


you sir are my hero
i just fuckin LOL'D

abower1185 (United States) 1,175 Posts. Joined 12-04-2006.
10-16-2009 12:51 PM - In reply to

I've actually never mentioned this to anyone. But when I was 17ish, this black girl messaged me on myspace. She only had two pictures and seemed pretty hot. I had never done a black girl and she was talkin all dirty saying she wanted to suck some white dick. One thing led to another and I went to her apartment...........

Knock,Knock

A 200ish pound black girl opens the door wearing some huge ass frilly lingerie. Of course, I ask where Leatha is...she says I'm looking at her. I was pretty shocked and told her I had to leave. She says she understand and offers to just hang out and smoke a blunt. I was pretty wasted cause who wants to fuck a black stranger girl sober.......
Anyway I end up getting head and doing her with her dildo.

On second thought I guess it wasn't that bad.

jamie16119 326 Posts. Joined 05-04-2009.
10-16-2009 12:53 PM - In reply to

abower1185: 
I've actually never mentioned this to anyone. But when I was 17ish, this black girl messaged me on myspace. She only had two pictures and seemed pretty hot. I had never done a black girl and she was talkin all dirty saying she wanted to suck some white dick. One thing led to another and I went to her apartment...........

Knock,Knock

A 200ish pound black girl opens the door wearing some huge ass frilly lingerie. Of course, I ask where Leatha is...she says I'm looking at her. I was pretty shocked and told her I had to leave. She says she understand and offers to just hang out and smoke a blunt. I was pretty wasted cause who wants to fuck a black stranger girl sober.......
Anyway I end up getting head and doing her with her dildo.

On second thought I guess it wasn't that bad.



WHY DIDNT U FUCK HER?

uh ooh (United States) 366 Posts. Joined 09-25-2006.
10-16-2009 12:54 PM - In reply to

About 4 years ago i was out with 2 buddies and this chick who was kinda hangin out with my friend but he hadnt closed yet......well were on the way to drop me off at 2 am at my moms in portland (i lived in vancouver at the time) and im in the back with this girl and i mention we should hang out sometime.....she says how bout right now. I lol and then we get out at my moms go in and start fucking downstairs instantly, 5-10 mins in a light gets flipped on and shes straddling me nude in the living room and theres my mom like WTF!!!! I scream at her and she goes away........well me and the girl just laugh it off and start smokin bowls and drinkin more....fast forward an hour and were asleep in my old room (on the floor)......when i hear what sounds like pissing and sure enough i open my eyes to this drunk bitch whizzin away maybe 5 ft from my head......needless to say i freaked out and ended up having my buddy come pick her up and take her home..........best part is he ended up dating this girl for over a year


abower1185 (United States) 1,175 Posts. Joined 12-04-2006.
10-16-2009 12:58 PM - In reply to

jamie16119: 
WHY DIDNT U FUCK HER?


Because....
1. She got me off from the head pretty quickly
2. I wanted my B-card taken from someone under 200lbs.

pbcsurfer (United States) 231 Posts. Joined 01-24-2007.
10-16-2009 1:06 PM - In reply to



sXeffects (United States) 762 Posts. Joined 05-10-2008.
10-16-2009 1:09 PM - In reply to

pbcsurfer: 

Band played last Sat., met random band chicks invited us back to her mansion turns out, hook up wiht one in pool, go back inside then we move to her dads office. She jumped on me and were making out she got naked and layed back on the couch and said  " how bad do you want to fuck right now?" She laid back i looked down and my shirt was covered in blood ran out of the room puked took my shirt off and left with my friend with 24 pack of coronas, havent talked to since.



anyone else imagining this guy running out of room with arms flailing screaming like a girl?

stackinsideways (United States) 4,325 Posts. Joined 03-27-2008.
10-16-2009 1:16 PM - In reply to

was getting head from my highschool sweety at my buddies house...

she ends up losing her gum in my pubic hair durring the process...    lets just say that was the worst bj ever


jasmith85 (United States) 3,198 Posts. Joined 11-08-2005.
10-16-2009 1:17 PM - In reply to

 One word:


Hair


jeppg1111 (United States) 1,982 Posts. Joined 01-25-2005.
10-16-2009 1:21 PM - In reply to

i got caught playing five knuckle shuffle


normlfella (United States) 1,755 Posts. Joined 05-17-2006.
10-16-2009 1:21 PM - In reply to

hawgfarmer: 

Title says it all. Dead lays, pinched nipples, a finger slipped somewhere... tell me about the worst sex you have had with someone or an awkward sexual moment. For me personally it was getting head from a fat chick (the only fat girl i have ever done stuff with) the head was great but when I dabbled my fingers in her crotch the next morning my hand was all bloody and shit. I wanted to puke. Have at it....



does not compute

josephf 39 Posts. Joined 07-26-2009.
10-16-2009 1:29 PM - In reply to

stackinsideways: 

was getting head from my highschool sweety at my buddies house...

she ends up losing her gum in my pubic hair durring the process...    lets just say that was the worst bj ever



This happened to me once as well. Except I was getting the BJ in a public park and it was very out and did not notice until I got home and was going to the bathroom and looked and was like "aww shit"...  It was really awful, who forgets to take out their gum honestly?

Pwninator 16 Posts. Joined 10-16-2009.
10-16-2009 1:34 PM - In reply to

 I bet that was a sticky situation!


maphaus (United States) 507 Posts. Joined 11-03-2007.
10-16-2009 1:38 PM - In reply to

My gf was on top and she was about to get off so she started going up and down pretty fast.  Well she went up to far and came back down on my penis it jabbed into the the side of her vagina instead of in it.  It felt like she had snapped my shit in half.


pigalet42 (United States) 10,429 Posts. Joined 01-31-2007.
10-16-2009 1:43 PM - In reply to

 

pm baughman about broke dick - /thread
 
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